Disclaimer: Does not own Death Note
Yes, I, Light Yagami had never believed in destiny till life threw me a curve ball. A typical day in a classroom, listening to the teacher mumbled about some dead historian when something falls from the sky. A gift from god. No, a gift from god of dead. I was granted the power to take away life. The power to purify and mold the world to fit the one in my vision, one where people can coexist in peace and harmony.
That single word had determined my destiny. I know that fate was testing me when L appeared. Fate was testing me to see if I can overcome obstacle that lies in my path to become the new God of the human world. Things have always been too easy and effortless. Everything was so easy that I can't help but feel like I was wasting away. There was nothing in my way, I was a brilliant student, came from a high social standing family, a handsome guy and in short one would said I was proof that modern life Prince Charming exist.
But L was my first obstacle. L was the first person who dares to block my path to becoming God. For the first time, I saw someone who I would consider equal and that is the highest compliment I had ever pay to another human being. L was brilliant and cunning and thinks just like me. More than once during the investigation to bring down Kira, I can't help but wonder what would happen if I wasn't Kira. What would become of L and me if I wasn't Kira and L wasn't trying to hunt me down?
"Aye, Light-kun,shouldn't be Kira but if he were, I would be in turmoil because Light-kun is the first friend I've ever had."
That baka, how dare he soften my resolution?
And my reply to his blunt statement;
"I also feel that Ryuuzaki is an irreplaceable friend."
At that time I planned to play along with him, but somehow I know that there is more truth in it than I want it to be. How dare he make me want to change my mind of killing him? How dare he make me question myself? Why? It would be so easy to trade half of my life line with Ryuuku and then write down L's real name.
What is this that I feel…a contradicting argument with myself? I want to bring down L. I want to kill L, but deep down I also wonder how I will feel if L was to vanish from my world. Life is like a game of chess and you need two geniuses to create a remarkable game.
Yes, L will be my eternal rival. And for that reason alone, I will not and cannot kill L because than like Ryuuku would say life had become boring if it is too peaceful.
Right? I won't kill L because L makes my life interesting and that is all. Or was there more? Would I dare to dig beneath my own skin and venture the answer to my own despair?
Kira is Light.
I have to be right. Even if the numbers doesn't add up and even if no one believes me, I know I am right. My gut feeling said Light is Kira. Light is the killer. So why do I feel like I am constantly convincing myself. I am convincing myself that maybe just maybe Kira is someone else.
The moment I saw Light I think I was done for. No, I know I was done for. There was a strange aura around him that seems to lure me in. The more time I spend observing him, the more I want him. I want to capture him. I want him to be my prisoner. To me, he was the perfect drug.
I had spent hours watching him pretending to study and even went as far as reading porn. Oh, it was so obvious that he know he was being watch. I know putting on a show for all those days must be dreadful but he was my addiction.
You are my drug …
You are a weakness that I despise…
Yet, I don't want to imagine what life would be like without you. I think I can spend eternity playing this hunter and prey game with you. Except in the end I wonder who the real hunter is and who the real prey is. But I am happy. Ironically, I am happy playing this childish guessing game with you because deep down I want you by my side for all eternity. Does that make me a selfish person? Light, you are the perfect drug that I never want to quit.
A perfect drug that will be the death of me.