Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy is not mine. It belongs to people far smarter, far more famous and far richer than me. If I can one day be involved in it besides being a fan, than that would be good. Because Allan (the dude who wrote the ever amazing 304) is my hero . . . fan to writer, that's cool!

So I'm starting a new fan fiction. Because I'm really enjoying working on Season 3 (which will probably be updated on Sunday, it would be tomorrow but I'm out all day, but Sunday should be good) I need a switch from that story line and to do something new and not screen play. So I've switched.

To another in the future fic. About 2 years from now. It's set right after 304, when Derek walked away. Except for Derek really really walked away in this fic. And it's not what I want to happen or what I think will happen. But just an idea that popped in my head.

And it's named after "All I can Do" by Chantal Kreviazuk. Each chapter title is a line from the song.

So enjoy.


Meredith rushed in the front door, out of breath and shaking off the rain that had gathered on her clothes on the short run from the car to the door. Life in Seattle was never dry. And of course the rain wasn't what had made her run inside, because Meredith's life had never been that simple. There were many words that could be used to describe her life and simple had never been one of them.

Lonely, dark, twisted, damaged, confusing, heartbreaking, painful, those words were much more accurate.

But that was life. And if Meredith was good at anything, it was dealing. Or more accurately avoiding all the scary jagged edges her life contained.

"Chris?" Meredith yelled looking around, wondering where he was. He never liked it when she was late. And never really understood how a surgeon's job sometimes ran overtime.

She didn't get a response but heard a loud bang coming from the kitchen. Loud bangs were never a good sign. She contemplated turning around but she knew that would just make it worse.

And the last thing she needed was for anything to be worse than it already was.

So she walked towards the kitchen trying not to wince at what was probably coming.

"Oh look who's finally home," her boyfriend of a year and a half commented in a more the rude tone. Meredith never liked that tone.

"Sorry Chris, my patient needed . . ." Meredith tried to explain.

But Chris cut her off, he always cut her off. "I don't care about your fucking patient. I'm your man and you were supposed to be home making me dinner."

"Chris, I couldn't . . ." Meredith tried to explain away a battle she knew she was going to lose.

"Did I say I wanted to hear it? No. Cook me my meal."

"I'm tired." Meredith didn't usually argue this much with him. But she could feel something inside her about to break. And that something scared her. Someone as broken as she was shouldn't be able to break more.

"Tired? And I'm hungry. Get to your real job."

And then it happened.

Exactly what Meredith had known would happen the second she threw back on her watch after scrubbing out and noticing she was running half an hour late.

Meredith felt the sting across her cheek as his hand connected with her skin. After all the hits Meredith always figured she would get used to it, but that never managed to happen. She blinked back tears as he stormed out of the room.

She was a surgeon. She had gone to one of the best med schools in the country. She had aced her high schools and although she had partied a lot in college she managed to get high enough marks for acceptance to med school. Meredith Grey was a smart woman. She knew life wasn't supposed to hurt this much.

And yet it did.

She knew if her friends had any idea of how painful her life had become they would come rescue her. She didn't have to suffer. George would let her cry on his shoulder and he would listen. Izzie would bake something and try so hard to be helpful even if the story made her heart break. Alex would give Chris bruises that made the ones Meredith had acquired look friendly. And Cristina, well Meredith didn't want to imagine what torture Cristina would put Chris through. Meredith knew her friends would rescue her.

But Meredith had never been a girl that liked being rescued.

Her eye caught her reflection in the window and even in the dark reflection she could see the redness of her cheek. The redness that would turn into yet another bruise to cover up the next morning. Thank god for Deluxe Beauty.

Recently she had been thinking maybe that she really needed rescuing after all.

Because she had always planned for a less than perfect life. After the childhood she had she wasn't about to expect a happily ever after. But she had always assumed that she would at least a content ever after. And this wasn't that.

She didn't blame Chris. He loved her. He just had an amazingly bad temper and she always managed to find the ways to push his buttons. And it hadn't started that way. She had met him about 2 years ago at Joe's. He had actively chased after her for six months till she finally gave him a shot. Which was big step considering the fact the night they met may have been the worse of her life. But they found each other. And for six more months they were happy. And then one night it had changed everything. She had said something in her sleep that he hadn't liked. And then next morning they had fought and he had hit her. It never got worse than one hit at a time. He had never sent her to the hospital, never done anything more than bruise her. So she put up with it.

She was getting too tired to put up with it much longer.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy, someone who isn't going to complicate your life, someone who will never hurt you.


She missed Derek.

And he was right. As always he was right. She deserved someone who made her happy. She deserved an uncomplicated life. She deserved someone who would never hurt her.

As she gingerly wiped a tear off her painful cheek she knew she had to get out. This wasn't the life she wanted. She didn't know what the life was anymore, but this pain wasn't it. And it's not the life Derek had wanted for her. And Derek had loved her. She needed to get out.

But she didn't need rescuing. Not from her friends. Not from her bosses. And not from Derek.

For once, Meredith had to rescue herself.

Okay, that was slightly shortish but it was more of an epilogue than an actual chapter. Set up where Meredith is now and how much she's hurting. I hope I captured the abuse bit well. I've never been abused in my life, and my boyfriend never even yells. So it's not from personal experience or anything like that.

And he's named Chris. Because I started writing this when Finn was making our life hell (it's only posted now because Der walking away worked with my plot line so well . . .which is the second time they've done something on the show to make my fic work better.) And I don't like Ellen's real life boyfriend Chris. I figure Ellen mixes bad with Chris. So there you go, character named.

And where's Derek? Well I know where Derek is, you will all find out next chapter.

The drill . . .read, love, review!