Indigo

Another challenge, wowie. This time to myself and upon the request of dear Egglette, you asked for Raven POV for a BBRae and you got your wish, tis a bit onesided. Purely short ramble and I couldn't resist…I added a small telltale of Groth. Here is the result of emotionally drained college student. Please enjoy yourselves ladies and gents.

Disclaimer: I own a pumpkin candle…that's about it. Wait, nope, that belongs to my roommate.


-x-

Ignoring him is the best solution to any given problem. An occasional facial twitch may give away the mild emotion beneath the exterior, if you mind calling exasperation theoretically an emotion.

I wish for nothing more than silence. Cavalier…harmonious silence. For it to retract me from reality so that I may live out the rest of my baneful existence without touching anything…with no light, and no lives. Nothing to be fractured from my impending magic, nothing to be contaminated from my influence, nothing to attach unwanted to my intentions.

I couldn't anticipate my friends. I couldn't anticipate what they were willing to risk for me, to keep my cursed existence in their intolerant world.

Or the strength their love could provide for this damned monster.

Or what love even meant to me.

Love is simply another emotion, whether it's real or not, it stays locked in Nevermore with the others, bound by the cages of meditation. As cruel as it may sound.

Cruelty is a necessity, just as the grasp on my devastating demonic powers.

Cruelty is what keeps him in check.

An empath of apathy. How droll.

Love stirred, its innocent beginnings concealed behind a mask of formality, branching out from unavoidable trust.

Trusting my partner, my… companion for our first few years working together. I could not see myself in his life, eventually he would depart from the team we built together, new members to grow into the old, and the cycle of new never-ending. He would desire more, his adventures would take him to limits that would push his very breath out of his lungs, would brink the permanence of his mentality and possibility his mortality. Where his paths would take him was worlds away from mine. Then again, whose world would come close to what I've created?

I am a reader of minds, of auras, of feelings. A telekinetic of great enormity. But not a fortuneteller. I could not tell you what television program would appear in the next several seconds. Frankly because I don't watch television.

He, my leader, my friend, did not love me.

And I never expected him to.

And I never will.

Along other things I should have prepared for, I never anticipated another, someone I thought a nuisance to the universe itself, to let himself become ensnared in my consideration.

I've kept a constant attitude around Beast Boy; one I don't regret revealing, a mixture of frustration, indifference, and insults. To my misfortune, by now, the boy knows my game and responds accordingly, lying in the boundaries of the battlefield and playing by the rules…all the while bidding his willful time to strike.

His knowledge of what buttons to push are astoundingly precise, carefully administered, and are at the level of…dare I say—lewd recklessness?

What is more astonishing is the degree of how far he will push to get my attention, mostly negative…..almost as if he desired nothing more than a clue that he were alive to one more being.

Why this being?

Why fix your target on this being?

How far will you prove your days, how much are you willing to risk before the consequences fatally take place? Before your worth can be determined, the devastation of my powers taking the life you wished to express to me?

How could I let this happen? How could I allow you to love me?

Love remains behind psychological bars and chains, real or not, she rests in the corner with others, anticipating my move. Growing greener with every step I take towards my teammate.

Blue…indigo…that with each step, there will always be and forevermore two steps backwards to measure.

-x-