The Sweet Taste Of Ignorance By The Crimson Luna Diviner

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Please don't shoot me!

Rating: M

Genre: Romantic

Summary: Xemnas discovers that Saïx knows absolutely nothing about the more mature shape of love, so he decides to teach him personally. Lemon, Xemnas/Saïx. ONESHOT. May contain slight spoilers.

History: As I've commented before, there are way to few fics about Xemnas and Saïx. This is once again dedicated to everyone who shares my Xemnas/Saïx passion. The last one I made was a bit cruel, so I thought I'd make this a bit more romantic, and add some fluff for an exchange.

I have decided to show them both from a bit more pleasant angle, and I daresay Saïx is very OOC, but hey! Not even he can walk around being so goddamn stoic all day. I bet most people loose their confidence when they're dealing with something completely unknown to them. Now let's kick-start this fic -grins evil-

Oh, by the way: Reader tips#1: If you remember the characters' voices from the game, try imagining them actually saying the shit they do in a fic. Trust me, it makes it much more fun XD.

A completely normal, boring day at the castle in the World That Never Was. Xemnas sighed. If Axel hadn't killed the keyblademaster in their first battle at Castle Oblivion, he'd kept it rather lively around… He sighed again. Life wasn't that fun when no one was out to kill you.

"Is there something wrong Xemnas?" He looked at the berserker walking at his side.

"Yes Saïx. I am extremely bored."

"I don't really think nobodies are able to feel bored," Saïx said, arching an eyebrow. Xemnas gave another sigh. It was starting to become a habit. The next moment a sudden ruckus erupted from the room at the right hand of the hallway. It was Roxas' room, Axel's voice emerging a bit muffled from it.

"I can't believe you're able to sleep for so long! Simply amazing Roxas! But we don't have time for goofing off, because you're my little bitch, got it memorized?" Saïx gave Xemnas a startled look.

"They've been at it like happy gerbils ever since Axel returned from Castle Oblivion," he explained. This only made Saïx even more confused. "Do I have to spell it out for you? They've been having sex about twenty-four hours a day!" He rolled his eyes. Saïx was really clever at any other point, but when it came to this, he was so goddamn slow. A pity really… Seeing there wasn't much to do, most of the members had found entertainment in each other's company. He started counting to himself… the most obvious couple, Axel and Roxas. Then you had Demyx and Zexion, Vexen and Marluxia… he was pretty sure Larxene was two-timing on Luxord and Xigbar, and something was definitely going on between Lexaeus and Xaldin… Couldn't be many left then… lets see. It was himself… and Saïx. He came to a halt in the middle of the hallway as he realised this fact. They were the only two left… A smirk spread across his face. Even wider as Saïx still looked puzzled at the word 'sex'. Perhaps this day wouldn't be so boring after all. He glanced over at Saïx.

"You really don't have a clue, do you?" Saïx frowned. Xemnas didn't use to be that pushy. Was it something he should know? He didn't like it when people got the better of him like that, so he decided to change topic.

"Never mind. You said you were bored? Vexen should be able to tell if it's possible or…"

"I have a feeling Vexen is busy with someone else." Someone? Xemnas never cared about interrupting others conversations? "Besides, I just figured out a way to entertain myself." Saïx sure didn't like that smirk he was given. "Who knows, perhaps even both of us." This last sentence was said in a casual tone, Xemnas finally looking away from him.

"I… I think I'm quite fine, thank you, but I'll surely just get in the way," everything to escape that alarming feeling he was given by Xemnas' tone.

"Oh, I am sure it wouldn't be as fun without you." Xemnas had to bite back an evil laughter. Saïx really didn't have a clue, and he was so sweet with that confused look for a change. They started walking again, but Saïx was now trailing slightly behind his Superior.

"Uhm… If that's so… what is this entertainment of yours?" There was a moment of silence.


Gawd, he wasn't starting off with that again?

"Well… I have no idea what you mean by that," Saïx sighed. He just had to admit it, even though he didn't like it.

"And believe me," Xemnas said. "That will be half of the fun." Fun? They were nobodies, goddamn it! "Just follow me." That alarming smirk on his face all the time.

Xemnas led Saïx to his room. It was a long walk, and it was done in silence. Saïx was getting slightly annoyed by this silence, feeling as if he was treated like a dumbass that didn't know the simplest things of life, something Xemnas was using against him. Thinking about it, this was the first time he ever found himself in a situation like this. At least of what he could remember, anyway, after becoming a nobody and all. He hated it. But then again, Xemnas was going to teach him what it was…

"So… What now?" he asked as they entered the room and came to a halt. Xemnas didn't answer. He merely walked up behind Saïx, laying his arms around his waist, embracing him softly and brushing his lips gently against the Luna Diviner's neck, making him shiver. That alarming sensation rose significantly, and his body went tense. Why the hell was Xemnas, of all people, holding him like this? Yet, it wasn't really bad at all, not when the first shock lifted…

"You are beautiful…" Xemnas murmured.

"W-why are you saying something like that?" Saïx was, to say the least, quite startled.

"Because it's true. And you won't be so insecure," was the answer. Still murmuring. Still uncharacteristically soft…

"And when would I ever feel insecure?" Saïx almost snorted.

"When I take your clothes off"


Xemnas hand found Saïx' zipper. His lips gently kissing Saïx' neck and jaw. Oh, god. What was happening!?!?

"Just relax. I will make sure you enjoy this." And with that, Xemnas pulled Saïx down on the bed, placing himself atop, slowly unzipping his cloak, placing ever so gentle kisses on his bare chest, though he was surprised he didn't get more struggling. But Saïx was in shock. He knew very well what a kiss was and what they'd mean. Though these kisses was different from those he had experienced before. No kiss had ever given him this tension between his thighs. A small part of him wanted Xemnas to kiss him harder. Hell, most of his body screamed for him to stop teasing like this! Xemnas was kissing him. Was it possible he could feel something for him? At least an illusion of emotion? And the next moment, Saïx had pulled Xemnas up to face level and captured his lips in a deep kiss. Xemnas couldn't help but smile at this response, and so he slipped his tongue into Saïx mouth, which, judging by the berserker's surprised look was also new to him, but he sure liked it. Xemnas let his hands wander, feeling every curve of Saïx' strong frame, making him squirm underneath him. He really was beautiful. Saïx simply loved the way Xemnas touched him, but then an unfamiliar thought coursed his mind. He wanted to feel Xemnas. They finally broke their kiss, gasping for breath. Then Saïx put his hands at Xemnas chest, feeling the muscles under the leather, to his shoulders, down his arms and back again, resting a hand on his zipper. He met eyes with his Superior, as if to ask for permission. Xemnas only smirked. At that moment he felt like he'd never deny his Luna Diviner anything. His Luna Diviner. His Saïx. As his cloak slipped down to his elbows, Saïx, having removed his gloves, tracing his bare body with shaking hands, he captured his lips in another kiss, only harder, and deeper this time. Then he removed his own gloves and yanked Saïx own cloak completely off. He went for his pants next, and at this moment, Saïx laid very still, wondering what was to come, a slight blush colouring his pale skin. Xemnas had taken his cloak off too, so it wouldn't get in the way, and threw Saïx' pants to the floor. He bent over his radiant, nude form, whispering softly.

"You truly are beautiful." At this point, Saïx' slight blush became a deep shade of red. "Now brace yourself. This will hurt at first." What now? Saïx wondered feverishly… And then it came. The first finger entered him. God, how he squirmed. But as he slowly got used to it the pain eased and he found it quite enjoyable as Xemnas moved it inside him. But what the hell was he doing? But he didn't get to ask, for as soon as he became comfortable with the first finger, another one entered, this time making him gasp in pain. At this moment Xemnas wondered whether he should wait with going any further. Saïx was used to pain. He had seen him with big flesh wounds without uttering a single sound of discomfort, yet two fingers were enough to make him gasp. He was sweaty and even panting a bit. Xemnas stopped moving.

"Does it hurt too much?"

"N-no… please, don't stop…"

Xemnas smiled, kissed him swiftly and removed the fingers earning a displeasured growl from the berserker. He then slid off his own pants, carefully touching Saïx' opening with his length making him quiver. Whatever happened, Saïx knew this would be at least as painful as everything else, yet he yearned for it in his whole body. He clung to Xemnas' firm shoulders and groaned into his neck as he entered slowly. Saïx had never thought he'd be able to feel so much pain and delight at the same time. It was… euphoric… oh god, how he loved it. And it was Xemnas who made him feel like this. Having his Superior so close to him, inside him, was more than he could ever dream of. Then Xemnas started to move inside him, thrusting slowly, making Saïx moan as he paced up, clinging even harder onto him, now biting into his neck. If they were bound to fade back to darkness, they could make their own little heaven while living. Saïx had just found his. The pain had eased too. Xemnas noticed and went faster by each thrust, though still gentle. But now it was Xemnas who groaned as Saïx grabbed his ass, forcing him into himself as hard as he could, making both release, screaming each other's names. Saïx was once again startled. Xemnas merely pulled him close, embracing him, kissing him. Saïx was shaking against his sweat-drenched body. He knew he'd have to answer a ton of questions once the berserker had regained. But right now they were both silent, and eventually fell asleep in each other's arms.

Saïx yawned… Gawd, he was sore. Xemnas had given him a brief explanation of what they had done yesterday, and he did start to understand a bit better, though he hadn't gone in to details. It was obviously nothing he liked to talk about. Saïx snickered. But then Xemnas had left the castle. He sometimes did that, for whatever purpose no one knew. He said he'd be back soon though.

"Are you alright Saïx? You look fucked!"

It was Zexion. He had just walked onto the living room accompanied by Demyx and Axel finding Saïx lying on a couch, which was reason enough to worry. Saïx never seemed tired. Saïx merely hoisted himself to a sitting position (Ow gawd, he was so sore), and gave him a death glare.

"Oh, touchy!" Axel said, backing away, pretending to be scared.

"Just leave me alone," Saïx grunted.

"Hah! Something did happen last night, didn't it?" Zexion exclaimed. Demyx remained silent in the background, seeing he really was scared of the Luna Diviner, who only glared harder at them.

"It was mean old Xemnas, wasn't it" Axel laughed.

"Don't you speak of our Superior like that!" Saïx said angrily, rising to his feet. It just made Axel laugh even more.

"You know, we should kick out Larxene and her dudes and call ourselves the Organized Gays!" Zexion joined in laughing, none of them noticing how the other two blushed.

So now the others knew. Damn it. Axel and Zexion were sure to let the whole castle know by noon. Saïx hadn't been himself ever since yesterday. Tired of running into the other members, he eventually locked himself up in Xemnas room, sitting on the cold floor leaning his back to the wall, and pulling his knees up to his chest. At that moment, he felt so empty, and this was the only place he'd ever felt whole after becoming a nobody. But this time, Xemnas wasn't there. At least he got to be alone for a few hours. He buried his face in his knees, a single tear slipped down his right cheek. Why? It wasn't as if he could feel sad or anything… He cursed himself for being so weak. At that moment a hand brushed against his skin, wiping away the tear.

"What happened?" The strong voice of Xemnas echoed through the room. He was back. Saïx lifted his head to see him crouch before him, face to face.

"I… it's nothing… I think… I'm still confused." Xemnas sat down by his side, pulled him into an embrace and kissed him lightly at his forehead.

"About what my love?"

Those words seem to pain Saïx even more.

"You know very well we can not love, and that's why I wonder… why me?" Xemnas thought about this for a moment.

"I am not sure. I might not love you, but I know I need you."

"You need someone, and I was the one available. It be ignorance to believe we love each other," Saïx muttered.

"As I said, I am not sure, but I know I don't need anyone else. I know I don't want anyone else." Saïx stared at him.

"Are you certain?"


"Then I can live with a little ignorance," Saïx said, resting against Xemnas and closing his eyes. They sat there for a long time, Xemnas stroking Saïx' hair, kissing him swiftly every now and then.


"Yes my love?" This time Saïx smiled at his title.

"If we ever did get our hearts back, do you think we would have loved each other?"

"Well… I don't know… It doesn't look like we'll ever have our hearts back at all, now that Sora is dead. Who knows when another key bearer will appear? Until then, we are incapable off finishing Kingdom Hearts." Saïx looked up at the dim frame of a giant heart, barely visible through the window and sighed.

"It doesn't really matter," he said. Xemnas gave him a surprised look. He knew Saïx had always wanted his heart back. "Who knows what feelings would come back to us. If I didn't love you, I don't think I could handle it"

"So… It's better not to be able to love, than not loving. Is that what you are saying?" Saïx nodded. Somehow it seemed right. At least they had each other now, and they'd probably never get tired of it. They might not be able to love, but they couldn't hate either. They now understood what the other members of the Organization had so long ago. He had tried to find a way to bring their hearts back, so he had left Saïx alone, and so he found him here, crying as he came back. And as he pulled him into a passionate kiss, he knew where he belonged. Both of them were only half a person, didn't that make them whole together? Perhaps not. They'd always be mere shells of those they once were; yet they were not alone any more. A worthy price, Xemnas thought as he pushed Saïx down on the bed.

They'd never be whole…



My fourth fic ever done : p. Gawd, it feels good!! I was thinking about making it a bit humorous, but as I wrote, I couldn't really see the fun in it. And there was major OOC'ness!! Shit, shit, shit! If I was first going to make it OOC, there could have been more fluff, don't ya think? Well, if people prefer more correct characteristics you should try reading my "Dark Moon". I think I did a better job with that one… humm… But that's up to you reviewers!! Now please push that blue button saying "review". Because that button is a happy-button! You see, it makes me happy!