Title: Mountain Dew Anonymous

Genre: Humor/Action/Adventure

Rating: PG

Warnings: Nothing major.

Summary: Welcome to MDA, that's Mountain Dew Anonymous, for those who have abuse problems with Mountain Dew. We have a new member today and his name is Danny Fenton.

Serena: xD I got this idea while listening to this song called Mountain Dew Anonymous by KJ-52. If you've never heard this song before, then you really need to. I have a link posted up in my recently updated profile that has the link to where you can listen to the song. You need to have RealOne Player to listen to it though, anyway, I couldn't get the song out of my head and then I was like "I should write a really long one-shot about this song!" As a side note, I had eaten sugary ice-cream before writing this and I was also drinking Mountain Dew while writing this so...XD lol...you understand. Oh and I'm trying to work on my other story called Ivy, but I've gotMAJOR WRITER'S BLOCK! Note how that was in all caps...anyway...on with the one-shot!

Danny: You have to do the disclaimer first, Serena. -.-;;

Serena: Oh...right...well...go ahead. Do it, Danny.

Danny: Alright. Serena does not own Danny Phantom or anything related to it. That would belong to Butch Hartman and the song Mountain Dew Anonymous is by KJ-52. There, now they can read the story.

Serena: (frowns and throws empty Mountain Dew bottle away) My Mountain Dew bottle is empty. I gotta get another! XP

Danny: No way! That was your 10th bottle! (confiscates rest of Mountain Dew bottles) I'm cutting you off.

Serena: 0.o Nooooooooooooo! Not my stash of Mountain Dew bottles! Gimmie my Mountain Dew back! I need it or I'll explode! Do you want me to explode!

Danny: You won't explode and no, I'm not giving the Mountain Dew back.

Serena: You just want it for yourself! You closet Mountain Dew addict drinker!

Danny: I resent that! It's not true! It's a lie! LIES!...(runs off with Mountain Dew) XD MUAHAHAHAHA! IT"S MINE! Okay! I'm an addict! I'll admit it! I gotta just have it!

Serena: I knew it! I knew you were addicted to Mountain Dew! (looks at readers) You guys can read the story now and while you guys do that, I'm gonna rescue my Mountain Dew! (chases after Danny) Stop you Mountain Dew theif!

(A/N: I highly recommend listening to the song that I have a link to on my profile before reading this story, that way, you'll understand how the characters in here are talking. Note: I changed some of the lyrics to fit my needs.)

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Title: Mountain Dew Anonymous

By: Serena

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"Hello, everyone! Welcome to MDA, that's Mountain Dew Anonymous, for those who have abuse problems with Mountain Dew. We have a new member today and his name is Danny Fenton." a man named Derek, who was about the age of 35 with teal colored eyes and slick, jet black hair who was wearing a light brown jacket and pants with a white shirt, announced to everyone in the group. Everyone in the group said hi to Danny. "Danny, please introduce yourself."

Danny was sitting in a seat in between Sam and Tucker with his head in his hands. Sam had Valerie sitting next to her and Valerie had Jazz sitting next to her. Tucker had Clockwork sitting/floating next to him and Clockwork had Vlad sitting next to him. Danny took his head out of his hands and began talking in a comically upset voice.

"My name is Danny and I'm addicted to Mountain Dew."

"Tell us a little bit about it." Derek said.

Danny stood up and began telling his story while walking around the room.

"Ohh, I don't know what to do,
I'm addicted to Mountain Dew,
And when I start drinking over two,
People say to me, "What's wrong with you, man?"
I start acting totally crazy
cause the caffeine and the sugar make my head all hazy.
I'm feeling like there's nothing I can do,
And it's just what I'm gonna say to you."

Danny sat back down in his seat after sharing his feelings and put his head back in his hands.

"Danny, I know that it's hard to talk about it." Derek said.

"It is. It's hard." Danny replied.

"But part of recovery is talking about how it began. Tell us how this started."

"Well, it all started while I was doing a chore,
I needed something so I went to the store
Then I loaded up and I bought like four
And I just kept taking more and more!"

Danny stood up and started pacing again.

"Then all of a sudden it happened to me
For some unknown reason I couldn't fall asleep
It could've been the sugar or maybe the caffeine
I'm not really sure, but I started to scream!"

Danny sat back down again.

"I know that was painful to talk about, Danny." Derek said.

"It was so painful. I'm sorry."

"But you can over come this addiction."

"I can?"

"Yes. You just have to admit that you have a problem."

Danny stood back up and walked around the room again.

"I have a problem and I just can't help it
Somebody help, I think I'm addicted,
Everyday I gotta just have it,
I can't help it, it's just a habit
I've got a problem, I get it.
I'm an addict, I'll admit it
And I promise that I'm gonna quit it
Hey, that Mountain Dew over there, anybody gonna finish it?"

"Mountain Dew!" the other group members exclaimed.

"Now, everyone, you need to calm down and not freak out." Derek said in his calm voice.

"It's mine!" Sam exclaimed as she leaped out of her chair and raced to the bottle.

"No, it's mine!" Valerie also exclaimed as she too ran towards the bottle of Mountain Dew.

Both Sam and Valerie made it to the bottle of Mountain Dew at the same time and each grabbed it with one hand.

"Let go, Grey!" Sam yelled.

"No! You let go, Manson!" Valerie yelled back.

"Sam, Valerie, you need to let go of the Mountain Dew." Derek said while losing the calm in his voice.

They then started waging an all-out war with the prize being the Mountain Dew. While Sam and Valerie were literally beating each other into a bloody pulp, Tucker took that opportunity to take the bottle of Mountain Dew.

"It's mine! My precious!" Tucker yelled out while running towards the door to leave the room. He didn't make it far though because at that moment Jazz ran in front of him and blocked the exit.

"Tucker, you can't do this! Just think about what you're doing. If you walk out of this room with that bottle, your addiction to it will control you forever!" Jazz told him.

Tucker actually thought about what Jazz said for a moment. She had a point...but who cares! Mountain Dew was too good to give up!

"I know. Don't care!" he told her. "Now, get out of my way!"

Tucker tried to push Jazz to the side, but found out real quick that Jazz had no intention of letting him leave that room with that Mountain Dew bottle. Jazz grabbed hold of the Mountain Dew bottle.

"I don't think you understand, Tucker. The precious is mine!" she shouted as she and Tucker started a tug-of-war to get the bottle.

"No way! The precious doesn't belong to you! It's mine I say!" Tucker yelled while giving the bottle a hard tug.

"It will never be yours!" Jazz yelled while also giving the bottle a hard tug.

"Tucker, Jazz, let go of the bottle." Derek said in an agitated voice.

Derek was ignored and this bout of yelling and tugging lasted for a few minutes until Jazz managed to pull it free from Tucker's grasp. She held it up in the air and ran away from Tucker.

"I told you the precious would never be yours!" she shouted.

"And it will never be yours either, child!" the voice of Vlad yelled.

Jazz suddenly found that her precious bottle of Mountain Dew was gone. She stopped running and looked up to discover that Vlad had transformed into Plasmius. He hovered in the air while holding the bottle.

"Vlad, put the bottle down." Derek said loudly.

"Victory is mine!" he shouted .

"Guess again, Cheesehead!" Danny, now in his ghost from, shouted to Vlad.

Danny body slammed Vlad into the wall where he hit his head and was knocked out. The force of the impact made Vlad drop the Mountain Dew bottle which Danny quickly caught.

"The precious is mine and nobody else's!" Danny shouted.

At that moment, Clockwork floated over to Danny.

"Hand over the bottle." He demanded.

Danny sent Clockwork a glare that plainly said, "No."

"The bottle isn't yours. It doesn't belong to you so give it to me and nobody gets hurt." Clockwork said in a very out of character way.

"Make me." Danny said simply.

Clockwork growled. "You always learn the hard way."

Clockwork then did something that he would normally never ever do: he hit Danny on the head with his staff. Danny's grip on the bottle loosened, but he didn't drop it. Clockwork grabbed the bottle and tried to tug it away from Danny, but Danny quickly regained a good grip on the bottle and wouldn't let go. The two then started doing what Tucker and Jazz had been doing previously.

"Clockwork, Danny, drop the bottle now!" Derek yelled at them.

They didn't listen of course. They continued to play tug-of-war with the bottle when Jazz and Tucker grabbed the bottle as well and began tugging to get it. Meanwhile, while Sam and Valerie had been fighting, they hadn't noticed that the precious Mountain Dew bottle had been snatched away and didn't realize it until Sam managed to knock Valerie out by hitting her in the back of the head with a book she found on the ground. Both of them had cuts and bruises from their fight so you can guess that their fight was brutal. Derek would have stopped their fighting but when two girls get into a fight, you never ever try to stop them. That and he was too focused on where the bottle was. Anyway, back to Sam. She stood up with a smile of victory on her face. It instantly fell when she discovered the rightfully-hers-precious was gone. She looked over at the other side of the room and saw the tug-of-war that was going on between Danny, Clockwork, Jazz, and Tucker. She also noticed that they were right in front of an open window. She shook her head. She couldn't. It was wrong, but after a moment, she grinned evilly. Oh, she could do it. It would win her the precious after all. She quietly walked over to the fussing friends. None of them noticed she was there except for Danny, but he was too busy trying to rescue the precious that he didn't say anything to her. 1...2...3! Sam roughly pushed the group towards the window. Jazz fell out of the window, but grabbed Clockwork's arm which made him fall out the window as well. He grabbed Tucker's shirt which made him fall out the window, but Tucker managed to grab hold of the window sill with on hand while the other held the precious Mountain Dew bottle. He held it up in the air proudly.

"The precious is finally mine!" He shouted.

Danny stuck his head out the window.

"Tucker, are you okay?" Danny asked.

"I sure am!" he answered in happiness.

"Oh. Okay!" Danny said as he grabbed the bottle, shut the window, changed back into his human form, and walked away.

The sound of someone falling and crashing into something could be heard. Now, the only people left were Danny, Sam, and Derek, who was currently too upset to speak at the moment. Danny got as far as getting out the door and to the steps leading down to the ground floor when Sam got in front of him and blocked his way.

"Alright, I beat up Valerie and pushed two people and a ghost out a window from the second floor of a building." Sam informed Danny. "And now I want that Mountain Dew bottle because I earned it!"

Danny just stared at her and blinked. He looked at the bottle and then looked at her again. He had a question he needed to ask her.

"Sam?" Danny asked. "Are you pregnant?"

Sam blinked. That was an odd question to ask.

"Of course not. Why would you-AHHHHHHH!"

Before Sam could finish her question, Danny pushed her down the stairs. She fell all the way down to the ground floor. She wasn't badly injured just upset that she didn't see that coming. After all, she did try to push him out the window too. Danny was about to walk down the stairs when Derek suddenly appeared behind him. Derek cleared his throat and Danny turned around to face him.

"Danny, let go of the bottle." he said simply.

"No."

"Let go of the bottle!" Derek yelled.

"Never!" Danny yelled back.

"Danny, BACK AWAY FROM THE MOUNTAIN DEW! I AIN"T PLAYING WITH YOU, MAN!" Derek shouted loudly as he lunged at Danny which caused them both to tumble down the stairs. Unfortunately for Sam, she hadn't had a chance to move yet.

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"911. What seems to be the problem?" a female voice said into a headphone.

"We need ambulances at 314 Terrance Street." the voice of a male police officer said into a cellphone. "We have three females and four males in need of medical attention."

"I'll get right on that. What happened?" the woman asked.

The officer at the other end of the line was silent.

"Did something bad happen?" the woman asked nervously.

"No." the officer said sighing. "There was an MDA meeting and-"

"That wouldn't happen to stand for Mountain Dew Anonymous, would it?" the woman asked.

"Yes."

The officer heard the woman sigh in aggravation.

"Oh, God. Not again." was all he heard her say before hanging up.

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Serena: And there it is folks! My long and retarded one-shot! XP I hope it wasn't too bad...but I needed to get this out of my system so...XD Crap, this was stupid, but I liked it personally. Anyway, please review if you haven't already. I'll try to get the next chapter to my story Ivy posted soon. I've got some of it written already, but I want it to be a long chapter to make up for not updating sooner. Since I'm doing that though, that means that the next chapter I post will either be the last or next to last chapter for that story. Anyway, that's all for now folks! X3