Title: Why The Caged Bird Sings
Dark/Daisuke; side Krad/Satoshi

Summary: ([DarkDaisuke KxS) Welcome to prison, where the convicts are men, the men are gay, and the gay are drop dead gorgeous. Enter Dark, who wants to bang his new, innocent cellmate. Now enter Daisuke something Dark wholly plans to do. Ah, the wonders of the big house.

Usual disclaimers apply and I warn you of perversion, AU-ness, definite OOC-ness, language, and bad cracks at Asians. (Sorry, I can't help it. xD)

And not to mention updates at long, monthly intervals. nn;; Sorry 'bout that… /sheepish grin/ Hey, I will be the first person to tell you all this: I am a bitch. Heheh… I am one because of my poor updating skills and my…yeah. I think that's about it. Other than that, I'm a freaking angel. :D Heheh… But really – I seriously suck. My updates for stories range from about 2 months to…hell, more than that. I don't mean to take such a long time…but I just do. I thank you all for all the support, and for the reviews telling me to hurry up – I take those to heart. I try to obey them. Really, I do!

Read this: I just want everyone to know that I will not abandon this fic. And besides, if I ever decide to abandon it (which I don't plan on!), than I'll TELL YOU GUYS. I'm not too big on reviews coming and asking "Are you planning to finish this?" or "Please don't discontinue this." I haven't gotten any as of yet – which I'm glad for – and I plan to keep it that way. I'm happy that you guys are patient with me. I mean, you can scream at me and tell me to resurrect myself from my death (because I die many times :D), that's fine. Just don't lose faith in me. This fic will have an ending. Even if it's a half-assed attempt at an ending because I lost interest, it will have one. I won't leave you with a chapter and decide to stop forever. You'll get your half-assed chapter!

…Though I'm really aiming for a good ending you'll all remember, cherish, and pass on to your children. /cough/ …Well, I don't advise you to share this story with your children…but whatever. xD

By the way, I'll single out Brie92 for a second here. She is my 300th reviewer! Holy crap! Exclamation point! Claps out to her, friends. -Clap, clap, clap- Heheh… Never in my life would I have ever thought I would get my review count up this high… But holy smacks! It has! …Anyway – everyone rocks my stupidly mismatched socks! I love you all to freakin' death! ./tackle glomp of DOOM/ Despite my untimely, chapter-updating-less death, you've all managed to return to me and review. Heheh… I hope you enjoy this chapter. x3


"Coach! Coach!" Dark ran up to Chris hysterically, his eyes frantically flitting around in his sockets. "I lost my boyfriend!"

Chris blinked at him. "Eh…retrace your steps," he concocted experimentally. "Where was the last place you put him?"

"I didn't put him anywhere!" Dark snapped, looking flabbergasted. "He can walk around on his own, for your information."

Now it was Chris's turn to look flabbergasted. "Wait a second." He stared at Dark over the rim of his black-tinted sunglasses. "What kind of tree are we talking about here? A walking one?"

A vein pulsed angrily on Dark's temple. "What the hell? Who here is talking about trees, you moron?"

Chris glowered at Dark. "You. You said you lost your tree."

Dark nearly imploded into himself. "I lost my boyfriend. You know – my lover, my boy toy, my uke, my fuck buddy, my hole!"

Chris grinned. "Oh, is that all? There's a hole over there." He pointed out to a hole of dirt beside the bleachers. "You can plant some seeds there – you might even grow yourself a new tree to replace your lost one."

Dark, who was busy resisting the urge to sock Chris right in the face, spun on his heel and walked away, silently seething.




He awoke to the sound of a melodious piano softly trilling a classical tune. It was slow, soft, and calming, but it seemed to fill him with an odd sense of happiness and energy. However, at the same time, it was lulling him back to sleep. He wanted to fade back to black, to surrender himself back to the darkness.

The second that thought entered his head, a screeching electric guitar riff joined the piano, filling the air with its monstrous screams. Baba-BUM. Baba-BUM. The rhythmic beating of a drum kit soon followed, which obviously meant – CRASH!!!! A cymbal.

Daisuke's eyes snapped wide open, his eyelids not even fluttering. They were simply closed one minute, and had suddenly risen the next – something he sorely regretted when his vision suddenly went blurry.


"Ah, so you're finally awake."

The redhead's vision cleared, and his gaze locked with a pair of light violet eyes hovering above him. They were the very same pair of light violet eyes he had last seen before he passed out. "You!" he cried out, recognizing the familiar face instantly. The eyes and hair were unmistakable. "Dark–!"

"I'm not that stupid man, you moron," the man above him snarled. A lock of blonde, kept hair fell out of place and into his face.

"I know you're not Dark," Daisuke snapped back. "I was simply calling out his name so that he could save me from you, you rapist-slash-kidnapper-slash-person-who-knocked-me-out-with-a-hoard-of-footballs."

"Oh." His captor nodded in thought. "All right then."

It was silent.




Daisuke lifted his arm up to stretch, only to be stopped by a rope around his wrist. Funny. He hadn't noticed it there before.

"Oh. I guess I'm stuck here then." It was more of a question than a statement, really.

"Yes." The blonde grinned.



"Can I go now?"

"No." The purple-eyed other chuckled. "No, no. It's best you stay here." The small grin he donned grew immediately, stretching miles across his face. "Best for me, that is." A malevolent giggle broke from Argentine's lips.

Daisuke broke into a sweat, his face devoid of an emotionless mask – or any mask for that matter. He was seriously worried.

Before, it had just been Dark. The horny bastard would make passes at him, grope him, hit on him, brand him with his name, and all other sorts of tomfoolery…but it had never gone farther than that. Now, he was tied up in some almost-gangster's cell, all alone, with no one to save him.

He never would have thought it possible, but he wanted Dark by his side. He wanted Dark right now.

However, the moment of fear, trepidation, apprehension, etc was short lived.

Argentine was making odd faces at him – pulling at the skin beneath his eyes, waggling his tongue, doing a little Irish jig. For no understandable reason, he was doing these things. It was pretty hard to fear a moron. He looked like a bloody mad fool, though his face donned a very triumphant smirk for some reason. There seemed to be a reason for his odd behavior.

"I know what you're thinking," the blonde suddenly broke in, stopping his idiosyncratic motions and pulling himself up onto the bed and right beside Daisuke's still body, causing the redhead to stiffen even more. "Why am I, a very notorious Kokuyoku, kidnapping you and tying you up in a very shady manner that hints my lust for you, when I with my oh so fergalicious body could just seduce you and make you mine?" Leaving no time for the scoffing, no longer fearful Daisuke to reply, the blonde continued on. "Well, because you are the cut-off piece of a puzzle jig; a tiny chunk blown off from a stepping stone; a near-dead, struggling insect trapped in the web of my master plan. You are nothing, so I must use you to get to the other."

"What other?" Daisuke demanded, a wee bit miffed about being called all those belittling things – especially that part about him being a tiny chunk. He was not tiny!

"The one other member of the Kokuyoku clan in this prison house, of course," Argentine snapped, as though it were the most obvious thing in Nova Scotia. "You sleep with him, you eat with him, you spend every waking minute with him…" He trailed a sly finger down Daisuke's chest. "You know who…"

Daisuke wiggled sourly, trying to rid his torso of the wandering finger. "No, I don't. I don't know any Kokuyokus. I mean…I know you, of course." He paused a moment, to set the trap. "But you don't really count, now do you?" The ghost of a smirk flitted over the young man's face before disappearing.

"You!" Argentine purpled. "You, you… You shut up!"

"Oh, all right then." Feeling very cheeky and Dark-like for some reason, Daisuke shut his eyes. "I guess you don't want to talk to me anymore." Closing his mouth and turning his head away from Argentine, he tried to ignore the warm body pressed up beside him.

It was silent.

But not until Argentine shifted around in a flurry of sheets, somehow ending up on top of the vulnerable Daisuke, straddling his hips with his knees. "Not up for talking, Niwa?" he questioned mockingly, his lips nearly touching the shell of the redhead's ear. "Well we could do other things that don't require talking…" The innuendo in his suggestion was more than obvious.

Daisuke's eyes snapped open at the insinuation, and he squeaked out what was meant to be an indignant snarl. "All right!" he yelped, his voice an octave higher than usual. "We can talk!"

Argentine smirked, lightly nipping Daisuke's ear once before hopping up off the bed. "Do you want to hear my master plan?" he asked, quite cheerful and looking as though he was no longer angry about Daisuke's Kokuyoku joke at his expense. "Because that's what we gangsters do. We tell our hostages our master plans." The blonde looked very smug.

"Oh, all right then."

Argentine looked delighted. "I will use you as my bait to lure Dark over to my cell. …Then I will kill him!"

Daisuke blinked. "…That's it?" he deadpanned, looking disinterested.

"What do you mean, 'That's it?'" Argentine demanded. "I think it's a flippin' brilliant plan."

Rolling his eyes, Daisuke turned his nose once again. "Whatever you say, Wanna-Be."

Argentine nearly exploded. "WANABE! It's Wanabe!"

"Yeah, all right." Daisuke shrugged to the best of his ability, his voice expressing the utmost sarcasm possible.

Very close to popping a blood vessel, the violet-eyed man let out a strained chuckle. "Thanks for asking, there, Niwa. I will tell you why I am killing off your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend," Daisuke snapped.

"Well he bangs you, doesn't he?"

Daisuke's lip puckered. "NO."

Argentine scoffed. "What kind of boyfriend is he?"

"He's not my boyfriend!"

"Well then I'll kill him," Argentine decided blithely.

"You have fun with that," Daisuke replied, his lips still pulled into a sour grimace.

"Don't you want to know why?"






"I'll rape you, little boy."

"All right, fine! But just know that I no longer fear you. You're not a threat. You're just a horny old man. …One that tries to offer a little boy a Popsicle, only to giggle evilly when he says yes and reveal to him that it's in his pocket… Y-yeah. I'm not scared of you… -1-" Daisuke's twitching left eye betrayed his emotions.

Argentine blinked. "…All right then. …Carrying on. I will kill Kokuyoku Dark for all the shame he has brought to our family, for abandoning the clan in favor of his petty thieving, for leaving the empty milk cartons in the fridge after drinking all of the milk, for–"

"Wait a second," Daisuke interrupted. "Dark… Dark… He would never…"

"Never what? Never drink all the damn milk and stick the empty cartons back into the fridge? Neh, yeah, you'd think that, but no – he did, that bastard!" Argentine looked absolutely livid. Over milk.

"Actually…" Daisuke arched an eyebrow. "I was gonna say that he would never hide the fact that he was part of a huge mafia gang from me…" The cynical look on his face faded and was replaced with a bit of indignation. "He wouldn't lie to me. He's not really a Kokuyoku. It's you who's lying to me!"

Argentine barked out a laugh. "You must not know Dark, then. He likes to lie. It's like his favorite thing next to thieving. He told us he was moving to the US to spread our kind on the east coast, but really; he left our clan and abandoned our ways as a notorious mafia family. What did he turn to then? Whoring out his new name, Dark Mousy, as a 'great Phantom Thief.'" Argentine sneered.

"Well…well…" Daisuke was at loss for words. "Even if you are telling the truth, why should I care?"

Argentine laughed. "I never said you should care. However, I advise you to fear. I've seen Dark do some serious shit in his time. By the time he was fifteen, he was a bloodthirsty hit man for his father. Blood everywhere; on his clothes, on his face – hell, sometimes, he got it in his mouth. And he loved it. By the time he was seventeen, the mafia life caught up with him and so the sex scandals and such began. Hired women, hired men – good lord, it was like a giant strip club, all in Dark's side of the mansion." Argentine let out another laugh. "That dog.

"There are two main points about Dark that you should know. When he couldn't get his fix on torture, in came the deaths. When he was denied sex, rape came in to play. He was a true Kokuyoku." Argentine smirked, his eyes glittering admiringly. "But now I shall kill him for his foolishness. That's the business."

But Daisuke wasn't listening. He was lost in thoughts to Dark. Dark being a huge mafia man. Dark fucking whores and prostitutes. Dark killing people left and right. Dark covered in blood and looking absolutely smug.

For some reason, that last scenario slightly appealed to him – just slightly. …Was he a masochist?

…No, that wasn't it. That wasn't it at all…


"So what to do until cousin Darky gets here?" Argentine questioned aloud.

Daisuke feigned contemplation. "Hm… Letting me go free would be a pretty fun past time," he suggested.

Argentine bit back a chuckle. "You clever one, you. …But no. Instead, we'll play a little…game." A smirk stretched across the blonde's lips and his eyebrows were going haywire as he raised and lowered them.

"W…what kind of game?" Daisuke ventured, his tone wavering between fear and confusion.

"A game I will very much like. However, the same cannot be said for you." Argentine's suggestive tone scared the redhead. "You and I, my little songbird…"

Daisuke broke into a sweat.

"…will play…"

By now he was counting his blessings.



Outside, on the prison grounds, the frantic Dark was roaming the courtyard in search of his lost comrade and soon-to-be-though-unaware-of-this-fact lover.

"Daaaaaiiiiisssuuuuuuukkkkkeeeee! Come back to me!!! I'm nothing without you! I want to feel your warm touch against my skin one more time. I want to frolic around the pasture of my countryside home with you. I want to fuck that tight bod of yours until we're both wrinkly and old. …I want your bod."

That last part was inspired by that one American commercial for Bod body spray (or whatever it was…).

It seemed fun to say. And really. It was. -2-


Head snapping to the direction of the voice calling his name, Dark saw Takeshi a few feet before him at the gate that led back to the prison house.

"Why aren't you…eh…gallivanting around the place like you usually do?" Takeshi slipped his ever-handy clipboard under his arm and sent the convict a look. "What are you up to?"

It was the first time ever Dark was excited to see one of the guards. He nearly skipped forward and hugged Takeshi, but he controlled the urge, instead pressing on to more important matters. "Daisuke's been kidnapped!"

Takeshi arched an eyebrow, and his long pause suddenly caused Dark to feel very foolish for some reason. "…How can you get kidnapped in a prison, Mousy?" Maybe that was the reason.

Dark paused a moment to ponder Takeshi's question. Slowly, the gears in his mind turned, until the only logical reasoning his mind produced was, "Aliens."

Takeshi lowered his inquisitive brow, opting instead to send Dark a calming – if not patronizing – look. "See here, Mousy. You're overreacting."

Dark sent him a questioning look, as though the word overreacting was not a part of his vocabulary – and indeed, it probably was not.

Takeshi sighed, tiredly running a hand through his hair. He lowered it slowly, his mind concocting an explanation that could be used to get through to Dark's head. "Well… Remember when Hikari and Hiwatari first became your cellmates?"

"Uh-huh," Dark chirped.

"And remember, when you were all supposed to be out here for break, you came running up to me – to this exact same spot – spouting some nonsense about how they went missing?"

"Uh-huh," Dark sang in that same cheery, oblivious manner.

"Right. And remember when I had said, 'Hey, maybe they're just in their cell. Maybe they didn't want to hang out here in the sun'? And you shot down my logical idea with a wild exclamation of how they had been kidnapped?"


"And remember when you had dragged me all around the grounds, screaming your head off yelling for them? And how I had finally snapped and forced you back to your cell?"


"And do you remember what we saw, once we got back to your cell?" Takeshi grimaced slightly at the memory.

"Krad and Satoshi having mad sex on the empty bed, screaming each other's names when they finally creamed each other?" Dark ventured confidently, his smile never waning.

Takeshi sweatdropped at Dark's classy choice of wording. "Yes… That. They had never been kidnapped to begin with. Now what do you think the point of my little story is?"

Dark thought for a moment. However, his contemplative expression slowly melted, and was replaced with one of complete and utter horror. "Oh my god. You're totally right! Daisuke hasn't been kidnapped at all!"

Takeshi smiled, looking very close to handing Dark a golden star sticker. "That's right! Now you just get yourself back to the –"

"He's been lured back to the cell, and right as we speak, he's being raped! By none other than Krad and Satoshi! Those bastards!" The vehement Dark slammed his fist into his open palm. "They can grope each other all they want, but they can't have him! How dare they take my Daisuke! He's mine! I never tried to take Satoshi away from Krad!"

"Actually, you did…"

"Well, I never tried to take Krad from Satoshi!"

"…Yeah, you tried that, too."

"Well… Shut up, Saehara! Come, come, let us go and save my uke from those bastardized rapists!"

And for some unexplainable reason, Guard Saehara followed the overzealous prisoner on his journey to 'save his uke from those bastardized rapists.'


"What. The. Hell. Argentine!!!" Daisuke shook his head in a manner unlike that of a dog's, growling as three cards fell out of his thick mass of red hair. They twirled past his face to the sheets he was currently lying atop, laying there innocently, as though they had not just been thrown right at him. "I've told you over and over again: you're not supposed to throw the cards at people in Uno when you don't have the damn machine!" -3-

Argentine blew a tuft of blonde hair out of his face, rolling his brilliant mauve eyes. "You're just bitter because you haven't had the chance to throw the cards at me."

Daisuke's eyes nearly popped out of his head in exasperation, and he let out a frustrated sigh. "Well gee Argentine, I wonder why. Oh yeah – its because both my hands are tied above my head, you moron!" True to his word, Daisuke was still lying on his back, with both hands tied above his head and with a hand of cards placed before him (facing upright because Argentine was a dirty cheater.)

Argentine sniffed haughtily. "Sore loser."

It was Daisuke's turn to roll his eyes. Both garnet gems turned to the heavens (a.k.a. the ceiling) in desperation. "Dark… Where are you?" he murmured.

Beside him, out of the corner of his eye, Daisuke saw Argentine stiffen at his barely audible words.

"Calling for Dark? What's the deal with you, Niwa?"

Daisuke turned his head fully, eyeing Argentine warily. "You kidnap me and tie me up, and then you ask me what my deal is? Ha!" Rolling his eyes, the redhead scoffed. "Gee, maybe I'm calling for him because I want to be saved from my captor. But I dunno, I have some sort of deal going on in my head, so I can't be sure."

Argentine's facial expression didn't even flicker. "No. I'm really curious. I kidnap you, not for my own freakish pleasure or anything, but to use you as bait for Dark. My will to kill him has put your life on the line. I then tell you that he's from a mafia family, and that he knows his way around a knife, a machete, a gun, etc. I also tell you of his sexual tendencies, and how he gets when he can't consensually get off." Argentine tilted his head to the side in a manner unlike that of a confused puppy's. "And still, you call for him. Why?"

Daisuke was at loss for words. Uncertainly, he shrugged. "Uhm." He had absolutely no response to Argentine's question. "I…trust him."

Argentine's face hardened from its curious expression to a scornful one. "You trust him? After everything I said. Everything?"

Daisuke shook his head. "Um. I guess so. He hasn't wronged me yet."

"And you're gonna wait for that wrong? What if that wrong is more than you can handle? What if that wrong breaks you?" Argentine's face was scrutinizing as he studied Daisuke carefully.

"I have to believe. I have to believe that when he comes and saves me from you that he won't do anything to hurt me," Daisuke declared, his eyes hard as they bore into Argentine's familiar amethysts.

"If," Argentine corrected. "If he comes to save you."

"When," Daisuke repeated resolutely.

Argentine sighed. "Well you know, when he does come… I'm not giving him the chance to get away." Argentine smiled; a sweet, angelic smile that coated his next words with a heavenly façade. He turned away, staring dramatically out the window of his cell. "Once he walks in to gallantly save you, he won't be leaving."



Daisuke coughed.

Argentine snapped out of his theatrical pose and glared. "What the hell was that for? That could have been the perfect ending!"

Daisuke arched a brow. "The perfect ending for what, exactly?" he demanded.

Argentine sweatdropped. "I don't know, actually. It just seemed like the right thing to say at the moment…"

Daisuke sighed. "Dark, you better get your ass over here right now." And almost immediately, a playing card nailed him in the right eye.

"Damnit, Argentine!" Daisuke glared down at the offending card that had hit him. "Hey… An ace of spades… That's not even an Uno card!"

"Uno!" Argentine declared proudly.


Dark sped into Cellblock 4, looking for the door that led to the cellblock adjacent to it, Cellblock 6. As he led the way through the stony building with Takeshi trailing uncertainly at his heels, the thief found that his pace was gradually increasing by the second. His hands were clenching and unclenching in anxiety, and his eyes had widened to the size of plates. Almost unconsciously, he broke out into run, his athletic build pumping him forward.

He had to get to Daisuke.

He had to save Daisuke.

From the rapists Krad and Satoshi, of course.

Because there was no one else he would have to save Daisuke from, right?

Of course.

However, as Dark neared the door that led out of the cellblock, he ran right past an entire wall of occupied cells. Something in one of those cells caught his entire attention.

The violet-haired man froze in his steps, stopping directly in front of that one cell.

"Oh my god."


1: Random, right? …WRONG! This happened to my friend Adrian once. xD The old guy just kept asking if he wanted a Popsicle, and he kept saying no until he got tired to being asked and just said yes. …Then the guy was all, "It's in my pocket…" Creepy, eh? xDDD

2: Really. It is! I want your boooooood. Hahaha. xDDD

3: I don't know how to play Uno, but I saw some guy friends of mine throwing Uno cards at each other, so I thought, 'Hey, it's like they're playing with the machine!' And then…I just recently found out that there is no machine that spits cards out at you, like how they advertised the game on TV. It's a jip, I tell you!!! A JIP!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!

Killah: Hm. What did Dark see? ./wiggles eyebrows/

Fuck. I feel like such a jerk whore bastard monster face. :(:(:( Argh!!! This chapter wasn't that great… And it was only like…half the length of the last chapter… But please enjoy it. I'll try to get my ass in gear and write up the next one. Thanks for being so patient and crap. I love you, my lovely readers. /sniffle/ I'm such a jerk whore bastard monster face… x.X I am… Well… 'Til next time, I guess. Bye. xD