I don't own these characters…except for Trin, Shin, and Tatsu of course.
A/N: this story is just an excuse to screw with these characters and show some of the things lurking in the depths of their minds that scare the hell out of them. I hope you enjoy.
This story goes out to Laura25, who kinda gave me this idea by wondering if I could AU an AU. She also had the same strange thought as I did, but it comes further along in the story.
1: The Cause: Killer Cupcakes
The ringing of what should have been an innocent cooking timer should not have sounded so much like a death toll, but it did. It seemed more somber than a funeral. The group felt like they should wait for a murder of crows to gather. The birds would feast upon their shivering, choking carcasses and then ultimately die the same deaths they did because surely the bell signaled something that deadly.
"Come on, blondie, think of a way out of this," Shego urged Trin in a whisper of a voice. The pale woman sounded rather desperate and looked the part, too. Her emerald eyes pled with some solution that was not forthcoming.
"There is no way out of this short of killing ourselves," Trin answered in a low voice and she meant that. There was no way around what they had to go through. But, killing themselves was sounding better and better. Tatsu pulled Trin closer, either for protect or to protect Trin, but nothing could protect them.
"We might as well kill ourselves if we go through this," Shin groaned and he dropped his head to the wooden coffee table that they were gathered around.
"Wait, would this count as suicide if we knowingly do it?" Shego wondered aloud. No one had a response and they just all silently sulked while pondering why between the lot of them, all admitted psycho or sociopaths, had any cyanide pills on them.
They all sat in the living room of Kim and Shego's apartment and they were all certain that they were going to die in about five minutes or less if fate was truly against them. How did they all get into such a mess, they wondered. They were not sure how they got into it and they certainly did not know how they were going to get out of it.
"There has to be another way," Shego insisted. She did not think that the irksome blonde was thinking hard enough. She was supposed to be a genius, after all. A genius should have been able to get them out of their current mess.
"There isn't. We just have to accept that," Trin replied.
"You're not thinking hard enough," the moss-hued female argued.
"Well, what's your brilliant save-our-pathetic-souls plan? I'm not the only strategist sitting here," the blonde countered. She had thought the situation out backwards and forwards. She had assessed it from every direction possible in the 3D realm that they occupied. They were dead and that was that.
"You're the one that thinks of the damn plans. Do it now," Shego commanded the aqua-eyed female. Yes, she could think of plans, too, and so could Shin, but Trin was there, so they should not have to.
"Yes, because we all know ordering me around makes me think much faster," Trin commented sarcastically.
"You're mighty quiet," Shin said to Tatsu. "Do you have some secret plan for living through this and if so, tell me now," he ordered the mechanic, who was just silently leaning against Trin.
Tatsu glanced at the half-Japanese fellow, but she did not say anything. Yeah, her secret plan was not do what they were going to do. She was not going to accept fate. She was not going to eat those cupcakes when they were done.
"Are you guys ready?" Kim called to them in a happy chirp.
They could smell the scent of their demise. It smelled like burnt strawberries. For some odd reason, this seemed appropriate.
"That's got to be a trick question," Shin practically cried.
Kim entered the living room with a pan full of pink frosted cupcakes and placed them on the coffee table. She had just made them herself and she thought that they came out just fantastic. The others looked at the cupcakes and gulped. They were the ones who would have to taste those baked goods…well, they hoped that they were good. Well, at least they looked like cupcakes for once.
"So…" Kim said with a huge grin as she clapped her hands together. She rubbed her palms against each other. She waited for someone to try one, looking between everyone.
"Go ahead, Shego," Trin said while nudging the former thief.
"Hey, they're pink. That's all you," Shego replied, motioning to the treats.
"You're the girlfriend," the blonde argued, glaring at the older warrior.
"You're the sister," Shego retorted with a glare all her own.
"Well?" Kim said anxiously, fidgeting next to them.
They all looked at her and saw that she was wearing an unbelievable hopeful and adorable expression. Her olive eyes were big and full of eagerness. They had to try the cupcakes just because of the expression on her face. They all looked at each other and gulped again. Three of them then reached for a cupcake. Tatsu was the only one that did not pick up one of the frosted treats.
Trin nudged her lover with her elbow. Tatsu snorted and then glanced up at Kim, who was still looking utterly precious from the hope that they liked her baked goods. The mechanic sighed and slowly grabbed for a cupcake. She wondered if she could use the excuse of being allergic to chocolate to avoid committing suicide with the rest of the group. She doubted it would work considering just last week she almost ate an entire chocolate cake on her own and they all knew that, especially since Shin pitched a fit about it. It was not her fault they all knew the best bakery in town.
The group of four looked up at the baker and then turned their attention back to the cupcakes. Well, what were the odds of the treats really killing them? Higher than they would like to believe, they knew. In fact, if they were placing bets, they would bet that they were going to die. Well, they had to resign themselves to fate. Kim was too hopeful for them to disappoint.
Everyone bit into their cupcake while silently saying a prayer in their heads. They all held in cringes as the taste of the food hit their tongues. They all chewed and swallowed anyway. They then forced out smiles for Kim, which made her very happy. She grinned and grabbed a cupcake for herself. They all ate the baked goods; Kim was the only one that did not have to force the food down. Shego wondered why it was that bad cooking seemed to taste good to the cook.
The four tasters sat there as the cupcakes hit their stomachs. They all glanced at each other just to know that everyone was in the same amount of pain; seeing the others aching made it less painful. They all then waited because no one wanted to be the first one to run to the bathroom to throw up.
"So, what did you guys think?" Kim asked while latching onto Shego's arm and smiling so much that they could not rain on her parade.
"Well…I've never tasted anything like it," Tatsu muttered, forcing her expression to remain as neutral as ever.
"You and me both," Shego agreed with that and then she flashed her girlfriend a smile to show that she meant that in a good way.
"Sis?" Kim turned to the blonde.
"You're certainly improving," Trin replied. It was the truth at least. Of course, this would not save their digestive tracks right now.
"Yeah, I can still see and everything," Shin remarked and Trin slapped him in the face. "Ow! I meant that as a compliment!" he hollered.
"And I meant that to hurt," the blonde female replied.
"Well, mission accomplished. Damn, it's going to be red and everything," he complained while holding his cheek. "But, you know what, proves my point. I haven't lost sensation in my face and I can still see!"
Trin slapped him again. "And you can still get slapped. Amazing."
"Fucking harpy," he grumbled.
"I'm glad you all liked them. Maybe we should finish them off," Kim said since there were still six cupcakes left. The others balked at the suggestion and turned to Trin, praying that she had an excuse. Trin was an expert in sparing Kim's feelings, after all.
"You know I can't eat too much chocolate in a certain amount of time and it's not really healthy anyway," the blonde said. "We shouldn't spoil our appetites for dinner, either."
Kim accepted that and put the cupcakes away in the refrigerator. Dinner turned out to be a simple delivered pizza because Trin couldn't fathom standing up as her stomach twisted in on itself. The others understood, doubting they would have been able to hold down a real meal anyway. The pizza was barely touched, except for Kim.
A little while later, Trin, Shin, and Tatsu left the apartment since it was getting late. They hoped that the cupcakes did not come back to haunt them since all they could do was grin and bear the fact that they wanted to throw up or at least take something to get their intestines to not drop out. They had to remember to keep Kim away stove, especially if they had to eat whatever she was making.
They all retired to bed that night, four of them hoping that they could forget about the cupcakes, not just the ones they ate, but the ones they left waiting. They wondered how Kim could just eat the cupcake and not notice that it was probably a form of poison. Really, for a girl that could do anything, she needed to leave the cooking to just about everyone else on the planet.
Next time: what lurks in depths of the mind of Shin?