Title: Mad World

Rated: T

Pairing: KakaIru

Summary: I find it sad that I can even call rape, love (KakaIru Angst)

Disclaimer: me no own

A/N: I was watching CSI and found this song very inspiring

KXI

All around me are familiar faces

It's like the all know you right? Like they have a right to judge right? Go to hell. You have no idea what I've been through.

But they act like they do.

Worn out places, worn out faces

I don't like being here, in this bar. But they're trying to cheer me up. Fellow teachers looking out for other teachers right?

They know I'm depressed, and their only curious.

Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

With each drink I have I put in empty place. And it's going no where.


And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression

I hide myself behind this mask so they think I'm cheering up. I just want them to leave me alone, and stop reminding me of him. And behind this mask I'm crying. Broken and alone.

That empty place is filling quickly with tears and shattered pieces.


Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

Leave me alone to drown in my tears please.

I just want to be left alone.


And I find it kind of funny

I can't believe I still let him touch me. I could laugh.

I'm so weak that I can't say no.

I need to love, even if it's from someone like him.


I find it kind of sad

I find it sad that I can even call rape, love. Even if I can't say no, I still didn't want it. He knew, but he was drunk. He felt powerful.


The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had

He still thinks it was mutual and proceeded to move in with me.

And he still takes me, after I say no.

He thinks I'm being hard to get.

Why can't he just listen to me? Why can't he see?

Why can't he see that I'm slowly dieing.


I find it hard to tell you
'Cos I find it hard to take

But I can't tell him the hard truth that he raped me that night. What would it do to him? Would he even care?

I keep making excuses for him. He was drunk he didn't know.

Or maybe he did know, he just never cared.


When people run in circles

And it goes in a cycle : he gets drunk, wants it, I say no, rapes me, then the next morning he sighs and says, "You really like it rough don't you?"


It's a very, very
Mad World

And I just say, "Kakashi I have to go."


Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday

I'm waiting for that one chance I can make him regret what he did to me.


Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen

I guess now is my chance.

"Kakashi…we need to talk."


Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me

No one ever knew who I really was after he forced me. I think he's starting to understand now. I think he's starting to put the broken pieces together. I think he's starting to really listen. I think he's starting to…

I think it's starting to shatter him.


Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

"What? No…I …I'm…I'm so sorry! Oh God!"

…care.