Who'd a thunk it? It took only three months for me to update this story! Special thanks to campy for the inspiration for this episode of Stoppable's Island.
Thanks to Quathis, screaming phoenix, CajunBear73, Ran Hakubi, Boris Yeltsin, Josh84, Mr. Wizard, whitem, campy, Kwebs, Bobboky, JeanieBeanie33, Comet Moon, noncynic, Acosta perez jose Ramiro, Pharaoh Rutin Tutin, neithan, daywalkr82, Guyver Unit 1, Danny-171984, Warbird, Sacred White Phoenix, Joe Stoppinghem, Cylon One, RonHeartbreaker, Molloy, kim's 1 fan, and Drakonis Aurous for reviewing and to everyone for reading.
Thanks to campy for proofreading.
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KP © Disney, Gilligan's Island © CBS Television/United Artists
The high-pitched scream ripped through the camp, rudely rousing the castaways from their slumber.
Kim was the first to react, swiftly jumping out of her cot and racing towards the cry's source. Next was the Skipper, who lost no time bellowing "Battle Stations!" at Ron and Rufus before he hit them with his hat and dragged them out into the cool island night. They were followed by Wade, whose curiosity coaxed him from the comfort of his hut, and then Bonnie, who wanted to find out who had disturbed her sleep so she could give him what for.
The groggy castaways were met by an apologetic Senor Senior.
"What's the sitch?" Kim asked, urgency and concern in her voice.
"I must apologize," the old billionaire said by way of explaining. "It is Junior."
"Don't worry, Mr. Senior," the Skipper said. "There's nothing that some good old Navy triage can't take care of," he said with mildly disturbing relish. "I just hope we don't have to take off more than a leg."
"That will not be necessary, Captain, you see—"
"Dude, your hair!" exclaimed Ron as Junior appeared, his once perfectly coiffed locks now an unholy mess.
"Yes," Junior wailed. "My hair! All is lost!"
"Um, you could comb it," Wade suggested. "Here," he said, offering Junior a comb.
"Thank you very much, Mr. Genius Professor Man," Junior said snippily. "But an appropriate hair grooming tool is not the problem." Proving his point, the young heir whipped out a fistful of combs, all of which glittered.
"Is that gold?" Ron whispered to Kim.
"He sure didn't get those at Smarty Mart," she replied.
"Out of my way, losers," Bonnie growled as she rudely shoved Kim and Ron aside. "Junior," she cooed as she took one of the 24-carat combs from his fingers, "Whatever your problem is, I'm sure I can solve it for you."
"I doubt it, though I do appreciate your insincere expression of concern," he said. "Your shallow and obvious gold-digging is most appealing."
"This is all well and fine," the Skipper barked. "But I'd like to know why in the Sam Hill you woke us up in the middle of the night."
"My supply of Le Goop," Junior moaned. "It is ruined!"
"I thought you lost all of that when we were shipwrecked," Wade said, recalling the how inconsolable the young heir had been.
"So did I," Junior said. "Then I learned that a few precious bottles had survived the storm. But now I have made this awful discovery!"
"And you discovered this in the middle of the night why?" Kim, who like the others was tired, asked sharply.
Junior looked at the redhead in horror, unable to fathom how someone could question his desire to ensure each and every one of his pampered hairs was cosseted and cared for day and night. "How can you be so insensitive?"
"Hello!" Kim said. "It's three in the morning!"
"That does not mean one can carelessly ignore matters of personal grooming," Junior sniffed.
"Don't pay attention to her," Bonnie said soothingly. "Little Miss Plain Jane's obviously never cared about how she looks so she wouldn't know what you're going through …"
Kim gritted her teeth.
"… It's so hard to be one of the beautiful people, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is," Junior agreed.
Ron cast a sideways glance at Kim and began to worry about her blood pressure.
"Well, I'm here to help you manage your loss," Bonnie said as she led him towards the lagoon. "Tell me about your fortune. And your mansions. I'm sure that will take your mind off things."
"Well, Papi is one of the world's five richest men …" he began.
Kim's eye twitched as Bonnie and Junior strolled away.
"That … that … she …"
"Not worth it, KP," Ron said.
"But she said … and then …"
Ron waved off his friend's concern. "She's just like the bullies on D Deck. All hate, no love."
Kim appraised Ron. "You're right," she said. "She's so not worth it. Thanks."
"'Sha," Ron said with a grin. "Just doing my part."
"I'm telling you, KP, this will work," Ron said.
"I don't know, Ron," she replied skeptically. "Besides, it seems to be ferociously unethical."
"Kim, Kim, Kim," he said. "The unethical thing would be to let Junior wallow in his pain when we can do something about it."
"You are so flawed," Kim said.
"Fine, if you want to condemn Junior to a life on the moopy side …"
Kim looked across the camp to see a listless, despondent Junior. Even Bonnie's best attempts to take his mind off of his loss (and inveigle herself into his wallet) seemed to have failed. "Okay," the redhead said, setting aside her reservations. "Let's do it."
"Badical," Ron said. "Now here's how I see things going down …"
Kim held up her hand.
"If we're going to do this," she said, "here's what's going to happen."
"Why do you get to be the leader?" Ron asked.
"Well, I am captain of the college cheer squad," Kim said. "Or was …"
Ron saw a look of sadness pass over his friend's face as she realized that someone else had most likely taken her place as head cheerleader in the wake of the Minnow's loss. He knew what he had to do.
"Well, guess you got me on the experience front," Ron conceded.
"You sure?" she asked.
"Yup," Ron said.
"Thanks," Kim said. Then she outlined her plan.
"Aw man, you want me to be the distraction?" an incredulous Ron asked.
"Ron, distraction is a critical part of this plan. Besides, you're bigger than me and, well," she paused awkwardly before adding, "not as graceful."
"I'm graceful enough," he said indignantly.
Then his pants fell down.
Kim smirked and looked at him with an arched eyebrow.
"Okay, so maybe I should use my mad fu distraction skills while you get the bottle," Ron said.
Kim smiled. "Glad you agree."
"Yoha, broja!" Ron said cheerfully as he headed towards Junior.
"Who is this broja of whom you speak?" a confused Junior replied.
Kim, hearing the exchange, rolled her eyes as she made her way to the back of the Seniors' hut. While the tow-headed first mate made idle chit chat with the forlorn heir, the auburn-haired college student slipped into the hut where she found Junior's cache of skunked Le Goop.
"I so cannot believe I did that," Kim grumbled as she climbed out the window. "I feel like such a thief."
"You should, Possible," Bonnie, who seeing Kim go behind the hut, decided to investigate, said triumphantly. "College student my foot. You're a no-good, rotten, sticky-fingered criminal. What will everyone say when I tell them that I saw you stealing from the Seniors?"
Kim flushed red. "All I took was a bottle of bad shampoo!" she said heatedly. "And it was for a good cause."
"A likely story," Bonnie said. "You were probably casing their hut so you could steal their valuables. So like you master criminals."
"So not!" Kim protested. "Ron will back me up."
"Your lapdog?" Bonnie said dismissively. "Everybody knows he'd say anything you want him to say. Now give." The B-list movie actress stretched out her hand, awaiting the bottle that she planned to use to send her career in a whole new direction.
Kim seethed but reluctantly did as Bonnie demanded – if the brunette started making accusations, it could lead to a fraying of the trust that the castaways depended on for their survival on the island.
"See you later, K," Bonnie said haughtily as she strode off with the bottle, leaving an infuriated Kim Possible alone behind the hut.
"So, how'd it go?" Ron asked Kim.
She replied by glaring at him.
"Not so good, huh? Well, you'll do better next time, I'm sure."
"Excuse me?" Kim snapped.
"What I mean to say is I'm sure you did an amazing job and were the victim of unforeseeable and unfortunate circumstances," Ron said as he looked at Kim nervously. He was beginning to feel distinctly uncomfortable under her withering gaze.
"Oh, Junior!" Bonnie called out, catching the attention of Kim and Ron. "Look what I found!"
The morose young man looked at the starlet. When he saw what she was holding his face lit up. "It cannot be!" he said.
"It is," she cooed.
Just then Senor Senior returned from a stroll. He was delighted to see his son beaming with joy.
"You are a goddess!" Junior enthused. "Where did you find this?" he asked as he grasped the bottle reverently.
"It was in the bottom of my bag," she lied.
"Miss Rockwaller, you have restored my son's happiness," Senor Senior said. "How can I ever repay you?"
"Oh, I don't know," she said casually. "Maybe you could buy a movie studio and cast me as the lead in a big-budget blockbuster?"
"Consider it done," Senor Senior said.
"I cannot believe her!" Kim snapped.
"Believe it," Ron said, his shoulders slumping.
"Uh huh," Rufus added as he clambered onto Ron's shoulder.
"Man, this tanks," Ron said.
"Totally," Kim agreed.
Bonnie was sunning herself when Junior walked up to her. "This is not my Le Goop," he said frostily as he thrust the bottle into her face.
"What are you talking about?" Bonnie said. "Of course it is."
"No, it is not, Bonnie Rockwaller," Junior said. "Everyone knows that the sea urchin makes all the difference in Le Goop. This hair care product, while it has a delightful essence of lavender and pleasing hints of honeysuckle has no urchins, from the sea or anywhere else."
"Er … I …," Bonnie stammered, caught off guard by Junior's discovery. She never imagined that he would realize that she'd replaced the Le Goop with some of he shampoo.
"You have deceived me!" Junior declared in a tremulous voice before he turned on his heel and stormed off.
"Wait, I can explain!" Bonnie called out. "It's Possible's fault!"
Senor Senior approached Bonnie, displeasure writ large on his aristocratic face. "I am most disappointed, Miss Rockwaller. Instead of lifting my son's spirits you have only dashed his hopes."
"Does that mean there will be no movie?" she asked.
"There will be not even be a low-budget, made-for-the-internet infomercial," the suave elder said before he, too, walked off.
"Serves Bon Bon right," Ron said as he, Kim, and Wade watched the little drama unfold.
"True," Kim said. "Now let's see if we can get the shampoo and get it to the Professor."
"You want me to break in this time?" Ron offered eagerly.
"I so don't think so," Kim said.
"But I can do this!"
"Right," she said skeptically. "Now, If you'll excuse me, I'm going to talk to Senior Senior," she added as she went off in search of the old billionaire.
"You have done fine work, Professor," Senor Senior said approvingly to the stout African-American genius. "I look forward to funding your new research laboratory once we are rescued."
"Thanks," Wade replied as he shook hands with the billionaire, who then walked over to his son.
"Looks like you were able to duplicate Junior's Le Goop," Kim said.
"It was pretty easy," Wade said with a nod. "I asked Senor Senior for one of Junior's bottles. All I needed was a drop of Le Goop. I was able to analyze the compounds, compensate for the humidity and heat which must have affected the stuff, and whip up a substitute. He'll be set as long as we don't run out of sea urchins."
"Not going to happen," Ron said as he looked to the water. "The lagoon is sick with them."
The trio watched Junior, his hair restored, primp and preen.
Wade was clearly pleased with his handiwork.
Kim smiled at the young genius and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Professor," she said, "you rock!"