Awhile back she had fallen for another person. It was not Beastboy as many assumed, nor was it Robin.
She had fallen for Starfire.
Looking back on it, she really had no idea how it happened. Perhaps it was the sunny personality of Star's which greatly contrasted with Raven's dark personality. All Raven knew was she wanted her friend unlike anyone she wanted before.
More than Beastboy at one time.
More than Robin.
Even more than Malchior.
No, she loved Starfire.
She wanted that beautiful girl with all her quirks.
She wanted Star's smile to be only for her.
She wanted Star to be with her on her bed in her lonely dark room.
She wanted to be love by Starfire.
Raven, in a million years, never thought Starfire would look in her direction as she looked at Robin. Raven felt much jealousy toward Robin, but was able to hide it due to her emotion training at Azarath. She could hide her emotions for a long time for she was trained to hold in her emotions since she was a small baby. She wished she did not have to. However, she did it so she would not hurt the team. She worried that if she showed her twisted love, it would tear the team apart.
After all, homosexuality was not exactly accepted in the world.
She worried that Beastboy would become bitter upon learning his object of affection was not in love with him.
She was afraid that Robin and Cyborg would look upon her with disgust.
She was terrified that Starfire would hate her because of Raven's unnatural love.
But, of course, she hid all of these emotions under her hood and mask. After all, she was the emotionless Raven.
She would hide her emotions for eternity. It was not right to love another girl.
No, she'll just be that girl in the corner who watched Robin and Starfire go for another date. (The mere sight was breaking what was left of her heart.)
She'll just be the girl who rejected another one of Beastboy's advances while longing for another.
She'll just be the girl who lived in the shadows, afraid to go out into the light fearing it would burn her.
No, she'll just love at a distance, staring into the window known as love.
It was just safer that way.