Authors Note: This is just a little guess of what could have happened after Thursday's episode. This is my first finished Supernatural story. I am currently working on another one. Please be kind, I wrote this at 3:00 in the morning! I would to get in touch with a beta so if anyone has any info, please email me!!!!
Disclaimer: Don't own, if I did I'd be rich.
Sam and Dean stood in an uncomfortable silence for a while. Dean's confession hung in the air around them almost suffocating Sam as he wrestled with his thoughts. Sam didn't want to look at his brother's face. A part of him did, just to see if the tears were real or if he had imagined them. That was only a part and the rest of him didn't want to look because it hurt to see his brother like this. Dean was the strong one and now he was standing there with tears running down him face. His knuckles were white from holding onto the bumper on the impala to keep him standing. His confidence, cockiness and everything that made Dean, Dean seemed like it had been sucked out of him.
The worst part was that Sam had yelled and pleaded with Dean to get to this point. He wanted him to stop pushing his feelings aside. He wanted to know what his brother was thinking. Now starring at him, broken and weak, he almost wished he hadn't pushed.
"Well I guess we better get going." Dean said whipping his face and turning quickly away from Sam.
"Dean," Sam's own voice cracked with emotion that he was trying to keep down. It was becoming clear to Sam that he was going to have to be the strong one. He was going to be there for Dean this time.
"What Sam!" Dean yelled turning around angrily. "There's nothing you can say! There's nothing anybody can say!"
"Dean," Sam said still not to sure where he was going. "We still don't know anything. We…we still don't know." His voice trailed off in a whisper and Dean let out a bitter laugh.
"Aw, real comforting Samantha, I'm so glad we had this talk. Let's go." Dean rolled his eyes and turned away.
"No, wait!" Sam exclaimed standing up straight. "Ok, let's say it was the demon, ok?" Dean slowly turned around, a deep frown on his face. "Why would it be your fault Dean? You were in a coma; you had no choice over the matter."
"You said I was walking around like some Patrick Swazye ghost thing and you were my Whoopie Goldberg. You said a reaper was after me and I somehow ditched it?" Dean paused to let Sam take back his story to tell him something different but Sam stayed quiet. "I've looking in Dad's journals and there's nothing I can find. So how did I get away?"
"You actually think you traded your life for Dad's?" Sam asked amazed. He couldn't believe Dean would think something like that.
"I don't know!" Dean yelled throwing his hands up. "I don't know why I would but…"
"But nothing Dean," Sam yelled louder than he had expected. Dean even looked a little surprised. "You and I both know you would never do something like that." Dean looked away, new tears forming in his eyes. "Whatever happened, it was the Demon's fault. It killed Mom, Jess, and now maybe Dad. But what possibly happened with you that was Dad's choice." Dean slowly turned to Sam who was stepping closer.
"I know what it looks like. There is no fault in what Dad might have done. He made a choice, his life for his son's. He did what any Father would have done and you had no fault, choice or say in it at all." Dean looked away and they were quiet for a minute.
"I have a confession," Sam said with a sad laugh. Dean looked to Sam, whose eyes were now full of tears. "When I think about it," Sam fidgeted like he didn't want to go on. "I think about the outcome and I feel relieved." Sam looked down at his feet but Dean saw tears still falling. "I mean can you imagine if you would have died and it would be me and Dad out on the road together, just the two of us?" Sam laughed again but tears kept coming. "I don't know what I'd do without you." Dean kept swallowing to control his own emotions. Seeing Sam like this was pushing him back into "Big Brother Mode"
"What kind of person or son am I if I'm somewhat glad about my own father's death? God, I must be…" Sam was interrupted by Dean's arms going around him and pulling him into a hug. Sam was surprised by the sudden show of affection and felt bad. He was supposed to take care of Dean this time, now here was Dean taking care of him. Then he let himself fall into the hug. Gaining comfort and strength from his brother's arms wrapped tightly around him protecting him from his thoughts. It had been a long time since Dean had hugged him and he let himself enjoy it.
"If it had been you," He said into Dean's shoulder. "I wouldn't have been far behind." They stayed like that for a few more minutes and then slowly pulled away. Dean smiled so Sam smiled back.
"You're driving." Dean said tossing Sam the keys. "I want to sleep." Sam laughed and got in the drivers seat. Dean slid into the passenger's seat and leaned back and closed his eyes. Sam felt better. Nothing was really solved, but they had actually talked for once and that felt good.
"Sam," Dean said just as Sam turned on the engine.
"Yeah," He asked.
"When I die, and if you think even for a second about following me, I am so coming back and haunting your ass." Sam laughed and put the car in drive. Dean was now smirking at him. "Dressed as a clown,"