Disclaimer: If the show was mine they'd all be eating purple Jell-O.
AN: Unfortunately it seems I am capable of writing a really depressive story. This seriously just popped into my head last night, and I've had a hard time writing it. Was talking to someone over msn and they gave me this idea to make it even sadder! So you've been warned! The song is titled "Sad Lisa" and is sung by Cat Stevens, it is such a beautiful song. Please listen to it if you can.
"How is she?"
"Well she's stopped throwing things and trying to hurt herself, but she's really no better. She hasn't said a thing since she stopped screaming." The man looked through the glass window on the door.
"The rooms a mess." The woman nodded.
"I know, we tried to clean it up but it set her off again. I'm really not sure we should be going in." Jack ran a hand down his face, when did it all go so wrong? They were happy, this wasn't supposed to happen!
"Janet, would…would this have happened if she'd hadn't miscarried the first two?" The doctor shook her head sadly.
"You never can tell what is going to knock a person. This could've happened after the first one, and even if they had never happened, this still could've set her off." Janet didn't know what else to say, everything had been going so well. No one could've known that morning how they would find Sam. The tears threatened again. Ever since that morning the SGC had never been the same, everyone was grim and the brightness had gone. If Sam was a wreck, the rest of the team wasn't far behind. Cassie had taken leave from uni and flown back, Teal'c stopped sleeping as well has he had been, and Daniel had become more lost in his lab than ever before.
"Jack…I know this history isn't the greatest, but there is still nothing concrete to say Sam can't have children. She certainly has no problem conceiving…uh…do you want to go in to her?" Jack nodded and opened the door, stepping over broken glass and furniture to sit down opposite Sam. She stared ahead, unwavering.
She hangs her head and cries on my shirt.
She must be hurt very badly.
Tell me what's making you sad, Li?
Open your door, don't hide in the dark.
You're lost in the dark, you can trust me.
'Cause you know that's how it must be.
Lisa Lisa, sad Lisa Lisa.
Jack's heart broke; Sam had been like this for a week now, her screaming fit only stopping 2 days ago. Now, she just shut off, she didn't communicate or show any awareness of the world around her; she was just a shell. Slowly Jack began to pick up the glass and furniture, moving it away from Sam and into a corner. He'd never thought this would happen; Sam had been down after she miscarried her first two pregnancies, but was adamant to try again. It had been wonderful. Every check-up was fine, and the baby was growing as it should. They'd painted the nursery together- pink-, as the baby was a girl. Even the labor had been fine, but Jack would never forget the look on Janet's face as the baby emerged. She'd gone so pale, and all she could do was raise a teary-eyed face to Jack and softly shake her head.
Rachel was perfect; 10 toes, 10 fingers, 2 eyes and clean skin. The doctors couldn't work out what had happened, for some reason she'd just stopped breathing and died. Rachel had been stillborn. At first Sam seemed ok, well as ok as she could've been. They'd bathed and dressed Rachel, and both held her for a long time. Jack would never forget how small she was, just like a rosebud. The funeral was beautiful, the day a beautiful one in summer. They had cremated Rachel and taken the ashes home.
"Her eyes. I never saw her eyes." Those were the last words Sam had said and the next morning Jack had found her staring at a bottle of pills in the bathroom
Her eyes like windows, trickle in rain
Upon the pain getting deeper.
Though my love wants to relieve her.
She walks alone from wall to wall.
Lost in her hall, she can't hear me.
Though I know she likes to be near me.
Lisa Lisa, sad Lisa Lisa.
Jack tried desperately not to cry, he needed to be strong, if there was to be any hope of Sam recovering. Sam was till staring unmoving, Rachel's hospital band clasped tightly in one hand. He had refused to put her in a padded room and Hammond had agreed for Sam to say in a guest room at the SGC, one that was larger than most. Walking over to the sink, Jack wet a washcloth and gently cleaned Sam's face and arms, washing away the dust and blood from her screaming rage. She didn't blink. Looking around he found the frame of a mirror Sam had obviously smashed. Gathering the pieces he placed the frame between the two of them and began to talk. "It was my first trip through the gate in a long while. I was receiving my orders when this scientist walks in and begins explaining that the fact that her reproductive organs are on the inside instead of the outside, doesn't mean she can't handle whatever I can…
"Doctor?" Janet turned around to face Hammond. "What's the report?" Janet shook her head.
"I can't say sir, at this point I don't know if she'll even come out of this silence. I have no idea how she will recover, if she does, that is. Major Carter needs to be taken off active duty." Hammond sighed, Sam was like a daughter to him and it pained him to see her like this. Not knowing what the outcome would be made it even worse.
"I'll leave her position should she return. Do what you have to Doctor, I don't know if the team, let alone Jack will survive if we lose her to this." With that he turned and walked down the corridor, Janet turning back to watch through the window.
She sits in a corner by the door.
There must be more I can tell her.
If she really wants me to help her.
I'll do what I can to show her the way.
And maybe one day I will free her.
Though I know no one can see her.
Lisa Lisa, sad Lisa Lisa.
Jack had been talking for days, with no indication that Sam could even hear him. Suddenly a hand moved, and Sam placed a piece of the broken mirror back in the frame. Jack looked up, but still there was no recognition in her eyes. Still, a small smile graced his lips for the first time in weeks, and he kept talking.
…I'll do what I can to show her the way.
And maybe one day I will free her…
AN: So, what did you think?