Sexy Kunoichi Techniques by Trisar Alvein

A result of staying up way too late without the stimulating effects of caffeine. This is why I don't leave the house. I'm obviously clinically insane, and no one else knows it yet.


Ryoga glared at his most hated nemesis. It wasn't uncommon that he did it. In fact, one could almost call Ryoga glaring at Ranma 'mundane,' 'boring,' or even 'normal.' Of course, nine out of ten of the encounters, it usually started off with Ryoga charging forward, yelling out an inarticulate battle cry and attacking Ranma from a random direction.

This was one of the slippery one of ten.

To wit, Ranma wasn't even in his birth form. No, it was a rather cute and fairly buxom redhead who was calmly, casually staring back at Ryoga from across the Tendos' backyard. On the sidelines, or at least on the back porch of the Tendo home, Kasumi Tendo watched with worry while her younger sister Nabiki watched with what could only be described as fascination. The youngest of the Tendos, along with the parental figures, were absent from this display.

A growl from the fanged boy drew attention. "Ranma," he rumbled. "I've got a new technique I've been just itching to try out on you."

"Well, hey, how about that? So do I!" replied the redhead, beaming brightly. "Show me what you've got."

Of course, Ryoga was no fool. He knew if he used the new technique right off, Ranma might be caught off guard. On the other hand, the redhead was prepared for the unusual now, which could spell disaster even if the technique worked the way it should. He couldn't take that risk.

Instead, he charged, fist pulled back for his devastating opening punch, even as he bellowed, "TAKE THIS, RANMA!"

As expected, Ranma-chan ducked away from the punch, spinning slightly and snaking within the lost boy's defenses. Her slim hands took hold of his face, giving her time to say, "I'd rather take these," before giving him a quick peck on the lips.

Wide-eyed and red as a tomato, Ryoga leapt away, gawking at the redhead. "Gah, you...! How dare you...! Gack!"

"Sneak Up and Crimson Hell Attack revised, Sexy Kiss Level One, Distraction," grinned Ranma. "Wanna go again?" she continued, winking.

"For that embarrassment... EAT THIS!" following his yell, Ryoga swung a powerful fist at Ranma, who danced aside.

"No thanks! Sexy Kiss Level Two, Sensuality!" Putting action to words, Ranma-chan took Ryoga's face in her hands again, once more kissing him, but this time nibbling on his lips as she pulled away.

"AUGH!" Ryoga leapt back again, his face completely red. "You little...!"

"Not enjoying it?" Ranma almost looked hurt. She fluttered her eyelashes, posing slightly. "Okay, one more, then."

In reponse, Ryoga did something he rarely did. He took up a defensive stance, geared to guarding his face. "I'm ready now! You won't catch me this time!"

"We'll see." With no further warning, Ranma jumped to the attack. Ryoga reached out to catch her wrist, but missed when she twitched aside. Instead, he caught something considerably softer that seemed to mold into the shape of his palm. His body locked up when he realized he'd just caught hold of one of Ranma-chan's sizable breasts, his addled brain providing imagery based on what had just recently happened.

Taking advantage of the sudden system shock, Ranma-chan draped an arm over Ryoga's neck, then gave him an incredibly passionate kiss, even going as far as to slip her tongue into his mouth. Ten seconds after the kiss began, Ryoga promptly teetered, then fell over backwards, blood leaking from his nose.

"Sexy Kiss Final Level, Seduction," intoned Ranma with a smirk.

On the back porch, Nabiki could only shake her head. "So, what's worse? The fact that he learned these 'techniques' from a boy, the techniques themselves, or the fact that he only did it because Akane bet him he couldn't beat Ryoga without hurting him?" she mused.

"Oh dear, I suppose I should get something to help Ryoga-kun clean up..."

"Well, who cares. This picture is gonna SELL," chuckled the middle Tendo, staring with unbridled delight at the camera she'd just snapped a hell of a picture with.

It actually took considerable effort on her part to NOT cackle maniacally.


I make no excuses for this. I have no reason for doing this. I just wanna cry now. Or hide under my bed.

I was BORED, for crying out loud.