A/N: Once again Role-Players suck. Honestly guys- tell me truly, do I come off as rude and snobbish? Anyhow sorry about the break- my writing depressed me for a while and anything I write at those time typically sucks. I'll try'en keep on track. Give me a kick if i wonder again yeah?

Chapter Ten

JD&Coke

We often choose a friend as we do a mistress - for no particular excellence in themselves, but merely from some circumstance that flatters our self-love.

William Hazlitt



"He's a horrible excuse for a human being and I never do anything to him- he just doesn't like me."

"Why?" Carla gave a quiet grunt prying another staple from JD's shirt and subsequently the wall.

"Because he's a horrible excuse for a human being." JD found it pretty self-explanatory, would've shrugged if his shoulders were at all free for him to do so. Carla wiggled the butterknife under another staple before levering it free.

"Newbie what have I told you about attention seeking behaviour." JD had decided a while ago that seeing Dr. Cox roll up with a bright-blue starred stroller was just never going to loose its amusement value- though the experience was somewhat dampened by his current position.

"I didn't do this to myself."

"Sure you didn't Fat Little Dixie Chick." The stroller was left to sit idle by the wall and another knife joined the one already pulling staples from his shirt.

"I'm not fat… and what're you doing here anyway- it's your day off." Another staple came free and JD could actually move his right arm- which was a marked improvement on ten seconds ago. Damn itchy nose.

"I thought that we just don't get to spend enough time together anymore… Cup-Cake… and so I came in to spend my oh so precious free time- with you. What do ya say we find an empty room and snuggle." Perry said, pulling the last staple from his left sleeve.

"Really?" The minute it left his mouth, JD felt stupid, though in his defence, the way Dr. Cox had been acting lately, it wasn't entirely outside the realm of possibility.

"No- Cindy-Lou, I'm seeing another Paediatrician, I came to ask if you wanted to come. I'm not quite sure why- but I'd wager it has something to do with the alcohol and brain-damage I've no doubt so recently suffered." He ripped the last staple out.

"Oh yeah sure- are you planning on calling this one stupid too?" JD snorted, straightening his shirt.

"This coming from the man who walked out on the last guy before I even got there?"

-.-.-

JD had Jack in his lap, stroller resting, empty by his left knee.

"Jack Daniel… well I guess that figure's for Perry now doesn't it." Dr. Grace was the kind of guy Carla and Elliot would've reverted to a dopey teenaged girl phase for.

JD was incredibly unimpressed. Mostly because the guy didn't have much right to provide question or comment on what Perry decided to call his son.

"What's wrong with Jack Daniel?" It wasn't so much a question as a snappish queue to steer the conversation elsewhere.

"Look I enjoy a JD-N-Coke on a hot afternoon as much as the next guy- but to call a child…"

"A what?" It brought Grace up short and he frowned for a moment before gathering his bearings.

"A JD and Coke… Jack Daniels and Coke… how can you hang out with Perry and not know that that's a drink." JD felt his cheeks colour, one of those 16-year-old girl grins coming on. The conversation he'd had with Carla a few days before coming to mind.

"Jack Daniel… how long did you happy dance over that one?"

"Over what?"

"Jack Daniel… Jack… Daniel… Oh come on JD you can't possibly be that stupid…"

He'd continued to stare at her blankly, really not getting it at the time and eventually Carla had walked away in disgust, never to elaborate on it.

Jack Daniels.

JD.

"It's not a stupid name… you're stupid..." Very teenage girl. Since it wasn't over how dreamy Dr. Stupid looked, JD still felt he had a little dignity left, even if it was somewhat tattered.

-.-.-

"Yeah- but- he… was just… stupid." JD said, coming back to himself.

"How is little Jack Daniel." JD practically cooed, leaning into the stroller.

"Oh Virginia would you stop already- it was a momentary lapse in sanity, you're really reading too much into it." Perry tugged the stroller away from the wall and JD straightened up quickly to avoid getting hit.

"If you say so." JD said dismissively, the two trailing slowly down the hall.

"Don't start with me newbie."

"Come here little JD." JD risked ducking into the stroller again, undoing the buckles around Jack.

"Newbie I will choke you." Perry threatened, pausing as JD lifted his son from his seat. Since JD paid little to no attention though he really could've saved his breath.

"Who's getting to be such a big boy?" JD cooed again and it was met with a disgruntled sigh from Perry.

"Cut the umbilical cord Martha… I beg you."

-.-.-

"See developmentally I think 2 months is a little young to be teaching him how to swear in Russian." Dr Dave Norris explained and much to Perry's disgust JD looked fascinated.

"Well no actually laying the ground work for foreign cursing now is probably a good idea- just don't expect much in the way of results for at least 4 to 6 more months." The man had something of a decent sense of humour, but his interest in JD was somewhat disturbing, bordering on really quite frustrating.

"I think Jack's very advanced though; I mean he figured out how to suck his thumb all by himself." Perry also found it almost sickening how proud JD was of son.

"Thumb-sucking is a crucial milestone." Norris said, leaning against his desk, focused very intently on JD. Perry fought the urge to grind his teeth.

-.-.-

"He was great- don't you think." JD was practically bouncing and Perry was fighting the urge to hurl.

"Norris is a moron." He snapped irritably, JD shifting his armful of books before glaring at him.

"Weren't you in love with the guy like an hour ago?" Perry made a disgusted noise- deciding not to dignify the slight with an actual answer.

"Wait I definitely remember it… I think I can get it- 'Now listen Eleanor Dr. Norris is the best paediatrician on staff… neigh in the city and if you don't stop dragging those ridiculously large heels you insist on wearing cause they just have all the doctors drooling in 3.5 seconds and make me miss this appointment that took for-ever to get-"

"Enough Newbie or I will choke you." Perry frowned.

"Yeah I think that might've been the end of it." JD grinned.

"Seriously though- he seems to really care about his patients and he's…" He paused, wondering how his next comment would be taken.

"Frankly he's you, what's your problem?"

"Oh please he was more focused on your arse than my son." JD made one of those doubtful noises and not for the first time Perry wondered how in the grand scheme of things anyone that stupid could actually get through med school.

"My ass?" JD snorted- actually snorted at him.

"Yes you moron- in fact if Jack and I hadn't been there I'd bet my next pay that he would've been trying to get you to bend over his desk so he could examine your prostate."

"He has a daughter." Halle's laughing at him now- which is more than a little annoying all by itself.

"So do I." Perry snaps- frustrated with the statement as well- honestly how gullible is newbie.

"You…" Only when newbie stops- to grin at him with that oh so stupid questioning expression does he realise what he's said… the context of it.

"…have a son." The flouncing great big girl suddenly says out of the blue- starts walking again.

"Honestly if you can't remember that then there's no hope for you as a father." JD says as they fall back into step together.

"Coming from Jack's over-bearing surrogate mommy I'll take that as a compliment." Because he sure as hell is not going to steer the conversation back towards the awkwardness. Frankly he's not even sure if JD understood the implications of his statement in the first place.