Col. O'Neill and MacGyver change bodies and lives much to Carter's annoyance

Disclaimer: Don't own Stargate or anything to do with it if I did I would have it continue to run after season 10. Don't own MacGyver either. This is my first Mac fanfic and only tried it after watching a couple of episodes so if I seem to make any mistakes PLEASE TELL ME.

Hope you enjoy it all the same.


Chapter 1- The ol' Switch-a-roo

"Sir we can't hold them off much longer!" O'Neill heard his 2IC Major Carter yell over the gun fight as the enemy were attacking if this wasn't such a serious situation he would have found it funny as the sight. 34 Koala Bears attacking SG-1 with advanced weaponry that the SGC and Teal'c had not seen before…well Jack new he new them from somewhere.

"Daniel hate to hurry you but the Koala Bears are winning at the moment—not good!" Jake yelled down the radio attached to his jacket

"Jack, their not Koala Bears Koala's are a marsupial therefore can not be called a bear and don't EVER let an Australian hear you say that! Besides the gate is about to lock in uh-oh" Daniel replied as calmly as only Daniel can.

"Uh-oh, uh-oh isn't good Danny" Jack said looking over his shoulder to see that Daniel was working on the gate address—again.

"Ok it's open Carter need the code." Carter punched in the code through the GDO one by one the SG-1 team all filed through the gate just as Jack went through the gate he felt some sort of pins and needles feeling down his back before falling through the gate.

Daniel couldn't help but laugh as the leader of SG-1 fell backwards on to the ramp of the Stargate General Hammond was about to call for medics when Jack got up and walked down to the rest of his team.

"You alright Colonel?" Hammond asked

"Fine, just over balanced" Daniel heard Jack reply as he was escorted to the infirmary for post-op tests Daniel grinned as he tucked this piece of information away but the grin stopped. The landing was of one that the teams would always land before the expert teachings of Teal'c showed them how to use the gate.

"So did the big Koala bears scare poor widdle Jack O'Neill?" Daniel taunted in a baby voice.

"Actually seeing as how the Koala's are not related to the bear family as they are marsupials and carry the young in the pouch for many months rather than give birth to live young they are nothing like the bear family so are just Koala" Jack replied

"Too shea." Daniel replied hitting the elevator call button.

Janet looked up to see the two men walk side by side into the infirmary

"Ahh, Colonel O'Neill and Dr. Jackson please take a seat I'll be with you after I examine Carter." Janet said as she pressed the needle into Sam's arm.

"Wonder if she will use the big needles today?" Daniel asked hoping to get a rise out of Jack, he instead just seemed to be thinking Daniel couldn't blame him the natives of PJ4-989 seemed friendly enough when they made contact were very accommodating even laughed at Sam trying to out fight their leader but the next morning the 'Koala's' as Jack called them were very fidgety and later hostile towards the team Daniel still doesn't know what had caused the rift.

"So Daniel did you think we would ever meet human size Koala's?" Sam asked sitting next to him on the bed

"No I didn't, they looked like those Evokes out of Star Wars didn't they?" Daniel asked

"Indeed I believe you mean Ewoks." Teal'c replied having watched the DVD edition of Star wars out Daniel still doesn't want to think how many times that would have had to have been played to burn holes in the DVD itself.

"Well Sg-1 it seems you are all fit and healthy but I would like you Colonel to come back in an hour or so to allow me to check on the bullet wound on your shoulder." Janet replied.

"Fair enough." Jack replied making SG-1 and Janet look at him

"Wait Jack did you just promise to come back?" Daniel asked

"Sure why not?" Jack asked

"Time to buy that lotto ticket." Sam said out loud

Jack was not happy; first of all he was attacked by over sized teddy bears that should be overfilling a girl's bedroom now he was being attacked by a Brazilian man who made Teal'c's muscles look like cooked noodles. What is going on?

"So MacGyver are you ready to talk? Who sent you here?" The boss asked dressed in an all white suit with gold jewellery decorating him.

"Would you believe I have no idea?" Jack replied he didn't have enough time to breathe in before he was winded by the other man.

"Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac your doing yourself no favors by acting like a hero better men than you have failed to hold on information when I'm cranky let alone pissed." The boss said. Jack didn't even know who this MacGyver was let alone what he was doing here.

"Wait, I think I know how to make you talk send him to the cooler." The man replied

"Oh Yay the cooler why do you guys call it a cooler when it does—the heating thing." Jack stated as he was placed in the rusty iron cadge in the middle of the sun. Leaning his head back Jack thought about the past 3 hours becoming more and more confused.

He headed to the Stargate trying to work out what Daniel meant by the uh-oh when he felt pins and needles followed by an Asgard teleportation device then being knocked out then three wonderful hours of 'Ask no questions…tell no lies" all he hoped was his team mates will find him before he goes nuts!

MacGyver was starting to think something was unquestionably wrong when they had to talk to the commanding officer General George Hammond as he was starting to think that this was not a new information gathering technique the team consisting of Major Samantha Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson and Teal'c seemed to not say much at all, and has a strange tattoo on his head cool but strange.

"Colonel do you wish to add anything?" The General asked him

"No I believe that about covers it." Mac replied, well I didn't exactly lie the General was obviously puzzled at his lack of opinion but Carter and Jackson seemed to have done a good job explaining the people on P…PJ4-989 what ever that is.

"O'Neill would you care to join me in a round of 'ping pong'?" Teal'c asked

"Sorry no can do promised Doc I'd go back to the infirmary how about after?" Mac asked heading down to the elevator hoping he hadn't blown his cover.

Sam noticed that everyone including the General went to her office to talk about Jack.

"I don't understand it looks like Jack, sounds like jack but the mannerisms and everything else isn't Jack." Daniel started the others agreed.

"The way he landed well rather didn't land wasn't the colonel either."

"Let's not forget him coming back to my office. Sir I went over the tests three times that man in there is either an exact copy or Jack has some illness that doesn't come out in tests." Janet replied walking in the office. Sam was about to make a comment when Walter's voice came over the P.A.

"Chemical leak in Lab 34, warning chemical leak in Lab 34." Instantly the sirens and red lights came blazing the party left Sam's office to render assistance in the lab.

They made it to the lab to see that Jack was there showing the scientists how to stop the acid leak with…chocolate? This was all the proof everyone needed that this was not the correct colonel.

"Who ever you are you are under arrest." General Hammond authorized the look on Jack's face didn't help any instead of its usual what? It was guilty.

"I suppose the time to come clean has arrived. My name is MacGyver and I have no idea how I came to be here."

Jack was not happy he had been in here long enough for him to never want to touch the oven again…'wait when was the last time I used the oven. No think dammit how to get out of here'… before he could think of a plan he was blinded by the light shining through muscles reached in and pulled him out forcing O'Neill to stand on his legs that were as burnt as they felt he was then half dragged to the man's boss who was sitting in front of a desk fan.

"So MacGyver you thought that you could out wit us with the use of a bomb. We have de-activated the bomb but if you don't tell us where the girl you helped escape has gone we will blow up Colorado Springs"

A/N Thanks for the reviews Adm. Bones and Midget 101 that was really appreciated and offcourse to you all for your interest in this fanfic.

Chapter 2

Jack couldn't believe it tell this Bozo about some chick that has escaped or get his town blown up he looked around to try and find the camera's waiting for someone to yell "Smile your on candid camera" But that opportunity never occurred and Jack was running out of time the man was getting more insistent every second and getting more and more angry as time went by, Jack almost missed the snakeheads eyes glowing when they are pissed, almost.

"Would you believe I have no idea where the girl is?" Jack asked wishing for the hundredth time to have Daniel and Carter's negotiation abilities the man got up from the fan and walked over to the other side of the table leaning back on it with his arms and legs crossed at ease with the situation.

"MacGyver not know anything? Sorry Mac been in this business for awhile now you are a man who can put a fire our with gasoline—"

"Uh boss, isn't that impossible?" The big burly man asked Jack was waiting for the 'Duh' sound from 'boss'

"I think that was a metaphor" Jack replied with out thinking, well he was to the planet where there was a Civil War on between two cultures unbeknown to them they were helping the 'enemy' the ones who in sighted the war the creators of the war.

"You know Mac I thought you would have been hitting me at every corner with your unique sense of humor but I can't see any of it." Boss replied

"Oh but I'm sure we will have plenty of time to get to know each other over tea and biscuits." Jack replied mimicking the knights who say 'Ni' the boss just laughed and picked up a remote control for detonating a bomb. 'Obviously Colorado is close by….' Jack thought to himself 'wait it can't be Carter made mention if we were 200 light years further they would need an 8th symbol. Where is his team to help him out of this? Where is Carter dammit!

General Hammond, Major Carter and Teal'c were looking at the CTV screen of the interview with 'MacGyver' who seemed to have very limited information for them that was any use. Hammond looked over to SG-1

"Who the hell is that in O'Neill's body?" Hammond asked they new the Goa'uld were good at hiding themselves in another host until they wanted to make themselves known but there was no sign of any symbiots inside of him and Carter and Teal'c never had the sensation of a Goa'uld in him.

"Sir, I have looked up every record I could think of there is no live, dead, ill MacGyver who ever this "O'Neill" is he is not from Earth. Daniel and Teal'c have looked up anything on the computer about him to find…nothing no cults, no reference, no hint of a MacGyver out there." Sam replied

"Perhaps this is another form of 'Alternate Reality'" Teal'c declared Sam and Hammond swapped glances at each other

"It is a possibility I mean sir, as you know every action deserves a re-action a decision leaves a path for the other option perhaps this is one A.R that seems to be based on a different life for the Colonel." Sam replied.

"Are you trying to tell me that that man down there could be another form of 'Colonel Jack O'Neill?" Hammond asked dreading the answer Sam looked at the TV to her side where Daniel was trying to understand the situation

"For all I know…he could be." Sam surmised

"Sorry to keep you. How are you?" Daniel asked sitting down on the vacant side of the table in a military grey room/ holding cell. 'Jack' grinned the only way Jack can

"I'm confused I'm afraid you have me at a total disadvantage, I know absolutely nothing about what's going on here. But I do have high security clearance." Jack replied.

"Obviously not high enough" Daniel muttered under his breath as he got out a new file and handed the other man coffee with milk and sugar on the side if he wanted it.

"Trust me we are about as much in the dark as you are. You see the person's body you're inhabiting is a friend of mine's Colonel Jack O'Neill he was supposed to come here with us not you…" Daniel replied hitting himself for sounding so self-centered.

"Trust me I don't want to be here the last thing I remember is helping a woman escape and dismantling a bomb using sugar cubes and shoe laces then falling flat on my back with you and your friends laughing." Jack replied

"Yes about that, can I ask what you were doing?" Daniel asked Jack Shrugged

"Sure, you see my name is MacGyver Mac for short, I work for the government to stop anything from exploding, causing devastation. I was on my way to a hunting trip with my friend from high school who has just quit his job as a hell fighter. We were going up the mountains but I was delayed and got lost. I went to stop at a local restaurant for directions that got me even more lost—"

"And yet you managed to stop an acid attack with chocolate bars?" Daniel interrupted.

"Hey maps aren't my forte. Anyway I sort of accidentally ran into some drug traffickers who held a pilots daughter hostage while he delivers the opium to the manufacturers, I was late anyway and decided five more minutes wouldn't hurt so I went on a rescue op. after this girl. I managed to cause a few distractions around the perimeter of the old airplane hanger and get her to safety before I was captured by this one Brazilian guy who would make Arnold Swarzenegger a feather weight. The man brought me to this rich boss who was shorter than my brother's current girlfriend—trust me that's short—who informed me that because I hindered the Opium delivery the villagers in the next town were going to be punished as they sent me to help them. My attempts to stop them only caused me to be hit by the help I was sent backwards and landed here." Mac replied Daniel wrote it all down asked a few questions then went to relay the incident to the rest of the SG-1 and Hammond.

Jack wasn't sure why the villagers were to be punished by him not telling Bob where the girl went, after all they were not part of the tiff…were they? He saw that the leader was talking to several old men accompanied by some young teen early twenty year old female's one looked very different from the other tribes as she was white as the other's were beyond tan more like the picture of Zeus Daniel kept in his house that was given to him as a joke gift from Carter two Christmases ago. There were raised voices in a language that Jack didn't understand but new the tone wasn't a good one so he fought off his guards and went to try to calm the waters he managed to reach the crowed where the obvious leader of the village was trying to talk reason to his captor.

"Mr. Shan assures you Master Hermann that he doesn't know anything about a plot to make you leave they are all happy that you are here you bring them employment, money and prosperity—" The girl replied with a strong Australian accent.

"Ask Mr. Shan why that when an intruder has arrived my daughter and the man who was delivering the opium have gone?" The girl relayed the message in the native tongue and replied.

"Mr. Shan begs you to believe that his people didn't invite him perhaps another village further south?" The girl was slapped by Hermann Jack had enough of listening from the sidelines and went to do something about it.

"Hey, just because you don't like the answer doesn't mean you can take back the question!" Jack said sliding down the slope landing inches away from Hermann

"You are not permitted to be part of this conversation" One of the body guards said leaning close to Jack's face.

"Whew can I offer you a breath mint? No how bout four?" Jack muttered the man was about to slap Jack before Hermann stopped him in the native tongue the man just glared at Jack but he was immune just mention the name Tanneth in Teal'c presence and you get a better glare that that!

"Mary its five o'clock the men will be hungry soon." Hermann replied the Australian Mary bowed down and went to another building that Jack guessed was the kitchen.

"You are wearing my patience thin boy you thought I was hard to get along with now wait until I decide I have waited long enough for my answer about Jackie" Hermann replied the villagers bowed down so low they may almost be able to smell the ground when Hermann walked past. 'Opium, Jackie, villagers…this is one scenario that Jack new he had to correct he was escorted back to his hut when he saw the blue eyes of Mary watching him through the window. 'But first I better see what Mary is up to.'

"After listening to the evidence and talking to Mac myself I can see no other alternative than to have you all working together to get Jack and Mac to their rightful places." Hammond informed SG-1

"Sir, what about security?" Sam asked

"Taken care of major. As of ten minutes ago the president has informed me that what ever you need to get Jack back." Hammond concluded the briefing by leaving the table with Sam rising as a sign of respect.

"Well let's go see what help Mac can be shall we?" Daniel asked as he got up. They all went to introduce themselves to Mac besides Daniel who had spoken to him on several occasions now.

Sam was working in her office trying to ignore the annoying sound of Mac's voice. Seriously this guy is worse than McKay hmm maybe it has to do with the Mc in the name Sam smiled to herself at that thought.

"See told you, your beginning to like me I can tell" Mac replied from his end of her office. She looked up from the microscope to look at him in the eyes but faltered. 'Why is it every time I see him using technology correctly I feel the sudden urge to buy that lotto ticket.' Sam thought to herself

"Listen MacGyver as soon as you are away from me and back to your world the happier I would be." Sam replied as she went back to work she heard movement from the other side of the room but ignored it.

"If you put the light there you won't have to strain your eyes." Mac said as he moved the lamp Sam rested her eyes on the table before looking at him.

"Thank you ever so much." Sam replied sarcastically Mac didn't seem to notice as he walked back to his experiment of trying to attach chewing gum to some sort of electronic thing he made.

"If you want some blu tac all you had to do was ask I have a stash in the right drawer," Sam replied.

"No thanks they won't bring out the right consistency of electrical current I need." Mac replied Sam just shook her head and left the room she was walking down the corridor when she ran, literally, into Daniel and Teal'c.

"Hey Sam how is it in there with you and Mac?" Daniel asked

"MacGyver is worse than McKay…which reminds me can he return for a few days from Russia?" Sam asked Teal'c raised an eye brow.

"Man Mac must be really annoying for you to want to work next to Rodney but I'm afraid as much as he loved the fact that you needed his help he can't make it in the middle of something." Daniel replied Sam should have expected that since MacGyver has come into the picture her life has been driven insane and everything has gone wrong.

"Sam we were looking for you, have you seen Mac?" The new scientist asked she turned bright red when MacGyver turned up in the same corridor and became a babbling buffoon.

"He needs to go." Daniel replied

"I concur." Teal'c replied Sam looked at them both in awe and shock.

"Wait I thought you guys liked him? That you wanted to make him feel at home?" Sam repeated their statements.

"Well. Yes I suppose so but…" Sam new it he did like the new girl Sam just grinned at him and walked off glade to know that he wasn't only annoying her.

"Carter wait." MacGyver yelled Sam turned round to face him

"I understand this can't be easy for you, this isn't a ball game for me either but can you please stop being the annoying brat?" MacGyver asked

"I'm the annoying one?" Sam asked she couldn't believe the gall that MacGyver had.

"I'm not the one who insists on the lamp being placed too close to the samples, I'm not the one who frequently changes the layout of MY office; I'm not the one who—"

"Ok ok point taken. Sam I need to get home ASAP the Opium dealers won't keep O'Neill alive forever and the Opium needs to be stopped before more villages are destroyed." MacGyver replied.

"I know the gravity of the situation MacGyver, but we need to work in a way that is comfortable for both of us." Sam replied Mac held out his hand.


"Deal." Sam agreed.

Jack paced the new cell floor for something to do. He finally dunnit over stepped the bounds that were there. He told Hermann once too often to go to hell and now he was paying for it. He didn't mean for this to happen all he wanted was for him to leave the villagers alone or for them to rebel but no instead he is in a 3x4 foot room with nothing to sit on but the dirt floor and a window that was made by an angry fist on the furthest wall from the door. He tried to escape and talk to one of the local villages but was turned in by one of the loyal members. The door opened to allow Mary inside who was carrying a plate of food; bread and salad, milk and a table all at once. It was the first time that Jack managed to see what she was wearing a loose white top with a gypsy style skirt that made her look like she was dressed in a Mexican theme she did look in his direction but not to his face or eyes. She kept her head bowed.

"Mr. Hermann believed you may be hungry Mr. MacGyver." Mary repeated her Australian accent strong she looked like she could do with a meal herself

"Thank you. By the way the names—"

"Mac I know…but we must be formal here Mr. Hermann doesn't allow it to be any other way." Mary replied she then started to head to the door.

"Wait, wait a moment can I ask you something?" Jack asked Mary closed the door and then looked at him.

"Sir?" Mary asked

"What would you say if I told you I have no idea who MacGyver is? That I am from some other place and the name's Colonel Jack O'Neill?" Jack asked the girl looked at him and smiled.

"MacGyver you are full of tricks there is no way we are ever going to fall for any of them." Mary replied as she left. Angrily ripping apart the bread Jack thought of a new way to break out of here and go to a different village. Jack noticed the sun had gone down and Mary had been and gone for the plate she left a large bottle of water for him that was concealed in her backpack that she 'accidentally' left behind. Jack rolled up his jacket to use as a pillow and looked out the 'window' to the clear night sky wondering which one of those stars is home. Jack didn't realise that he had dozed off until he heard Mary walk up to him,

"Mac?" She whispered Jack stood up to allow her to see him

"Get down!" She whispered and walked to him where she sat opposite him on the ground. She had changed her skirt to jeans.

"Is it true that you are not MacGyver?" Mary asked she was sitting in a way that allowed herself to prop her head on her right knee.

"Yes, I am Jack O'Neill two l's." Jack replied Mary thought for a moment before replying every so softly.

"If this is true then you are truly in the wrong place. Mr. Hermann is insistent that you are MacGyver the man who can make bombs out of wire and fertilizer." Mary replied

"I leave that up to Major Carter." Jack replied Mary got up and looked out of the door

"The men are still partying I must get back to them. I must return with my bag, did you look inside it?" Mary asked Jack didn't know how to respond Mary nodded her head.

"I'm glade." She replied as she left Jack was still going through the conversation when he heard gun shots that turned his blood cold he tried to open the door to see what was happening but the wooden door was not opening no matter how much instistance he gave it. The men were laughing and calling each other generally having a good celebration, Jack was not too sure how much more he could take. Ok he wasn't abused or tortured in any way shape or form but he was more worried about his team. He hoped that he was right in saying they were not in this but there was that nagging doubt. The party had died a few hours after the gunshots and all was quiet Jack pretended to be asleep when the guard came in to check on him before closing the door and locking it.

"O'Neill, Oi wake up. Colonel two L's." Mary said Jack woke up to be disoriented

"Mary? What's wrong?" Jack asked waking instantly Mary helped him up to his feet,

"Hurry we don't have much more time before Mr. Hermann will wake the guards took forever to go to sleep. Quickly follow me." Mary said she led him out of the room to a well built house of bricks that had many rooms built in the hut reminded him of Daniel's first apartment from his return from Abydos. Mary went to the room second to the right and motioned him to follow her, when they got into the room Jack saw a device that would make Carter and Daniel green with envy. From what he could tell it was a Goa'uld device as it was decorated in gold, it looked like one of those merry-go-round eggs that had hollow doors around it. Upon closer inspection he could see Goa'uld writing on it.

"I take it you have seen one before?" Mary asked when Jack opened up the crystal bay.

"I know the design techniques of the race that built these." Jack replied Mary came to see what he was doing.

"Wow, why is that crystal black not vibrantly coloured like the rest?" Mary asked

"Because its burnt out and needs to be repaired." Jack exclaimed "You don't have any spares do you?" Mary shook her head.

"I'm not supposed to know about this, my job is translator, cook, maid, and other duties not electronics." Mary replied

"Why did you show me this?" Jack asked Mary shrugged and replied

"This was where I found MacGyver before he was looking at this intrigued by the design he touched a few of these symbols and also complained of pins and needles and we experienced a power outage. He touched it again I was called away by Mr. Hermann and I'm assuming that is when you arrived as Maddy was gone by the time you arrived." Mary replied. Ahh a teleportation device or communication? What would the Goa'ulds want with this? As far as they were concerned Alternate Realities never exist.

"I'm hoping that at night we can work on a way to get you back to your home." Mary replied.

"I don't think so young lady." Hermann said behind them seconds before they were bith knocked out.

A/N well that's chapter 2 up please bear with me as I try to upload this, I'm sorta learning as I go. Also I am hoping to update soon but I have end of year 12 (HSC) exams but I hope to update frequently as this is my stress reliever. E.