"Love is unfair. It is unescapable, and painful, and after awhile you just want to die. I'm sorry, but this is the point I'm at now. Try as I might, I can never stop loving the one I will never have, because he will have to die sooner or later, and at my own hands.
I am Kira. I stumbled upon a notebook one day at school. On the cover, it read "Death Note" and on the inside were instructions on how to use it. It said that the humans who's name is written in this note will die. I though it was a joke, but something compelled me to try it out. I wrote down the name of my first victim, Otoharada Kurou. He had killed and wounded six people in Shinjuku the day before I wrote his name. He was currently barricaded in a nursery school with infants and daycare workers. He died of a heart attack 40 seconds later.
thought it was a coincidence, and decided to try it out on someone
else. After my next victim's motorcycle was hit by a truck, 40
seconds after I wrote his name and
"Traffic accident" I was convinced.
Now that I had this power, and started looking around, I saw so many people the world would be better off without. I made a decision. I would use the death note to cleanse the world of evil, and where I would be God, passing judgment on those I though deserved it.
days after finding the Death Note, the shinigami that owned it showed
up. His name's Ryuk. When you touch the Death Note you will see
him. Don't be scared, he
wont hurt you. My time with the Death Note, I was possessed by this death god.
I killed Raye Pember. But before I tell you that, let me tell you how. You see, Ryuk told me that I was being followed. I formulated a plan. I got on a bus with Yuri, on our way to Space Land. Raye sat behind us. The bus was hijacked by Osoreda Kiichiro, by my doing of course. I wrote Yuri a note, saying that I'd take care of it. Raye saw the note, and told me that he'd take care of it. I talked him into showing me his FBI badge. I got his name, his face, and planned to kill him. After that, I let a piece of paper from the Death Note fall, and Kiichiro picked it up. Upon touching the piece of the Death Note, he could then see Ryuk. Kiichiro ran off the bus in fear, and was hit by a car and killed. I, of course, had written these actions in the Death Note.
After that, I used the death note to get Pember to pass by "CAFEEL" coffee shop in Shinjuku station. There, I told him I was Kira, and that I'd kill him if he tried anything. I told him to get on the train. When he did, I told him to find out the names of the other Agents, and write down their names in slot cut out from an envelope. Inside the envelope were pages ripped from the Death note. Raye killed the agents by writing their names. He died from a heart attack 3 seconds after getting off the train, as I specified.
I knew about the camera's. I had Ryuk find them for me, while I played the part of "Highschool student studying for his entrance exams." There were 64 camera's in all, right? And yet, even with the camera's, I was able to kill off criminals with L watching. Oh, and dad, those magazines aren't mine. I bought them for the occasion.
After Misa was captured, I went into confinement with a very well formulated plan that worked entirely on probability. I knew that the killings would stop for awhile when I was placed under confinement, for I was Kira. But Remu was supposed to find someone to carry out Kira's duties for me, which she did. When I said "get rid of it" I meant the death note, and I was talking to Ryuk. By saying that, I gave up ownership--and memories--of the death note.
After that, I couldn't remember a thing about being Kira. I couldn't remember my plan, I couldn't remember the people I killed, I couldn't remember anything. And then I was handcuffed to L, and something quite unexpected happened.
I fell in love.
Before I lost my memories, it was so painfully obvious that for Kira to rule, L would need to die. My plan was formulated so that he would, indeed be killed. But now that I had formed feelings of desire, I didn't want him to die. I would rather die then watch the only person I have ever truly
loved die for my own gain. Which leads me here, to this final decision.
When we caught Higuchi, and I touched the Death Note, all my memories flooded back. I opened my watch, which contained a pin and a piece of the Death Note, sliced open my finger, and wrote Higuchi's name in my blood. He died while I held on to the Death Note, and so I regained ownership.
And now is the end of my story. After writing this, I will write my name in the Death Note and die, it's the only way to stop this pain.
L, Ryuzaki, Ryuuga, whoever you are, I love you. I love you so much. But you're a detective, and I'm a mass murderer. It would never work.
I wish I could say I'll see you all again, but Ryuk says that humans who use the Death Note go to neither heaven or hell.
Goodbye, and I'm sorry.
Soichiro Yagami, Raito's father, cried silently, tears streaming down his face. He collapsed onto the nearby couch, but nobody noticed. Everyone was focused the on the note in L's hand. Raito's suicide note.
Raito himself was there, but only his body. Matsuda clung to the lifeless teenager, his wrists slit, but no longer bleeding. A heavy silence filled the air.
Then quiet sniffling filled the room.
The eyes turned from the note, to the one holding it. L sat in his usually crouched position, his knees pulled up against his chest, the note clutched in his trembling hand. Tears dripped on the carpet with a dull thud. Ls eyes were shaded by the layers of soft black hair.
"H-he did this because of me? He died because of me?" L choked out, his usually emotionless voice dripping with sorrow.
Matsuda swallowed, unnerved by L's sadness.
"He was Kira. He deserved to die." Matsuda offered timidly.
Mr. Yagami's and L's heads snapped up at the same time, but it was L that spoke first.
"NO!" He yelled, "No, he loved me! Raito did something I thought no human could ever do! He loved me so much he killed himself because he thought he could never have me. He...he.. He may have been Kira.. But..." Ls voice faded off as he looked at Raito. Then to the surprise of everyone in the room, he pounced on the dead teen and clutched his body to his chest, sobbing and screaming nonsense into Raito's shoulder.
Watari walked over to L, untwined a hand from Raito's body, then pulled the boy up. L looked up at Watari with wide eyes, then turned back to face Raito.
"I'm so sorry." He whispered, "I'm so, so sorry, Raito. I wish you had known that I loved you too." L allowed Watari to lead him out of the room, repeating "I'm Sorry" over and over.