Konnichiwa Minna-san! Since I made you wait for two weeks for Chapters of my other two series, I decided to put up my very first CCS songfic. I used a song by Madonna that fit the fic perfectly, so I hope it turned out okay.
This little songfic takes place about four or five years after Syaoran went back to Hong Kong. He hasn't yet returned to Japan and Sakura is still waiting for him (also, neither have admitted their feelings to the other). She finds herself at King Penguin Park, thinking and reminiscing about the times they had together.
Disclaimer: I don't own CCS, I never have and sadly never will. I don't own the song "This Used to be My Playground". It belongs to Madonna and whatever music company.
Dedication: This is dedicated to my koishii, Joeru-kun. I'll always remember the good times we had, even though they were few. I hope to someday get closer to you, and until then, I'll wait for you. My heart belongs to you, now and always.
Okay, on with the fic! Recollections and lyrics are italicized. And reviews are 100% appreciated! Please spare one if you have a minute or two!
Forever Yours: Since Before I Could Remember
A young sixteen-year-old girl with short auburn hair and emerald-like eyes wandered aimlessly. The sun was setting from its long day and shedding reds, golds, pinks and purples across the once-azure sky.
Kinomoto Sakura found herself taking this familiar path often, but mostly on accident. The promenade that would always come to a rest at the park.
King Penguin Park.
Entering the now-vacant park entrance, she gazed around at her surroundings sadly, as all the old memories floated back to her mind.
This used to be my playground
(used to be)
This used to be my childhood dream
She could clearly see a younger version of herself wearing a funny-looking costume, firmly gripping a pink staff and chasing something into the night. She could see her best friend Tomoyo Daidouji, taping her every move with a large smile plastered onto her kind face.
And the stoic-faced boy, roughly her age, dressed in green, orange and gold Chinese robes, not a foot behind. The one and only Li Syaoran.
They were an odd bunch, but they always stuck together. The unbeatable Card Captor team and the loyal videographer.
The images slowly faded and she sighed, gazing longingly into the far distance.
"Syaoran..." she whispered, feeling her eyes begin to burn with unshed tears, "Why did you leave?"
This used to be the place I ran to
Whenever I was in need of a friend
Why did it have to end?
Shaken by the past, a single tear weaved a lonesome path down her cheek, pausing only a moment to hang on the tip of her chin before falling, forgotten, to the ground below.
Another memory eased its way into her conscience, recreating an all too familiar scene. One of her and the warrior who unknowingly captured her heart.
"Sakura? What's wrong?" Syaoran asked.
Sakura lowered her head, letting the crystalline tears fall freely as she sat upon the swing. "I told Yukito-san that I loved him."
He backed up for a moment, surprised by her confession, then stepped forward and handed her his handkerchief. "Don't cry."
She stood up, accepting his kind offering. "Yukito said...that I didn't really love him...that it was the kind of love I have for my father." she sobbed, "He said that...there was someone else he loves..."
Syaoran wrapped his arms around her, donating a friendly hug. Accepting, Sakura held his handkerchief tightly between her trembling hands, leaning her head against his shoulder.
"Yukito-san said...I would find the person I love the most...and they will love me back..."
The Chinese boy rested his head on hers, closing his eyes. "You will definitely find that person, Sakura." he promised.
Sakura enveloped her arms over her slim shoulders, shuddering as if she were cold. But it was a warm summer evening, without a single trace of wind.
"You will definitely find that person......" the voice echoed through her mind.
She hugged herself, trying to hold onto the feeling of warmth he gave her that evening. Trying to hold on to what little of him was left in Japan.
And why do they always say
Don't look back
"Come back..." she whispered, outlining the dissipating horizon with her fingers, "Come back to me...onegai..."
She forced back the new flood of tears, balling her fists. "YOU'RE THE PERSON I LOVE THE MOST SYAORAN!!! ONEGAI, COME BACK!" she shouted, new tears racing down every which way.
Keep your head held high
Don't ask them why
Because life is short
And before you know
You're feeling old
And your heart is breaking
She couldn't take it anymore. She fell to her knees, crying and sobbing uncontrollably.
'Syaoran will never come back.' her mind mocked, 'He doesn't need you. He has Hong Kong, he has his family, and he has Meiling. It's time for you to move on Sakura, forget him......'
"I can't..." she weeped, burying her face in her hands, "I could never..."
'He left you......' the voice continued, 'He left you all alone.......'
She tried to push the voice away. "No....he promised. He promised to come back."
'And where is he? After four years, where is he?' her mind challenged.
She stood up and sauntered toward the old set of swingsets. The same ones that had been there ever since she could remember. 'He's in Hong Kong...'
Don't hold onto the past
Well that's too much to ask
Setting herself down on the swing, she looked up, only to see another illusional image of years ago...
"C'mon Sakura!" the dark-haired male Card Captor called, pointing off into the distance, "The Clow Card is this way! Hurry and seal it!"
"I'm coming!" Sakura answered as cheerfully as ever, hurrying to catch up with her partner, "Wait up, Li-kun!"
She reached an eager hand out toward them, but they just disappeared into thin air, the mirage lost.
And leaving her alone once again.
Live and learn
While the years they flow
And we never knew
We were foolish then
We would never tire
Tomoyo was deeply worried about her. Sakura knew that. But no matter what her friends did to cheer her up, she would never be the same again.
And she never even scrounged up enough courage to say those three little words.
The amber-eyed boy turned around at the familiar twang of her voice, placing his luggage on the airport floor. "Sakura...you came."
She flung herself at him, hugging him for what she thought may be the last time. "I'm going to miss you so much, Syaoran." she whispered, a few stray tears crawling down her pale face.
Syaoran wiped them away, almost tenderly, resting a hand on the side of her face. "I'll be back, Sakura."
She gasped, pulling back to meet his eyes. "You're coming back?"
He nodded. "I promise."
"Then I'll wait for you, Syaoran." she decided, "I'll wait for you."
A loudspeaker announced the last call for his flight, and Syaoran picked up his bags, pausing only long enough to give one last smile to Sakura. "Ja."
Sakura stepped forward, her heart beating wildly inside her. "S-Syaoran!" she called.
He looked over his shoulder. "Hai?"
The words tried to surface through her throat. "I......I......I..."
"I-I hope you have a safe trip." she finished, silently berating herself for her cowardice.
And then he left her, boarding the plane destined for his homeland.
"I'll wait for you." Sakura repeated, overseeing as the plane lifted off and vanished from sight.
And she still waited to this day. I didn't matter how many times her friends would urge her to move on, to find someone new. She remained true to her promise. Even now...four years later, she was still awaiting his return.
And that little fire
Is still alive within me
It will never go away
Can't say goodbye
(can't say goodbye)
She would wait for him forever if she had to, as long as it took. There was still that miniscule bit of hope that he would keep his promise, and that hope kept her alive.
Li Syaoran would never break a promise. She believed in him with everything she was, and more. She was certain she would be able to gaze at his stature once again, lose herself in his deep amber eyes, run a hand through his cinnamon locks...
It was killing her inside, being apart from him. She became more frail, distant, introverted, and alone. He had taken her heart with him, even if he never knew how she felt.
That was her most mountainous mistake.
Perhaps if she had spilled her amorous feeling out to him, admitted openly about the feeling she kept lodged within, then maybe she wouldn't be here now. Waiting and longing for him. Maybe she would be with him.
'What are you talking about?' her mind questioned rather icily, "You two were maybe distant friends, but he doesn't have feelings like that for you. He only helped you because of the Clow Cards. Not for you....for the cards.'
Sakura sighed dejectedly. That pessimistic region of her conscience was right. Syaoran could at times be a close friend, but he distanced himself from her more often than not. He was somewhat of a loner. And he preferred it that way; close relationships weren't his thing. He didn't have room for love in his life, not hers anyway.
...Should she move on? Had she waited long enough?
She couldn't just give up after already staying true to her vow for four years. He would come back someday. He just had to.
Those damn voices in her head were wrong. Just a bunch of lies, all of them!
But I wish that you
Were here with me
Well then there's hope yet
I can see you face
In our secret place
You're not just a memory
Say goodbye to yesterday
Those are words I'll never say
(I'll never say)
Sakura felt a familiar twinge on her face. There was no use stopping it, for once, she didn't want to. Her lips curled up gently, letting a small, yet soft smile rest upon her features.
For now, she could remember the good times. Capturing Clow Cards, going to school together, changing from rival to friends, and even their special promise sealer.
She lost track of how many times they linked pinkies together, promising one thing or another. It was theirs and theirs alone, no one else could share in that bond. It was like their own little secret.
And she would treasure that forever.
This used to be our playground
(used to be)
This used to be our childhood dream
This used to be the place we ran to
I wish you were standing here with me
The best things in life are always free
Wishing you were here with me
Sakura continued to think back to when he was still around. Frowning, glaring, she didn't care. She would do anything just to hear him call her 'Baka' again. That reminded her of the first day they met, and the battle with the Thunder Card.
The electric bolt of lightning slammed into the glowing ball-like charge, causing it to plummet downward with a wail and revert to its true form.
Sakura stepped forward, nearing the beast, and pulled out the Windy Card.
Syaoran interrupted before she had the chance to release the card. "Baka! The Windy Card won't effect Thunder!" he berated.
"Have you captured the Shadow Card?"
He let a small smile surface. "Okay. RAIDEN SHORAI!!" he yelled, using his Chinese sword to create another charge of fierce lightning at the beast.
The wolf-like Clow Card fell from the building's roof and landed on the ground below. Sakura jumped down to where the Card was coursing in some sort of pain and pulled out the Shadow Card.
"Shadow! Release!" she commanded, slamming her winged staff to the surface of the card. As Shadow was freed from its magical prison, it dove at the Thunder Card and completely engulfed it, seraping it in a tight black mass.
"SHADOW CARD!! THUNDER CARD!! RETURN TO THE GUISE YOU WERE MEANT TO BE!!" Sakura ordered, ramming the pink staff/wand to the black shape.
Magic filled the air, sucking each Thunder and Shadow back into their Card forms, and landing upon the pavement in front of the female Card Captor.
Syaoran came down from the roof a few moments later, stopping for a moment beside Sakura. "You really don't know what you're doing, do you? You're no Card Captor." he stated harshly.
What she wouldn't give for him to scold her now, tell her off and berate her for her lousy Card capturing. Just to hear his voice again would be a dream come true. If he were to return, the endless nightmares would cease once and for all. She would never have to worry again.
For now, she could just swing here in this old park, recollecting upon the dreams of yesterday and wishing for the new ones of tomorrow.
She closed her eyes and wiped away the remnants and streaks of tears. Crying was pointless. She couldn't ease the melancholy pain of being away from him, she had to be strong, just like him, and bear it.
Feeling an abrupt push from behind, she opened her eyes, but didn't bother looking back. She sighed in frustration. "I won't stop waiting for him Tomoyo-chan, ever. You might as well just leave me alone."
"I wouldn't dream of it."
Sakura's emerald eyes broadened greatly. She had waited for years to hear that deep, gruff voice again.
She skidded to a stop and spun around almost immediately, falling off the swing in the process.
Two powerful arms enveloped her petite figure, preventing the impending descent. "Whoa! You were about to take a dive there!"
"Arigato..." Sakura mumbled, still in shock of what was before her.
When she was able to stand straight on her own, the young man disengaged his arms from around her and stood up. "It's been awhile, Sakura. Daidouji-san told me I would find you here."
She finally found the courage to look up at him, feeling her face flush more and more as the seconds past.
The boy she knew from four years back had withdrawn, and now a dashingly handsome young man stood before her. He was much taller, had grown more muscular, and had a well-built physique. But the shaggy cinnamon-chocolate hair remained, obscuring slivers of his beautiful sunset amber eyes behind its locks.
Water sprung to her eyes, clouding the vision in front of her. "I-It's really you." she realized.
He nodded with a smile. "I'm surprised you remember me."
Sakura cast herself at him, folding her arms around him in a hug. "I could never forget you, Syaoran. I'm missed you so so much...." she whimpered, joyous tears flowing down her flushed cheeks.
He wove a hand through her auburn tresses. "I missed you a lot too, Ying Fa."
She pulled back, regarding him quizzically. "Ying Fa?"
His face reddened. "Sakura, or 'Cherry Blossom', means Ying Fa in Chinese."
"Why…why did it take you so long to come back?" she choked.
He sighed in aggravation. "The Clan had a lot of problems with my wishes." he explained, "They wanted me to stay in Hong Kong and marry Meiling so I could take over the duties as leader."
"But you didn't?"
"It took a whole lot of explaining and compromising, but after these past four years, they finally consented. The engagement was broken off, a new, more suited head and guide was selected for the Clan, and I was allowed to return back here, to Japan."
Sakura was astounded by the information he had just voiced. "You broke off your engagement to Meiling? And you gave up your spot as head of the Clan?!"
"But that was your whole life, Syaoran!!"
He balled his hands into fists. "Not the life I wanted, what the Clan wanted." Syaoran corrected.
Sakura faced the ground. "What about Meiling? Wasn't she upset?"
"She got over it." Syaoran stated simply, "After I told her…"
Sakura blinked. "Told her…?"
Syaoran blushed lightly. "Nothing." he finished.
"Oh. So…how long are you visiting Japan?" Sakura asked curiously, changing the subject.
He averted his gaze and red face toward a flock of empty swings. "Well actually…I was hoping that I could stay."
Sakura's eyes bulged. "STAY?! Are you serious, Syaoran?!"
He mocked a pouty face. "Am I not wanted here?"
She pushed him back with her arms. "Mou, Syaoran! Don't say things like that! You know better!"
"Hai, hai." He admitted, chuckling lightly.
"Syaoran, what happened to you?"
She smirked. "I can only remember a few rare occasions where you would smile, much less joke or laugh."
He returned her smirk with a hint of slyness. "I only have one person to thank for that."
She blinked in confusion. "Who?"
Her put her in a tight armlock and gave her a noogie. "You!"
"Me?! What did I do?! Mou, STOP THAT!!"
He ceased his torture upon her noggin and released her from the death grip. "Just the way you are, I guess." he answered honestly, "That darn sunny disposition of yours really rubbed off on me."
Sakura smiled proudly at having corrupted the emotionless, always serious and stoic Chinese warrior. It made her feel oddly special in a way. 'Conquering the feat that no other could accomplish!' her mind joked.
She raised a cunning eyebrow. "What did your family think?"
Syaoran burst out into a fit of laugher. "At first, they thought I wasn't feeling well. Then they thought I was insane." He took a breath from his abstruse rush of words before continuing. "Oh kami…the looks on their faces was priceless! What I wouldn't have given for a camera…"
Sakura regarded him thoughtfully. "You really HAVE changed." she realized.
"And what about you?" he questioned inquisitively, tapping the tip of her nose with his index finger, "What have you been up to all this time?"
"Recalling earlier times…" she replied, somewhat woefully, "Times when you were still here, when we used to capture Clow Cards, of all the days we spent in this park together…"
"But I'm here now." he assured with a very UN-Syaoran-like smile, "Here to stay."
A dismal cloud still hung around her conscience, refusing to be ignored. "I-I still can't comprehend exactly WHY you decided to stay here…" she stammered.
He sighed. "Okay, Sakura. Do you really want to know why I desire to stay?"
She nodded eagerly, then a little more languidly as she realized that he must have had an alternate reason for coming back. Her newly restored heart sank.
Syaoran pushed his shoulders back and took a deep breath, preparing for the most adverse task he could ever face. "I wish to stay here…because I realize something."
He took another breath, feeling his face get warm from his nervousness, beads of perspiration running down his neck and brow. 'Say it Syaoran! Say it before you go insane!'
He lifted his head from facing the grass and met her emerald eyes head on, locking them with his own. "I want to stay because I love you, Sakura."
An anxious, electric charge surfaced within her as her ears grasped his confession. She was paler than an apparition, and in more shock than an earthquake. "You…You what?"
The young Chinese Card Captor stood tall, feeling more courageous now that he'd spoken his most cherished sentience and valued emotion aloud to his heart's fantasy. "I love you." he repeated, more firmly, but with equally more meaning.
Sakura stood dumbfounded by his divulgence, but conducted her voice to speak. "Syaoran…I never knew. If I had…then I would have told you before you left." She paused, unsure of how to deliver the right words.
Closing her eyes for just a tiny moment, she re-secured his amber orbs with hers, smiling affectionately. "I've been in love with you since before I can remember."
The couple embraced almost desperately, their newfound passion and love taking mastery over their movements. They continued to hold each other tightly, as if afraid the other may vanish into thin air at any moment. In the warmth of their loved one's arms, the world seemed to dissipate from around them.
"You'll stay with me?" Sakura questioned, rubbing her right cheek against the soothing fabric of his clean forest-colored shirt, "Forever?"
"Do you really need to ask that?" he interrogated, nuzzling the crown of her head with his chin.
She latched onto his shirt with her fingers, trembling ever so slightly. "I was just afraid that your family may call you back and that you'd…leave me again." she almost sobbed.
"There's no way anything will ever be able to pry me from you, love." he promised, "And my family understands completely."
She looked up at him disconcertedly. "They really understand?" she asked, somewhat like an awed child.
He nodded, squeezing her closer to himself. "I guess they could tell how much I loved you, and realized that there was nothing they could do to prevent it."
Sakura blushed timidly at how openly he was conferring about his feelings. Especially the way he was so tender when he referred to her and what they now shared. It was heart-warming.
She closed her eyes contently and sighed. "I'm glad they understood, I don't know how much longer I could have lived without you."
In a bold and spontaneous gesture, Syaoran lifted her chin up and melded his lips to hers rashly, burning with the fire of his love for her. It lasted for what seemed like ages, standing in amorous liplock together, underneath the watchful eyes of the stars above.
When at last they pulled apart, Sakura was left speechless by his daring maneuver. Only he could find enough breath to speak.
"I'm yours now, Sakura." he stated, giving her a tender, gentle smile, "You don't have to worry about being alone anymore."
She ran her fingers through his dark tufts of cinnamon hair, then traveling down to the side of his face to caress it softly. "I am yours and will be forever yours, Syaoran." she whispered, cupping his face to kiss him mildly, "Forever yours…"
That was my first ever songfic! ^.^ Did it turn out okay? I started off slow, because it was so early in the morning, but I added more description and detail as I went along. It's a nice song too, but kind of sad in a way. Anyways, I hope it was at least slightly enjoyable. ^^; I tried!
Please Review! I'd like to know what you think of my little song ficcy!! ALL comments are welcome! And Arigato for reading (and an extra little hug to everyone who reviews my fics ^^ It means more to me than you can possibly imagine! Arigato, I am eternally grateful!).
I have quite a few more ideas for fics, but I figure that I ought to work on my others first. Maybe I could start one of the new ones…I don't know. I'd feel really bad if I forgot about one of my other fics… What do you think, Minna-san??? Let me know! Arigato again for reading!!! ^.^ ~Manda-chan