Disclaimer: I don't own South Park.

A week had gone by since Stan's last public embarrassment. Fortunately for him most of the school had already forgotten about it. Mister Mackey had talked about it ad naseum for too long already by the time Stanley had gotten revealed as the culprit. With the event seemingly behind him, no pun intended, Stan headed for Kyle's house after school to hang out.

Kyle smiled as he answered the door. "Hey dude! Come on in."

Stan did just that, while returning the "hey" remark.

They sat together on the living room couch. Silence filled the room. Although they had agreed to hang out after school, they had no idea what they were actually going to do together. They were used to winging it like that.

"Where's your parents?" Stan asked. "Maybe they could take us somewhere."

"Nope. They took Ike to some gay kid's movie."

Stan blinked. "Oh. So we have the house to ourselves?"


Stan paused a moment, thinking.

"Um, do they have anything alchoholic?"

Kyle rolled his eyes at the question. "The last thing you need is alcohol. First of all, you're nine! Secondly, look at the stuff you do when you're sober."

"But I feel like getting drunk."

"No you don't."

"I don't?"

"No. You feel like doing something you know you shouldn't do because there are no parents around. Ever since that bathroom thing you've gotten all into the idea of doing wrong stuff that you could get caught for."

Stan shrugged his shoulders innocently. "I've always been adventurous dude."

"Stan, my point is that doing things you shouldn't do has consequences. Next time before you do something you know is wrong and wait to see if you can get away with it, you should think about who you're hurting."

Stan rolled his eyes. "And how is me getting drunk hurting anyone?"

"Like I said, you don't need to get drunk. You do enough fucked up stuff when you're sober."

"Like what?"

"You know, stuff like...pulling a gun on your best friend!"

"Oh come on Kyle, it's not like I shot you or anything."

Kyle furrowed his eyebrows. He repeated Stan to make sure he'd actually heard him correctly.

"It's not like I shot you or anything? God, you're such a dick!"

Kyle glared at Stan. He quickly stood from the couch and whirled around to face his friend. He closed in on him, the anger very apparent on his face.

"What dude?" Stan asked.

"Do you have any idea how that made me feel Stan? Do you have any idea what it did to me? You're supposed to be my best friend, the person I trust more than anybody else, and you put a fucking GUN to my head!"

Stan paused, a bit surprised by this week-late outburst. "Well I'm sorry," he said.

"Yeah, you will be."


Kyle reached into his pants pocket. Stan's eyes widened in shock when he saw a small handgun come back out.


Kyle smirked. "I wonder how it'll make you feel? I wonder if 'I'm sorry' will be good enough for you?"

Stan got up from the couch. He walked backward, away from his gun-wielding pal, until he felt his back touching the wall. Stan was trapped.

"Kyle, I was never gonna shoot you!"

"Then why'd you even pull the gun on me! What's the point if you're not gonna use it?" As he asked the question, he pointed his weapon toward Stan.

"I dont know!

"It was that important to you to keep your secret, wasn't it? It was such a big deal that you actually went out, got a weapon, and thought about using it to shut me up because I discovered the truth! You're my best friend Stan! What the hell!"

"Kyle I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking right okay? All I know is that I didn't want to get caught!"

"Well like I told you, your actions have consequences. The things you do have the potential to hurt people. You hurt our friendship Stan. You hurt me!"

Kyle looked away, closing his eyes as the hurt settled into him. Stan stays put, frozen in fear. He says a silent prayer that Kyle is coming to his senses.

No such luch. Kyle sighed and looked back with a sad frown on his face.

"I can't let you get away with it."

Kyle once again aimed the gun, directing it at Stan's head. Stanley leapt away from the potential shot just in the nick of time. He hoped Kyle couldn't hit a moving target. He tried moving for the door, but everywhere he moved, Kyle kept the gun locked on him.


"You can't run forever Stan. You have to learn your lesson."

"I'll stop doing stupid stuff okay? I swear! Just please stop Kyle!"

Kyle paused again. "How do I know that? You pulled a gun on me! Obviously I can't trust you."

"You can trust me! I swear it!"

"Oh really? Can you say you trust me Stan? Even right now?"

Kyle nodded. "Thought so."

Scared and near tears, Stan pleaded one more time with the redhead.

"Kyle, please, just put the fucking gun down..."

"I'm sorry Stan. You have to learn your lesson."

He once again aimed the gun, this time preparing to hit Stan's chest.

Stan shrieked out, horrified.



A few seconds passed. Nothing. Stan's eyes were closed in fear, but he had clearly heard Kyle pull the trigger. Slowly, he opened one eye. Then the other. He felt his body over for bullet holes, found none, then looked back over to his friend curiously.

Kyle was smirking in great amusement. The gun had gone off, but "BANG" was the word displayed on the white flag the gun had shot out.

"...The fuck?" Stan asked, breathing heavily.

Kyle threw the toy gun down and laughed.

"You actually thought I'd shoot you! Jesus Christ dude!"

"...Yeah I thought you'd shoot me! You looked so fucking psyco!"

Kyle nodded. "I'm a pretty good actor, huh? But do you see my point? You really freaked me out dude. Whatever I just made you feel, you did the same thing to me. I hope NOW you know how it feels!"

Stan nodded. "...Holy crap..."

"And now you're truly sorry for it, right?"

"Totally..." he said. The regret was far more apparent in his voice this time.

"Kyle, I'm really sorry..."

Kyle smiled happily at the apology. It was all he needed to hear. After all, they were best friends.

"All right. We're cool now."

Stan sighed in relief, sitting back down on the couch with his buddy. He still looked a bit shaken up.

Kyle grinned. "You're pretty nervous there. You need some alcohol?"

"No!" Stan insisted.

Kyle nodded. Stan had passed his other test. "Very good."

Stan shook his head clear. "Man, that was scarier than seeing Cartman naked."

"Tell me about it."

"Let's never pull guns on each other again, 'kay?"

"Agreed. Except really obvious water ones."

Silence filled the room again. They still had nothing to do together.

"Hey Kyle?"


"You know what'd be a really wrong thing to do?"

"What's that?"

"Kissing another guy."

FIN! Read and review please. :)