Disclaimer: Here, let me check and see if I own any rights to Stargate or Stargate Atlantis. Well, what do you know, my imaginary lawyer friend has informed me that no matter how much I may love them, that doesn't constitute ownership. Damn, and here I thought it would. However, he also informs me that Doctor Lydia Winter, in all her nutty, barmey glory is mine...allllll mine. Seems a fair enough trade off to me. ;D

Behold! The triumphant return of everyone's favorite borderline homicidal, quirky original character, Doctor Lydia Winter!

It also marks my return to writing a story without any kind of plot in mind beforehand. The first chapter came to me in a dream (stfu, I know how hokey that sounds) and I had to commit it to paper...so to speak. Regardless of the fact I have no idea where it's going. Yay for flying by the seat of your pants!

Just a tip, you might want to go read 'Retribution!' first before you read this. I'm going to try and make this a self contained story so that it's not neccessary for you to read that one first, but I don't know how that will work out. You know...like I never know how anything else I do will work out.

At least I'm consistent, right? Anyways...enjoy, and if there's anything that you'd like to see happen to our beloved Doc Winter, just let me know and I'll try to toss it in here somewhere.

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I must have the world's worst luck.

Born under a bad star, taken one too many walks under one too many a ladder, opened an umbrella indoors once too often...something like that.

Now under ordinary circumstances, I'm not the least bit superstitious (or stupidstitious, as I prefer to say) but in this instance, I can't find any other explanation for my current predicament.

Seriously, how else do you account for the fact that Doctor Kavanaugh is leaving Atlantis on the same trip that I am?

Alright, I could have handled it if we were just going to be on the Daedelus at the same time, it's a big ship and I could've easily avoided him the whole voyage, but he's on the same Puddle Jumper that's taking me to the Daedelus.

Now Puddle Jumpers are pretty roomy, but unless I suddenly develop the ability to render myself invisible, there's no way to avoid the man.

So I'll just be over here reading 'Leauge Of Extrordinary Gentlemen' for the third time, ignoring the fact that he exists.

That's right, I was sent off with some of the most informative textbooks in the known universe, many of which I've never read before, and I'm rereading a comic book instead.

Old habits, my friends, old habits...

See, throughout my elementary school years, I always got distracted from...well, pretty much everything whenever a shiny new comic book was involved in the equation.

Listen to my teacher drone on for an hour about the Spanish-American war or crack open a new issue of Catwoman.

Hmm...decisions, decisions.

Sorry, am I getting nostalgic? I didn't mean to. I guess it's just the fact I'm going home...Atlantis is nice, but it sure ain't Earth. I can't wait to get home.

Anyways, I'm about to get to my favorite part in LOEG (right when the Invisible Man is dancing about in a Policeman's uniform, shouting 'Oh good heavens, he's killed a constable!'...it just looks funny...a constable's outfit dancing all on it's own) when Kavanaugh suddenly decides to strike up a conversation with me.

Note to self: Look into developing personal cloaking devices as a means of avoiding people I don't want to talk to. Could make a fortune from the High School Reunion circuit alone.

If I haven't mentioned this before, Doctor Kavanaugh is a dreadful conversationalist. Hasn't the sense God gave a rock when it comes to things like common courtesy, or polite conversation.

This time around, he's decided to enlighten me on the finer points of insulting Doctor Weir's leadership skills.

Look, I've got no love for the woman, as often as she's scolded me or stuck me with McKay (though that doesn't bother me quite so much anymore) but I don't go around engaging in Weir-bashing behind her back. I respect her even if I don't neccessarily like her.

And my dislike of her just might come from my inborn dislike of authority figures in general.

"And you know what else she's done, Lydia?"

Oh, but were I a less moral person I would toss him out the airlock and watch the vacuum of space rip his eyes from his skull.

Wow...I've seen Total Recall one too many times...I know that would never happen and yet, I have this odd desire to see such an event occur if Kavanaugh is the victim.

Gruesome.

"Hey, Lydia?"

Wince. "What?"

"When we get back to Earth, back at the SGC, you think you wanna grab lunch sometime?"

Ugh...

I'm starting to miss McKay already.

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A/N:La la la...I hate Kavanaugh. Does it show? Somehow, I highly doubt Kavanaugh would ever dare to ask anyone out, but there's this part of me that thinks he just might be sleezy enough to do it. God have I missed writing for Lydia. She's just the breath of fresh air I need whilst Ihave writers block for When Plot Bunnies Attack. I should be updating things much more regularly, since I have internet again 'till mid-December. That ALSO means I'll be able to reply to all my reviews from now on! WOO! Thanks so much for sticking by me you guys, and like I said before, if there's anything you want to see in this fic (or any others, for that matter) just let me know. I'll do my best to work it in there!

As usual, Lydia is up for grabs. You want her in your story? Well, use her. Just try to keep her in character and let me know if you use her so that I can read the story she's made an appearance in.