OK this chapter is not for children or for people easily offended or those who don't like reading cures words. Heavy cursing, please don't report me. THis is the warning. ok so enjoy.
Kurenai shook herself out of her daze, making a note to herself to look up alien abductions later. "Right, lets meet back here tomorrow at nine. Other than that, we're done for today."
"About fucking time! Come on my lord, time to take a nice long bath. And if you are a good pussy maybe I'll get you a nice fish afterwards how's that sound? Pussy want some fish? Pussy want to play nice in the bathy wathy?" Hinata picked Harry up and preceded to baby talk him until they were out of sight of her team.
"Sensei," Kiba said in a small voice. "Sensei I'm scared."
"I am also feeling a little… apprehensive right now." Shino put in, Kurenai was fascinated to note that his hands were trembling slightly despite his calm tone of voice.
"Me too boys me too." Who would have thought underneath all the stuttering and blushes was a cursing bitch. It was going to be a long time before they got over this shock. Kurenai only hoped that Hinata would never meet Anko. The village may never recover.
Harry performed a simple language charm to allow Hinata to understand him. Oddly enough there were charms to let you understand every animal except snakes, they weren't widely used because most animals didn't have much to say.
"You know, Hinata, I really don't like being called a part of female anatomy." Harry informed the slightly (i.e. very) demented girl.
"Piss off diva dyke. What's the big deal, you know I only said it to mess with the goody two shoes I have to team up with. But I'm sorry if I messed with your manly sensibilities. I'll be sure to tell them just how big of a dick you are the next time I see them." Hinata said with mock solemnity.
"Suck a big one bitch." Harry sang cheerfully while glaring at her playfully.
"I'd only bite it off, then where would you be." Hinata smirked down at the evil kitten from hell she was holding in her arms.
"You are one screwed up little girl." Harry informed her dryly.
"So says the cat that fantasizes about a fourteen year old boy." Hinata shot back.
"Screw you fucking cock sucking bitch!" Harry growled out while kneading his claws in her arms.
"Not if you were the last little pussy in Konoha, love." Hinata sang while prying Hurry's claws away from her flesh.
"Put me down! I feel violated!" Harry yelped as Hinata's hands came dangerously close to certain parts of his body.
With out warning Hinata dropped him to the ground unmindful of Harry's glare as he barely managed to land on his feet. "So kitty-kun how did Naruto do? And where is the little blondie, shootin' shit with his new morons?" Hinata asked as she followed Harry back towards town. A civilian woman gave her an odd look for talking to a cat, Hinata hissed at her. Harry rolled his eyes at her antics then pulled a dismal face at her question.
Hinata laughed, "Did his team even pass?" At Harry's nod Hinata gave out a loud snort. " Ha! Seriously, because who ever thought it would be a good idea to let Sasuke and Sakura train to be shinobi must be seriously disturbed in the head. They aren't fit to even break boulders by smashing their heads repeatedly against them! I almost feel sorry for Naruto for being stuck with them, but then I imagine how funny it will be to hear him whine about them and I can't help but laugh." Hinata said as she let out an evil cackle.
Privately Harry was amazed that Hinata hadn't been found out by now. For some reason everyone still thought of her as a shy blushing wall flower who stuttered and played with her hands. No one noticed her evil cackles or the way her face would heat up in anger, or the way she would change what she was saying mid-word so she wouldn't curse them. Only the occasional Anbu who was passing by off duty noticed that her hand movements were actually curse words, many, many graphic curse words. Thankfully, while they were shocked motionless, they never felt the need to alert anyone else to Hinata's cursing ways. And no Hyuuga clan Anbu wanted to be the one to rat her out to her father. Harry was also thankful that Hinata's father was never Anbu or he would have been in big trouble years ago.
"So where is the dream team?" Hinata asked looking around as if they would pop up out of the street or from an alley just because she asked (it could happen they were ninjas).
"I left them at Ichiraku's, by they way did you know Hatake Kakashi was allergic to cats?" Harry asked with a sly smirk.
An unholy grin lit up Hinata's eyes into fiery infernos. "No I didn't know that Harry. Thank you for telling me about it, just think what if I hadn't known that and sent thirty cats to his house as a 'good luck being a teach,' present? Or to help him get well after a grueling mission. Why it would have almost killed him!"
Harry could see the evil cockroaches spinning the cogs in her brain (she used to have a hamster… until the cockroaches ate it). "Now, now Hinata. There's no need to kill him. Try to remember that he is supposed to be teaching Naruto."
"Rrrrright, so if he doesn't teach Naruto anything, then we can kill him." She said hopefully holding Harry up so she could look into his eyes.
"Of course." Harry purred out. After all it's not murder if they chose to neglect his Naruto causing him to fly into a homicidal rage. At least that's how he saw it.
Hinata lifted Harry into her arms and buried her face into his soft side. "Harry-kun I love you!!" She squealed in a parody of a normal teen girl. "If only there was something I could do for you to show how much. I know what about a nice home cooked meal from yours truly?" Hinata said in a sickly sweet tone, a disturbing smile curling the corners her lips (Harry was strongly reminded of the children of the damned, an apt description of Hinata now that he thought of it).
"I won't eat your food." Harry deadpanned.
Instantly, Hinata went from loving to homicidal rage. "Damn it Harry eat my food!" She shrieked while shaking him viciously. "Naruto always has ramen with him so I can never offer him any of mine. Damn artery-clogging crap! So you have to eat it!"
Harry was quickly becoming dizzy. "I will not let you test that biohazard you call food on me woman! I'm not immortal you know!? I don't want to die anytime soon!" Harry managed to say somewhat audibly. The shaking didn't really help. He also didn't want to inform her that those ramen cups rarely held ramen as Harry had charmed the contents of most of them away and had replaced them with more nutritious substitutes more often than not.
Hinata snorted in disgusted and dropped Harry to the ground. Thankfully as a cat Harry always lands on his feet, unfortunately that doesn't stop his feet from hurting on impact. "How am I supposed to test my food poisoning skills if even animals won't touch my food?"
"How are you going to poison anyone if they won't even eat your food in the first place?" Harry growled out as he shook the dirt from his fur.
Hinata looked like someone had hit her over the head with a light bulb and she had smashed it back into their face (very scary). "You… are a genius! No wonder I worship you."
Harry looked like he had single handedly destroyed the world, understandable since he kinda did. "Oh… shit!" He said tonelessly.
"What did you do now?" A familiar voice drawled from behind the two.
Harry's tail started to sway in excitement. "Naruto! Save me!" Harry cried as he launched himself into Naruto's warm arms. For a moment Harry let himself bask in his oblivious love's embrace.
Naruto scowled at Hinata. "And just who have you been tormenting this time? For someone who wants to keep a low profile, you sure like showing your true colors a lot."
Hinata pouted. "What's wrong with wanting to have a little fun every once in a while? Satan! (Hinata refused to say god or Jesus, since it would be acknowledging those demon hating religionists, in support of her demon friends) I can't wait until the chunin exams so that I can finally show my true colors! (the little performance from earlier already slipped from her crooked little mind) When are the next chunin exams exactly?" Hinata addressed Harry.
Harry just tilted his nose into the air. "How the hell would I know that?"
Hinata snorted. "Please. Like you didn't sniff out when all the promotional exams would be since Naruto first told you he wanted to be Hokage."
Harry glared at Hinata and contemplated launching himself onto her face and scratching out her precious eyes, when the face of an angel filled his vision.
"Did you really find all that out, for me?" Naruto asked with an awed and pleased expression.
Harry couldn't stay mad while gazing into those clear blue eyes. "Yes. I would do anything to make sure your dream comes true." Harry manfully ignored the disgusted snort that came from Hinata, along with something that sounded distinctly like the crack of a whip. Reminding himself that he was the bigger man in all senses (no matter how big of a set Hinata had, she was still female so nyaaa), he decided to ignore her taunting and give her the answer. "The next exams are in eight months, and will be held here for once."
"Sweet!" Hinata exclaimed while pumping her fist. "How fucking lucky could we be, huh? Testing on our home turf and against foreigners and pussys. And not even having to put up with a year of lame ass 'missions.' Can't wait!"
Harry rolled his eyes. "There's less than 30% chance that your jounin instructors will enter either of you into this year's exam. More than likely you'll have to wait for the next one that will be two years after this one give or take a few months and allowing for potential wars."
Hinata gaped at him. "But…but that's bullshit!"
"That's life!" Harry shot back. Then he turned to see how Naruto was taking it.
Naruto, who really wasn't as dense as he pretended (still had to break that habit), was actually taking the news pretty well. He gave a foxy grin at Harry, "It'll be fine. That will just give us more time to prepare so that when we do enter the exams we'll really give those idiots something to talk about."
Harry couldn't stop a purr from emerging, even Hinata had a gentle smile on her face. At least until she realized what she was doing, then she proceeded to punch Naruto to the ground sure that it had been his fault that she had acted like a wuss.
From there the night disintegrated into shouting matches and fist fights only stopping to eat the wonderful dinner Harry made (Hinata never passed up an opportunity to eat his meals even if it did mean not fighting while eating, and getting home late, especially if it meant getting home late), and when Hinata finally left for her home at around eleven.
"Got to love that girl." Harry murmured from beside Naruto as they both watch from the window as Hinata walked from sight.
"Really cause from the way you two get along I'd say you hate her." Naruto said with a smirk.
Harry looked affronted. "Of course not! We are just playing. After all she is my best pupil ever. I have taught her well. Remember when she used to be such a meek little thing, afraid of her own shadow?"
Naruto nodded sadly. "Yeah. What happened?" He said it so dejectedly and with a slight frown pulling at the corners of his mouth, but Harry saw the teasing in his eyes.
He gently nudged Naruto's shoulder with his own. "Brat. Besides you she is my best friend in Konoha."
"…that is so sad." Naruto deadpanned after a pointed pause.
Harry playfully growled and lunged for Naruto. "Brat! Get back here! I'll show you who's sad!" Harry threatened playfully as he tried to get a hold on a squirming Naruto.
Naruto was laughing hard as Harry started tickling him mercilessly. "Stop! Stop! I take it back! I take it back!" Naruto cried out as Harry manages to pin him and really started tickling him.
Harry grinned and ruffled Naruto's hair before letting him up. "That's right you will never defeat me! Now get to bed. You have a mission waiting for you in the morning and it will most likely involve manual labor, so you'll need your strength."
"Yeah, yeah." Naruto sassed before heading to his room to change and get ready for bed. Naruto poked his head out of the room to look at Harry. "Are you coming?" He asked once again sending Harry's mind into the gutter.
Harry coughed then nodded, causing Naruto to smile happily before disappearing into his room. A few minutes later, Harry followed him.
Coming within sight of the Hyuuga compound, Hinata visibly changed. Instead of the confidently deranged girl she really was, with head held high and eyes gazing straight forward while she swaggered along, it was as if she was gathering that all within herself like a deadly secret. Her shoulders hunched in and her back curved as she hung her head. She took small hesitant steps and her hands started to fiddle at her sides or her jacket or each other. The only clue that she was more that what she appeared, a quiet shy girl with no confidence or self esteem, was her eyes. To those who looked closely her eyes glowed with unholy mirth and hidden annoyance and rage.
With her new demeanor Hinata walked into the compound and set herself on the uickest course to her room. Anyone she passed didn't say a word to her let alone look at her. She was almost in the relative privacy of her room when she heard her name called.
Turning, she glanced up at the imposing face of her father. "Hinata you are late. You may have been able to pass the genin exam but that does not earn you the privilege of doing whatever you want and breaking the rules I have laid down." He stared down at his seemingly meek daughter, with her bowed head clasped hands and a slight shaking in her frame. "Come I will personally train you to see what improvement if any you have made since the last time to warrant you managing to graduate." And with that he turned his back and began to walk towards the training room expecting her to follow.
Hinata held in a groan. If she was lucky her father would let her go to bed some time before dawn, if not she would be lucky to get even a few hours of sleep before her mission tomorrow. She was not looking forward to the next couple of hours.
Side Story Side Story Side Story Side Story
Kakashi wondered what he was doing as he stared at the nondescript shinobi bar. Sure it was tradition for all the appointed teachers to meet at the bar and talk about their new teams. The teachers with failing teams would buy drinks for the ones who had teams that passed.
Kakashi really didn't want to talk about his team, neither did he want flak for actually passing a team. So why was he here again? And then he remembered, his team passed, free drinks. So he entered the bar.
Kurenai sighed to herself as her best friend Anko dragged her to the bar for the traditional exam story swapping and free drinks. Anko insisting on taking her because this year they would actually get free drinks since Kurenai's team had passed.
But what could she say about her team. At first they seemed fairly normal and a good all around tracking team, with few if any emotional baggage. Then came a small black cat and her image of the team was shot to hell. The little Hyuuga heiress, the shy, quiet Hinata, turned into a more clothed version of Anko. Kurenai decided the only way she would make it through the night intact was to lie her ass off and hope the others got to drunk to notice. Good thing she brought all the money from her last mission, it was being used for a good cause.
An Hour Later
"Hey Kakashi you haven't bought a round yet. Don't you want to support your fellow jounins unlucky enough to be saddled with a team of genin?" A random shinobi asked.
Kakashi snorted. "Ha, not this year. This year my drinks are free." Instantly the air was full of questions and exclamations.
"The Hatake Kakashi passed a team?!"
"He must have a serious prodigy on the team!"
"Who's he teaching?"
"My little girl's on his team. Little Sakura 'hic' all growed up and assigned a jounin sensei 'hic' I membered the times she was just thiiiis big …" One man said holding his hands close together and squinting at them as if he couldn't quite see them clearly.
Kakashi made note to memorize this man's face as one of the parents the only non orphan had. He also made note that apparently he couldn't hold his liquor at all since he was slurring after only four saucers of sake, most shinobi could make it through a bottle or two before showing visible signs of drunkenness.
"He's got the Uchiha on his team."
"So that's why he passed them!"
"That Uchiha is a genius, he's going to be one of the best!"
"Yeah right, the little brat doesn't deserve special treatment just for his name! Remember his brother?"
"You didn't pass them just because of the Uchiha did you Kakashi?" Finally everyone fell silent as they waited for the answer.
Kakashi sighed, what was he going to do he couldn't tell them the truth. That Naruto blackmailed him into passing the team and somehow managed to steal his bells without him even noticing they were missing. So he decided to lie and lie and lie some more. Did he mention lying?
"Well this morning I was feeling a little uneasy about the exam so I sought out a fortune teller and she told me to stay away from blondes or I would suffer a severe consequence. Then I was late to the practice field since there was a ladder with a blonde farmer in the middle of the road and I had to take a different route. "
At this point many of the listeners let out a groan knowing that Kakashi was feeding them a pile, but most were willing to listen just for the entertainment value.
"When I got to the training grounds I remembered that one of my genins was blonde so I quickly told them about the bell test then got as far from the blonde as I could, but unfortunately running from the blond caused me to trip over an old and forgotten trap. I fell hit my chin on a rock and blacked out. When I came to they were holding the bells and commenting on their teamwork. I had no choice but to pass them or else they would think I was an unfair teacher and complain to the scary dolphin in charge of the academy."
Kakashi nodded to himself, quietly proud of the story he had come up with at only a moments notice. He really was quite the storyteller when he wanted to be, why he could create a story almost as well as Jiraiya the author of his favorite book series Icha Icha. Yes, he could see it now, him and his idol creating a book together on a level with Icha Icha, it was his most secret dream…
"Pfftht! What a load! Your so full of it 'hashi 'ensei, ish commin out ob bosh shides… hic…" One particularly drunk Shinobi slurred, almost falling from his stool. "Wash the reeeal stoweeee?"
Kakashi glared at the obscenely drunk man, supremely pissed that he was pulled from his daydream. "You want the truth?" He asked in a deceptively quiet tone. The drunk and several others around him nodded. "You can't handle the truth!!" He barked out successfully making the drunk fall from his stool and onto the floor where he promptly passed out on.
"Enough with the Uchiha team, its obvious Kakashi will never tell the truth, and I want to hear about the other teams." Someone sitting near Kurenai called out while smiling flirtatiously at her.
Kurenai inwardly groaned. As the night had progresses it had look less and less likely that she would have to talk about her team which was just fine with her. And now this idiot drew the attention away from Kakashi and onto her and the other Jounin instructors. Really some people are just begging to be put out of their misery!
"Yes, I wish to hear about the other YOUTHFUL teams to have been passed. Three new teams in one year! The FLAMES of this year's genin must burn brightly indeed! Asuma, Kurenai tell us of your bright and youthful students!" Three guesses who shouted THAT out.
Asuma shrugged before downing a saucer of sake. "I've got the new Ino-Shika-Cho team, they'll probably become a team like their parents. They already work well together since they've known each other all their lives. I think they'll become a good ninja team with time."
Everyone groaned at his short and boring description of his team, even if it was accurate. Kurenai swore she could feel everyone swing their gazes onto her, hopeful looks in their eyes.
Downing the sake in her cup, refilling it, then downing that too, she was finally able to screw up enough courage to say something about her team. "I've got a Hyuuga, Inozuka, and Aburame, so we're basically a tracking team. They're quiet for the most part Except that Inu kid, he doesn't know when to shut up. They get along for the most part and I believe they will be a credit to the village one day. I knew what I was getting and so far they haven't sprung me any surprises."
There were snorts of derision and sighs of disappointment. "Of course you have the boring team. What else could you have with an Aburame and the anti-Hyuuga. Even the Inozuka kid is nowhere near as annoying as the demon brat." Everyone laughed and started reminiscing on some more memorable teams of which Iruka's team, the Sanin and Ibiki's team all came up.
Kurenai muttered under her breath, "I wish."
Unfortunately her best friend who also happened to be the resident sociopath heard her little comment. Anko just decided to keep the tidbit in mind for questioning later, when she wasn't to drunk to appreciate the blackmail-err-story.