little blue girl

i remember you.

little girl, with a sparkling necklace in your grip and eyes like the sea. you had hair darker than the inky night we slipped through, your tiny hand in my glove.

"don't be scared."

and you began to cry. tears streaked down your cheeks, leaving clean trails in the dirt on your skin. because you knew, just as i did, that fear was already igniting under starless sky, your home used as kindling.

you sobbed for your brother.

please understand, you didn't do anything wrong.

i remember how easily you fit under my jacket, as I stole you away from the violence. you were so small, smaller than my sister was when she died.

i wanted you to live. please, believe me, i did.

the sky exploded in fiery scintillations as we raced up the hill, away from the madness. tripping, stumbling towards safety. but nowhere was really safe.

not anymore.

i wondered how many more little girls i would be able to save, and knew it would be far less than the number that i would have to destroy. little girls and boys, who snuck their vegetables under the table and wore their stockings inside out. they will have done nothing wrong, and i would kill them.

but i would save you.

the ice beneath us was stained red and black, like the flags that fluttered behind our backs, and i told you to run.

i still remember how your feet sounded as you raced into the abyss, crushing snow beneath your toes. i stared after you from beneath a mask like a dead man's skull.

little blue girl, i remember you.