TITLE: Tricked


PAIRING: Harm/Singer

CATEGORY: Romance, Humor

TIMELINE: Season 5, from then on AU

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'm baaaaaaack! Sorry for not having posted anything for a while now, but RL is keeping me busy between classes and trying to make the best of nice weather while it still lasts. But I've finally completed this baby and am glad that it's finished so I can dedicate myself to other WIPs I have in the dry dock. This is a fluffy, sappy version of a fic that I will soon start posting. The other fic was actually the original idea, but my romantic side took over big time and this came out.

SUMMARY: Harm agrees to help a young friend and it changes his life.





Harm was doing his paperwork when he glanced at the photo of his family, resting on his desk.

The photo of his wife and their beautiful two children.

A picture-perfect happy, loving family.

'Who would've thought things didn't start out that way? That I was conned into it? But I've never regretted making a big mistake less.'




1457 ZULU



Harm had never felt so silly in his entire life, but he had promised to help out a friend who was in trouble.

Trouble, or no trouble at all, depending on who you asked, was that the friend was about to ask the girl he loved to marry him.

Being 10 years younger than Harm and not very experienced in all things love (he was a shy guy and she was his first girlfriend and a sweetheart from College and he hadn't proposed to a girl ever before) and too nervous to think up anything imaginative he found himself in trouble.

So, he'd asked Harm to help him come up with a creative way of proposing. Harm was really worried about the young man's sanity. Harry Kim had asked him, a bachelor with a bad track record in relationships, for help in trying to figure out a unique way of proposing. How such a smart kid as Harry, who was a computer programmer, couldn't think of a good way by himself was beyond Harm.

'I honestly believe the kid has lost all of his marbles. I just hope he doesn't expect too much of me. I have never proposed to a woman in my whole life and now he expects me to come up with a unique proposal.'

So, both Harm and Harry were working on this little, or not so little, but still extremely important, project. At the end of the proposed timeline they would get together and compare the ideas, with Harry finally deciding on the one he'd like best.

Harm had been trying to put it off for as long as possible, as it was a topic he didn't like to think about. He'd been wanting a wife of his own, actually a family of his own, for a while now.

And every reminder of what he didn't have hurt.

Which is why he was unconsciously trying to put off doing his homework.

But the stalling had come to bite him in the ass. He'd just received an email from Harry, informing him that their schedule was being cut short and they would be meeting that evening.

Harm knew he didn't want to disappoint the young man and so had to come up with some ways to propose, fast.


Which is why Harm was in his office, with his back to the door and muttering to himself.

His mutters were actually the dreaded proposal speeches, vocalized to see how they sound.

He was getting pretty bored, not to mention frustrated, so in his attempt at calming himself down he was trying to think of the most... er... let's say 'unconventional'... ideas he could.

Which meant he'd already tried a Shakespear-like speech in Shakespear English, a proposal in Arabic and Farsi (he checked to see that Mac wasn't anywhere near, he liked to keep his knowledge of the language a secret; his friends didn't have to know everything about him, it is always good to have an ace up the sleeve) in which he'd offered the father of the bride 300 camels for her; a speech in Vietnamese (a remnant of his 1980 summer 'vacation' which consisted of learning to use, strip, clean and re-assemble the Automat Kalashnikov 47, how to kill a grown man with his bare hands, read tracks, the laws of jungle combat; and of course the practical application of all the things he'd learned from Colonel Stryker and from others in the group, including the hand-to-hand killing; no-one except for Cheggwidden knew that Harm was a better killing machine with his 20 years of experience than any active Force Recon member, and no ordinary Marine would even pose any kind of a challenge), a French proposal (his mother's fault for making sure he spoke French, since it's the language of culture, art,...); Spanish (Maria Elena Carmelita Moreno Guttierez's fault for making him learn the language; they did spend the time, when pretending to be a couple, on something good, language lessons being one of those things), Russian (his previous inability of speaking the language the first time he and Mac had been to Russia was like a sore thumb for him and one he was determined to eradicate; he wasn't perfect in the language yet, but he at least knew how to have simple conversations), Scottish Gaelic (comes from his family line, father's side) and now he was trying out the plain, old English. Or the bastard child of the English language, the American English.

He was quite on a roll by now, completely forgetting his work and everything else, waxing poetics and trying to outdo himself in making up the most ridiculous speeches.

"So, you little, hot momma," he drawled and waggled his eyebrows suggestively, trying to imitate Elvis "what do you say about making this old hound an honest man?"

He shook his head, not happy with that one. Then he brightened and spread his arms wide, glad he had closed the door and drew the blinds before he'd make himself a fool before the whole staff.

"Oh, my dear beloved, I sit here before you, a slave of my own heart, that beats only for you, asking of you to grant your humble servant the greatest honor of this world, by consenting to become my wife, the new Mrs. Rabb."

"I accept." came suddenly an amused female voice from the doorway, causing Harm to whirl around in surprise.

There stood Lt. Loren Singer with a truly smug and evil grin on her pouty, red lips.

Harm had never been more terrified in his life than he was right now.