I know that every fanfic writer has probably done one of these by now, but I
wanted to do one…so here it is. Sorry for the boredom!

In the End

Only to be opened in the event of my death, by Giles. I mean, Giles open it, not
Giles' death. This is by Buffy. Glad we cleared that up.

To everybody

I don't want to be morbid. Okay, I realise that in doing this, even thinking about
doing this, I've become the embodiment of morbidity, but there we go. I haven't
known you for very long, but we've been closer in this year than I've allowed
myself to be to anyone, since I became what I am. The Slayer.

I meant every word I said earlier, I don't want to die. I'm only sixteen, and I don't
want to die yet. But if I have to, if I'm meant to, then that's what I have to do.
God, this doesn't sound right! I've never been good at writing letters, and I hope
no-one has to read this. It probably sounds lame and too melodramatic, but then
I suppose my life is melodramatic! More melodramatic than anyone else's I
know…except maybe for you guys. For the record I'm sorry I dragged you all into
this…but I'm not sorry about anything else that's happened this past year.

For the first time in my life I've had real friends. Not friends who judge me on the
colour of my hair, the cut of my clothes, the four inch heels I decide not to wear. I
mean, killer heels are fine for like the Bronze and stuff but…okay, off the point
slightly. What I mean is, you accept me for what I am. Weird. And you let me
come, with all my weirdness and make your lives weird too. So Xander,
Willow…you're my best friends. The best friends I've ever had.

Giles. I know I'm not exactly the serious, bookworm Slayer you would have
wanted. And I know that I've been a bit of a burden. A big, enormous, elephant
sized burden. But you've been there for me, and you've helped me to see that
this is something I have to do. It's my duty. Even if you don't want me to do it, it's
my duty.

One more person. Angel. You don't know how much you mean to me. I can't
really put it into words, but I guess you know. I hope you do. Angel, you're the
first person I've loved. You understand me better than anybody. I love you, and I
wish…I wish we could have been forever. Wow, emotional breakdown here!
Ignore the tearstains…

Please don't show this to my mom or Dawn. I don't want them to know about my
being the killer of ungodly night creatures. It'll just heap on the guilt. Just…just
tell them that I love them, and I'm sorry.

Lots of love,
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

If I don't come back, please open this, Mom. Show it to everyone.

To my family, friends, and Cordelia,

I've got a few minutes to myself before I have to save the world.

That sentence sounds way strange, but it's true. Spike helped me tell my mom
I'm the Slayer. Which is even stranger, but bear with me. If I have to die to kill
Angelus, if I have to go with him into hell, I'll do it. I'll do it for all of you, and for
Angel. Whatever you say Xander, I know that somewhere he's hurting too. I love
you all. All of you. I'm doing this for all of you. Sorry about the scrappy writing,
Spike can't drive.

Willow and Xander – you're the best friends anyone could want
Cordelia and Oz – haven't known you as long, but thankyou for being here, and
I'm sorry for any hurt I've caused you.
Dawn & Mom – Love you both.
Giles – we make a pretty good team, huh? I love you too. Take care, and I mean

Please remember me, and don't lose touch with each other. Keep strong, and
never change.

Love Buffy

Please open this letter at Buffy Summer's funeral. Read it aloud.

If you're reading this, then I didn't make it. With two death letters under my belt (I
keep them in the left drawer of my desk) I can safely say I'm an old hand at this.
A skill which I won't be putting on my resume, if I ever get to have a

Third time lucky, so there's every chance you'll be reading this. I don't know
who'll be listening. This year my heart has been broken. Angel, I love you. I
forgive you. This year my friends have fallen in, and out, of love. And back in
again. Know how precious love is, and don't ever, ever let it go. If I could see, I'd
be staring at Cordy and Xander right now. Believe me, I made the mistake of
letting go. Learn from me…hey, it's the only thing I can teach! This year I realised
that the person I trusted above all could betray me above everyone else, and
could hurt me. I also realised that I loved him. Giles, I forgive you. You've been
like a father…you have been a father. Not just to me but to everyone. This year I
learnt that little sisters can be even more annoying than usual when they want to
come on slaying trips…Dawn, I love you. And no, you can't have my clothes!
Mom, I'm sorry that I ran away. Running away never helps. I love you too.

So with all that love, I hope I'm strong enough. I hope you never have to read
this. If you do, then I want you to know this. For every tear I've cried, there's been
someone to kiss it away. For every sleepless night, there's been someone to
help me rest. For every moment of heartbreak, there's been someone to make
me laugh. For every demon I've slain, there's been someone to tell me how to
improve my technique…what I'm trying to say is, I've been happy. I died happy.

Love Buffy

Please take this to Giles. You're the only one who I know will look out for number
one, and come out alive. There's a few twenties underneath it.


Letter number four. I'm pretty sure this is a hobby unique to me…guess I'm just
lucky. To cut the sarcasm, I am lucky. I hate that things have been so bad
between us all. I hate that I got so caught up in Riley, and so un-sensitive. I hate
that I haven't laughed properly for a few weeks. I love you has lost it's meaning.
You all mean so much more to me than that. Tell Tara that I'm sorry I didn't get to
know her better, and tell Riley that I love him. Tell Angel that even though we're
apart, I know he'll always have a place in my heart. Okay, not only as that a
cliche, it rhymed. Try again. Tell Angel that even though we aren't in love, I'll
never fall out of love with him. Tell him to smile more, and get Cordelia to buy
him some brighter coloured clothes.

Tell Spike to get lost, tell my mom that I love her, tell Dawn that I love her. Love,
love, love. Love makes the world go round. I've got all of you in my heart. You're
my power. You're what makes me able to go on. For how much longer, I don't



Willow, take this to the others and read it.

To my family, Spike, Anya, Tara, Cordelia, Wesley and Angel.

I haven't got any more words. I'm so tired of this. Today I went up to my room,
looked in my drawer. The left drawer of my desk. Four letters. Four more than
anyone should ever have to write. Four letters with vows of love and friendship.
Four letters where I told you all about my last requests. About my true feelings.
About everything. Words you've never seen. Four times I've sat down and tried
to write what's in my heart. Four times I've left those letters in various hiding
places. Four times I've taken them back.

Four times I've known that I could die.

How many people can say that? Please read the other letters, they say things so
much better than this one. You see, in those other letters, I wasn't tired. I was
alive. I was scared of dying, willing to fight tooth and claw, I was full of love and
passion and fire.

You know what I'm scared of now? That my fire's all burnt out. The spark in me
that's kept me going, that's made my soul warm enough to love you all, is dying.
My love is so overwhelming the only possible option is to die for you. That's how I
feel. And it's strange…it isn't love for an individual. At this point I really can
truthfully say that I couldn't let Spike die anymore than Tara, or Angel, or Giles,
or Xander, or Dawn. I just couldn't.

That was when I knew. That I wasn't just playing the part of the superhero.
Greater love hath no man…or woman…than he would lay down his/her life for
his/her friends. And it's true.

So whatever happens tonight, you'll be reading this letter, this final letter. In the
end it all comes down to how many friends I'd lay down my life for. The answer
is, every single one. I will die. Maybe that spark hasn't gone yet…I'm crying. But
not because I'm frightened anymore. Please don't think I'm frightened, please.
I'm crying because I'll miss you all so much.

I'll miss Xander's smile. I'll miss the way Willow laughs. I'll miss Giles' voice, and
Anya's bluntness, and Tara's gentleness. I'll miss Spike's eyes and Dawn, god,
I'll miss you so much…

Wesley, Cordy, Angel…I've missed you for years. I love you all. I do, I love you
all. I love you. I'll always love you. But this is the work I have to do. Giles, I
figured it out. When it said in the codex…the first letter…that I had to die, I said I
accepted it. But I didn't, not really. Now I do. Now I understand. And I'm okay.
You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong.

The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.

Buffy Anne Summers.

You know what I just realized? After tonight, I'll have saved the world.

A lot.