Derek asked her after checking in on a surgical patient. They were in the hallway, surrounded by white walls and white tile.
"Meredith, what does this mean?"
He was talking about what happened at prom. Meredith didn't answer. She looked down, then to the side. Her hair waved the direction she tilted her head.
"Meredith!" he asked a little louder, hoping to get an answer.
"What? What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that I don't want to see you? Do you want me to tell you that you have to divorce Addison and pick me? Is that it? You're just waiting for someone to tell you that you have to stop so you have a reason?"
She was yelling. Tears were forming in her eyes. "Huh?" she looked at him, expecting an answer.
He almost had tears in his eyes. His throat throbbed. He stared at her.
Meredith threw her hands up in the air and walked toward the elevator. She stepped in, alone, and waited for the door to slowly close. She waited a few seconds, and then she felt them coming. She felt the big crocodile tears in her throat, then one down her cheek. She reached over and pulled the red knob to stop the elevator. She slid down the wall of the compartment, crying and listening to the alarm ring.
All she could think about was Prom. How she was on a date with Finn, and he told her he had plans. The way Derek looked at her when they were dancing with their dates. The temptation. And of course, she broke. She broke and it split. The hatred of herself and Derek. The affair he committed. And the problem was… she liked it.
She pulled herself together. Her crying time was up. Meredith stood up and pushed in the red knob. The elevator jolted and slowly continued to go down.
At lunch, the usual seating was always. It was like high school lunch all over again. The cool kids sat at one table, the rejects at another, then the people no one likes, the people who everyone likes, the couple who fight a lot, and Meredith's table, the mistresses. Whether they were dirty mistresses or sleepers, strippers or lingerie models, and the couple who don't get in trouble but they guide the mistresses, all 6 of them were there. Christina, Meredith, Alex, Izzie, George, and Callie.
Meredith sometimes regretted sitting at this table. It was beside Derek and Addison's table. So even when she was eating, that's all she saw. The perfect couple. Right in front of her eyes. She had to watch them eat and laugh. And flirt and pass light kisses every now and then.
"Meredith, are you okay?" Izzie asked her.