"If anyone's going to donate bone marrow to her, it's going to be me. I don't care what the doctors think but I'm going to!" I yelled. I clenched my fists. This will ease the guilt.
Mikan has been in the Cancer Center for a week now, and not getting any better. I was alone in the apartment, looking at the wall clock – waiting for the awaited day of my donation. I stared at the new cigarette box I bought the other day, and I sighed and tossed it in the trash bin.
I emptied my refrigerator that was filled with beer. I'm going to start all over.
I remembered the time I ran her over. That was a painful memory, and I hate it coming back to me every time I think of her. My trash can was now filled with full boxes of cigarettes and empty beer bottles.
All of a sudden, my cell phone rang. The caller was my dad. I answered it.
"Hello, Natsume. I spoke to the doctors"
"Yeah? What did they say?"
"They said yes"
There was a pause between the two of us.
"Are you sure you're up for it?"
"How many times do I have to say: yeah??"
"It's a painful process. They have to extract the bone marrow from your bones"
"Yeah well, I don't care…when am I going to donate the bone marrow?"
Next week was too long. She was suffering, damn it. What if she passes away tonight? Next week isn't good enough.
"Natsume, you have to check if there's a match between Mikan and your bone marrow" my dad said, after a long pause. "If there's no match, then I'm sorry. We'll have to look for somebody else"
I turned off my cell phone.
Days passed, and luckily – my bone marrow had a match with hers. A week later, I was scheduled for the operation.
"Natsume," the doctor said, as I lay on the operation table – nervous but I could do this. I felt this was the debt I had to pay. Doctors surrounded me and different operating tools. The sound of the life support system put tension into my head. "We're going to put in the anesthesia". I nodded and saw them insert it in the oxygen tube. "We're going to count to ten, if you're still awake by ten – we'll have to do it without anesthesia" So what? I don't care.
I woke up in a hospital bed, the sun was shining on my face. There was a nurse by my side and I had dextrose inserted in my palm.
"You got dehydrated. So we're hydrating you"
I nodded, I was so tired. I had a big headache and I felt like I haven't slept in days. "Where's she?" I asked.
"You mean Ms. Sakura?"
"She's having her operation now"
"How long have I been in this room?"
"Two days. You were just sleeping, I guess the operation was too much for you. But it was successful"
Time passed, and I was starting to get nervous. How come the doctors haven't said anything to me? Damn it. I was getting impatient, a day later a doctor entered my hospital room. My stitches were healing by then and I was fully hydrated, but they still wanted to keep me in.
"Where's Mikan?" I asked.
He looked at me. WAS SHE DEAD?!?!? SHE DIDN'T MAKE IT?!?!!?
"Do you really want to know?"
Four months later
A banner laid on the restaurant wall: SAKURA FUNERAL RECEPTION.
"Natsume,". I turned around and smiled. "What?"
"Are you sad?"
"I don't even know the person" I smirked.
"Hey, tell you what – after this…let's go to the horseback riding place. I mean…this funeral of my grandfather is SO BORING"
Might you ask, who was I talking to?
She brought hope into the world. Regardless of leukemia, regardless of her blindness…yeah…
I was talking to Mikan.
She wasn't sick.
She wasn't sad.
She was still blind of course.
But she was mine.