A/N: This is very different from the stuff I've written before, but this story just sort of came to me, well actually the ending sort of came to me, and I had to write it down because I couldn't continue my other stories until I got this one done. It's written completely within Cameron's mind, and it's a little dark & twisted. There will be character deaths at the end, so if you don't like that sort of stuff, this isn't a story you'll enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, and if I did I would never, ever let this happen.
She stood alone on the roof of the hospital, and breathed in the crisp, autumn air. Autumn was her favorite season; it always had been. When asked, she would tell people she loved the change in the seasons, loved watching the foliage display it's beautiful colors. It was a load of crap, but it was the sort of thing people expected to hear from her. In truth, she felt most at home in the fall, because it always seemed like the world was dying around her.
Death was an obsession of hers. Nobody knew that, of course. Well, nobody who mattered to her now. She smiled, thoughtfully, as she remembered the high school guidance counselor who had discovered her secret obsession. She remembered his concern, the call to her parents, and the endless discussions that followed. She remembered the hours of therapy she'd been forced to attend, and the time it had taken her to convince the therapist she wasn't suicidal. She just wanted to understand death.
Death was the reason she'd married her husband. She'd loved him, of course, but that wasn't the only reason. She knew he was dying, and it called to her. She had to be there, had to see it first hand. It was nothing like she'd expected. She'd expected the mystery to become clear. It hadn't. What she hadn't expected was the pain, the anguish, of losing her husband. Death did not just affect its victim.
Death was the reason she'd become a doctor. What better way to understand death was there than to choose a career where she could surround herself with it? It was also the reason she chose to apply for the fellowship with House. He cheated death, at every turn. Here was a man who knew the secret, she had thought.
After all her years of medical training, an internship at the Mayo Clinic and two years of working in the best diagnostic department in the country, she was no closer to understanding death. She had begun to think, just recently, that she might never understand death. She'd helped prevent it, or at least slow its course, many times since becoming a doctor. And now, having helped a man die, she still was no closer. Maybe she would never, could never, understand. Maybe not even after she'd died herself.
And now she was dealing with a new obsession. It hadn't begun that way. It had been a crush, in the beginning. Back when she still believed he held the answer. It had developed into an infatuation. And now, that her feelings for him had changed, it was an obsession. One she was slowly losing control over. Not even death itself had held such sway with her. He was a mystery, and she was going to figure him out.