Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Warning: I have tried a different writing style so it may be a bit confusing, but please bear with me here.
This one-shot was written for amusement sake and is dedicated to my friend, imiwayume, who dedicated her story, Twenty Things, to me. So thanks, imiwayume, for the awesome story.
"Come on, Sakura! It's been two years and you still can't speak to him. What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing," she sighed, "it's just weird is all."
"...because you slept with him?"
Her face turned hot. "No...yes..."
"Why? I've had sex with seven guys, but I don't ignore them like the plague."
"Ino, you don't understand. The things I let him do, the way I let him manipulate me," she shook her head. "It's weird, and I don't avoid him like the plague. I try my best to be somewhere where he isn't is all. Don't roll your eyes!"
"You say he manipulated you?"
She dabbed her index fingers together. "Okay so maybe he didn't, but he had a power over me and thinking back to how I acted around him makes me sick to my stomach. I was so in blindly in love with him that whatever he said I did. I was pathetic, and seeing him brings back those memories. I don't want to remember that."
"We all have past mistakes. Think positive, Sakura; you learned a life lesson, right?"
Grudgingly, "Yes. Please, don't look so happy, Ino. I'm freaking out here!"
"So what? You're going on a mission with him, what's the big deal? You two may have hot, dirty, sweaty sex but who hasn't?"
"Sasuke," she remarked brightly.
"I'll give you that one. He's too stiff. I mean like stick up the ass stiff."
"Thank you. And you do make a good point about Sasuke."
"So," she commented, "what's your next mission?"
"Did I tell you?" Sakura shook her head in reply. "I'm on vacation which means..."
She covered her ears. "I don't want to hear your dirty habits, Ino."
"Grow up. It's nothing that you haven't done or see before. By the way, how was Kakashi in bed? You never answered my question two years ago now that I think about it."
She blushed. "D-Don't ask me that, Ino."
"Buuuut I've told you how every one I'm with is! Sooo nooot fair."
"Well," she said sardonically, "I don't believe in kissing and telling. Plus, we all know how much Kakashi cherishes his privacy."
"Except when he was with you."
"Don't remind me, please."
"Come on, girl. I bet he's sexy as hell under that mask and you're the only one I know who knows what he looks like underneath that mask and pants of his. You have to tell me."
Sakura crossed her arms. "As much as I don't like the man, I do respect his wishes for privacy."
"If he asked you out again would you accept?"
"Not even for one night?"
"What do you think I am, Ino? An easy woman? The answer is no, no, no, and NO!"
"Alright. Alright. Calm down and don't try to hit me, violent one."
"Then stop bringing up questions about him."
"Buuuuut I'm curiouuus."
"Then you go do him. I honestly wouldn't care."
"Wouldn't you though?"
"NO!" Sakura's face reddened. "Don't laugh at me, Ino."
"Sorry. Sorry. You're just so funny when you get all mad. It's hilarious."
"It's not good for my nerves, Ino. I'm not here for your amusement, I came for advice."
"Because you have a week long mission with your ex-sensei who then turned into your ex-lover and is now a man who you avoid at all cost. Is that what you wanted advice on?"
Exasperated. "Yes! Now we're getting somewhere."
"I say fuck 'im."
Sakura chocked. "What!...In which way do you mean?"
"Why both, my dear."
"NO!" Sakura started pacing around the room.
"That's all the advice I have, Sakura."
"Maybe I should ask Tenten," she drifted off in thought.
"The weapons' master? She doesn't know anything beyond weapons and Neji."
Sakura's face fell. "And you don't know anything beyond sex."
"Well it is an interesting topic and a good ice breaker, if you know what I mean."
"Don't nudge me, I get it. I get it! I sometimes think that you're a man in disguise."
"I sure hope not."
"You always think about sex," Sakura continued.
"I swear one day you're going to need psychological help."
"I'll chance it."
"What are your children going to think of you?"
"Not planning on them any time soon."
"What do you're parents think of you?"
"I try not to think about that."
"What do your team mates think of you?"
She blinked and stopped talking. "Yes?"
"Stop ranting. My ears hurt."
"Don't be so bitter."
"I can't help but be bitter!" she exclaimed. "That Tsunade set me up on this mission just to annoy the hell out of me. I bet she's up there in her tower right now laughing maliciously at my expense. I knew I shouldn't have stolen the last of her sweets. Why did I let Naruto dare me into doing that stupid prank?"
"Live and learn, Sakura. Live and learn."
"I hate Naruto so much right now." she clenched her fist.
Sakura sighed. "Ino, seriously, I don't think I can handle this."
"Sue you can. You're a different person than you were two years ago, Sakura. Just don't fall for Kakashi again."
"That won't be hard," Sakura snorted.
"Not even if he whips it out right in front of you?"
She laughed hard. "Whatever. He wouldn't whip it out, as you say. He never shows his face so what makes you think he would show that?"
Sakura rolled her eyes.
"It happens, Sakura. Believe me. I've been there, done that."
"In what manner?" she asked cynically.
"I'm glad your catching on, Forehead. I'm proud of your progress."
"Kakashi is hot though, Sakura. You have to admit that."
"I'm not admitting anything, Ino."
"So you are still attracted to him. I see why you're hesitant now."
"Ino, I don't know why I talk to you."
"I could ask myself the same thing only regarding you. You're such a prude."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"Then how many guys have you been with since Kakashi? Hmm...?"
"Bull shit, Sakura. You've been with zero. I know. I keep count, my friend."
"So what if I don't have constant sex. I think that it should be shared between only two people who loved each other."
"...Whoa, I almost believed you there."
Sakura stomped her foot. "I do mean what I said, Ino."
"Wow, that's deep, Sakura. I would be so desperate if I was you. Two years without sex...I mean…wow."
"I really could care less. Besides Kakashi's performance didn't exactly leave me thirsting for more if you know what I mean."
"Well can't say I do, but since he's right behind you I'll just ask him."
Sakura's faced turned white.
"What's that about thirsting, Sakura?" Kakashi's deep voice sounded off from behind.
Raising her eyes to Ino's laughing ones, Sakura wanted to die. How did she get herself into these messes?
All she could say right now though was that she really hated Naruto right now.
A/N: The ending was abrupt and stupid, but I had fun writing it. I may make more chapters in the future, but from now consider this story done. As for Sakura still having feelings for Kakashi, it is up to you to decide. Is she lying or not:P
Thanks for reading,