Title: Shall We Dance?
Summary: Kara thinks on her situation with Leoben.
Rating: K+ for safety's sake
Timeframe: Season 3: 'Occupation' and 'Precipice'
Disclaimer: No disrespect is intended to the creators of Battlestar Galactica.
Notes: I'm still trying to get a handle on the character of Kara/Starbuck and the BSG universe, so con crit would help tremendously. What did I get right? What did I get wrong?
I killed him the first time because he left himself open. Stupid, frakking toaster put his hands on me, gave me a line about how we're meant for each other, that he loves me.
Love. Yeah, right.
The second time, I waited, let him get a bit closer. He touched me and I managed not to react at the feel of those hands until…bam! I watched his eyes as he died, wiped his blood off my hands with his shirt. It was enough then to just ruin his clothes and hear his sigh when he returned and saw it. He quit leaving knives around after that, but who needs a knife when there are plenty of other ways to kill? It's a challenge to find new ways to kill him, but one I'm well up for.
Our dance became a bit more intricate. What can I do but play his sick frakking games? It's not like I have much of anything else to occupy my time except looking out the window and staring at the walls. I had to restrain myself, wait until he thought I was giving in and hope that the next time I killed him I'd escape before he returned to start the cycle all over again.
Each time he said, " I love you, Kara. I'm patient. I'll wait for you to love me too."
Delusional, crazy toaster. Love?
What sort of twisted definition of love is he operating from?
Killed him a third time, then a fourth and fifth, and now this? What sort of idiot does he take me for? My kid? His and mine. Yeah. That thing isn't human. It's…another toaster that's all. A trick to make me cave in, something to give him an edge in the vain hope I won't kill his ass again. He can't think I'd feel something for it. I'm no parent. I'm….
But what if it's human? What if he stole it…her? What if there's a woman out there mourning her lost child? Or worse, what if her mother is dead and she has no one? This kid…Kacey…. She's an unknown. He wants me to bond with her and maybe I can use that. Maybe this is just another rhythm in our dance or maybe it isn't. Who frakking knows anymore?
I'm tired, more tired that I've ever been in my life, but I can't give up. I can't give him what he wants. I won't. But I'll pretend. I'll frak him up in the head and bide my time and maybe I can get myself and this girl to safety.
Was taking his hand too much too soon? And why didn't I even have to suppress a shudder? Why was it easy to reach back? Why didn't I feel sick?
Gods help me. I've got to get out of here.
How long until he wears me down and I become exactly what he wants? How long until I look at my reflection and the person I am no longer exists? How long until I really do buy into his 'visions' of our future together? He says he's patient and I believe him on that. I believe he'd keep me isolated for years if it meant I'd accept his plans for me.
Are you out there Galactica? I refuse believe you left us here to rot. I won't believe it. I know you're there, waiting just like I'm waiting. Come soon.
I'll be ready.