Title:"B19 - Sideways Through Time"
Author: 'A Gentleman Of Leisure'.
Summary: In which our friends meet some old enemies, and Marvin is even more depressed. Nothing new there then!
Story Type:Buffybot/Dr Who/H2G2/Dan Dare crossover. The next part of my series 'The Long Way Round'.
Rating overall: G. (or K+ if you insist)
Spoilers:None, if you've got this far!
Distribution/Archiving:Ask first please.
Disclaimer:No one here belongs to me - I've just borrowed them. All other Patents, Trademarks and Copyrights acknowledged. Thank you.
"B19 - Sideways Through Time".
(the sequel to "Here, There and Everywhere".)
by 'A Gentleman Of Leisure'.
Author's Note 1:
The timelines for this series of stories - "The Long Way Round" - are by now rather complicated and may therefore need explaining. Thus:
1. For the Buffybot this story and the preceding ones are an offshoot from BTVS Series 6, Episode 2.
2. For the Doctor this is an as-yet unrecorded adventure which takes place during his fourth incarnation at a time when he has no human companions.
3. For Marvin, it is taking place between the end of the Primary Phase of the 'Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy' (Original Radio Version), and the Second Phase; i.e. some time between Fit the Sixth, and Fit the Seventh, when he arrives in the foyer of the offices of the Guide on Ursa Minor Beta, to be met by Zaphod Beeblebrox, and...
4. For Dan Dare it takes place between his first known adventure - 'Dan Dare, Pilot of the Future', and his second recorded adventure - 'The Red Moon Mystery'.
For information on Colonel Dare go here -
http/ "Dan Dare" for a choice of sites.
Now read on...
PART 1."The Girl With No Name".
When the three time travellers stepped out of the TARDIS into the transit hall of Space Station SFJ2, in orbit round the planet Mars, eyes widened, every mouth gaped in astonishment, and suddenly there was absolute silence. For a moment you could have heard a pin drop on the far side of the Solar System. Not surprising really - first came Marvin, wearing a pink silk tutu and tap shoes, next came the Doctor, dressed in his usual favourite battered hat, old brown coat and floor-length, moth-eaten scarf, and last was the Buffybot, wearing just her jewellery and a big friendly smile.
And Colonel Daniel McGregor Dare, senior pilot of Earth's Space Fleet, celibacy in every fibre of his being, not knowing where to look - 'upstairs, downstairs, or...' wherever, so to speak, blushed a deep, deep scarlet.
"I can't believe you're only a robot," said Professor Jocelyn Peabody a few minutes later. "You're absolutely perfect in every detail. It's a good thing we're roughly the same size," she added as she handed the Buffybot a tee-shirt and slacks from her suitcase.
They were in her cabin aboard the Earth-Mars liner 'Britannia' in which young Professor had only just arrived at the space station. She was on her way down to the surface of the Red Planet to take part in experiments in growing Earth plants to try to increase the oxygen content of the planet's atmosphere.
"Technically I'm actually an android. I was created by a very clever man," the Buffybot explained. "Wicked, but clever. I was made to look exactly like one particular real human being. Her name was Buffy, but she died. It's all really rather complicated," she added plaintively. She paused and looked a trifle bewildered as a memory came flashing back.
"At least, she was dead, but I'm almost certain I saw her again just before the demons pulled me to pieces. And then I died."
Though confused herself, Jocelyn Peabody knew better than to interrupt. After a moment the Buffybot continued, a little more cheerfully.
"Then the Doctor arrived and rescued me, and revived me. He reassembled me, and he and Marvin upgraded me."
"So, what's your name, then?"
The Buffybot looked at her new friend in surprise.
"I'm just the Buffybot - a robot Buffy. Everybody calls me that - I don't have any other name." She stopped and looked puzzled, as if the idea had never occurred to her before that moment. "Do you think I should have one of my own?"
Jocelyn Peabody adjusted the Buffybot's belt and studied her carefully. She saw a perfectly realistic representation of a blonde girl in her late teens, and it was almost impossible to believe that this was really just an incredibly complex mechanism that had been built by another human being. So far as she knew, the technology needed to do this far outstripped anything the people of Earth were capable of, and she was sure that neither of the two intelligent races on Venus would have bothered. She wished her speciality was in something more technical than bio-nutrition, but there must be experts somewhere that she could consult.
"Yes. Why ever not? You could choose one for yourself, you know, if you wanted," she suggested cautiously.
"Mais, c'est incroyable - my dear Dan, it is unbelievable," exclaimed Major Pierre Lafayette, the space station's commanding officer, waving his arms about in typical, classic French fashion. "You tell me you and Deegby found zem in zis thing, zis 'police box', floating about in space? But it is imposseeble. Zair is not even room for three people in zair! And 'ow did zey get zair in ze first place?"
"Absolutely true, Pierre, my old chum, I assure you. It was just drifting about, looking as if it had been pushed out of a passing space ship like so much rubbish. I don't understand it myself - the thing can't even be airtight, surely?"
"Yes it is, not that it matters in the least to me, since I have no use for the stuff," said a gloomy voice behind them, making them both jump. It was Marvin. "And please don't call me Shirley. I'm getting sick of it!"
The two senior Space Fleet officers stared at the robot.
"So where did you come from, and how did you get here?" asked Colonel Dare.
"Me? Oh, I know you wouldn't really be interested - anyway it would take far too long to explain. As for the Doctor, well, you'd better ask him - after all it is his TARDIS."
"What is zis TARDIS, Monsieur robot? And 'ow can you all fit inside? Surely it is not beeg enough in zair?"
"Ask the Doctor," Marvin replied morosely, and started to wander away as if already bored with a conversation that was obviously about to start repeating itself. "And stop calling me Shirley!" he added over his shoulder as he receded. "It's getting rather depressing!"
"But what's his name?" Dan Dare called after him. "What do we call him, this doctor - Doctor who?"
"Precisely," Marvin's enigmatic reply came floating back to them across the central concourse of the space station.
"So where have you all come from, Buffybot?" asked the Professor.
"I was made in the USA. You know - America - Earth. I expect you can tell that from my accent, but the Doctor is from another planet altogether. He told me it's called Gallifrey, but I'm not sure how far away it is, or exactly where. There are lots of other planets, too - I've been to quite a few since I joined him and Marvin."
"That's the other, strange robot, isn't it? Why on Earth have you dressed it like that?"
The Buffybot laughed. "He chose to do that himself, in protest."
"I don't think I understand. In protest? At what?"
"At being nicknamed Shirley, of course".
The young Professor sat down on her bunk and buried her face in her hands, trying to take it all in.
"So let me get this straight - the person calling himself the Doctor is an alien? And he calls his robot Shirley?"
"Oh, no," the Buffybot interrupted. "Marvin, or Shirley, isn't his robot. He's even more intelligent than the Doctor, and he's from somewhere else entirely."
Jocelyn Peabody shook her head, suddenly feeling rather tired. After a moment she clenched her jaw, forced herself to gather her mental faculties together, to sit up straight and to try again.
"But you're from Earth. America. And these things you called demons, that killed you - do you know what planet they come from?"
"Oh, they aren't aliens from another planet," the Buffybot told her, a little surprised. "They really are demons, just like in the stories - and they are from other dimensions. And that's my job - to fight and slay vampires and demons. Mainly vampires, of course, but demons too."
"Vampires? Oh, but of course - I should have guessed!" exclaimed the Professor, leaning back and laughing weakly.
"Oh, yes," the Buffybot said gravely. "After all, I was... I am... an exact copy of the real Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
"No, that's the Doctor," said the Buffybot carefully.