Disclaimer: So not mine. Rating: 13+ bad language.
Fandoms: new Battlestar Galactica/Doctor Who (5, Nyssa)
Length: 1,660 or so Genre: Gen Spoilers: Season two, Home part 1. Set: post-Home part 1/post-Arc of Infinity.
Pairings: Lee/Paranoia, Kara/Gun, Zarek/Distrust Notes: erm. You can all blame Soylent Gringa for this, since she said something somewhere about Fifth and Apollo being together. Now, I know she meant Fifth the Replicator, but the thing is, in old Who parlance, Fifth meant Peter Davison's Doctor. So, er, this happened. I'm really reaching for a title, and going to go DIE in bed now. Thank you.

A Treatise on the Uses of Trees in a Non-Violent Atmosphere, or, Myth Meeting
by ALC Punk!

"He's coming round."

The voice was female, and Lee concentrated on it. There was a flavor to it, one that he hadn't heard in a while. Some of the smaller municipalities of Canceron produced the accent he was hearing.

"Oh, good." The man's voice held the same inflection.

"Don't try to rise," the woman said, and a hand pressed gently against his chest.

Lee forced his eyes open and found a young woman with chestnut curls looking down at him, her brown eyes concerned. "Hello?" He managed.

"Definitely awake." She smiled slightly and looked across him.

Lee tracked the movement and found a tall, blond man standing there, his attire was rather old-fashioned. The term 'cricket' filtered through his consciousness. Mustering the energy, Lee tried to speak, and found he didn't know what to say. What came out was a strangled garble of sounds.

The man slipped his hands into his pockets and gave a cheeky grin. "I'm sure you feel a bit fuzzy. I wouldn't try to talk anymore yet, if I were you."

"Water?" Lee asked, his voice rusty.

"Here." The girl moved away and returned a moment later with a cup. She helped Lee sit and drink. He concentrated on ignoring the way the forest spun so unpleasantly. "Better?"

"Yes." He smiled gratefully at her. "Where. Where am I?"

"This is, if I'm remembering my Earth history correctly," the man said, looking around and gesturing, "The planet known as Kobol." He frowned. "I wish I could remember how that legend went, there was something about it that always rather troubled me."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Nyssa," the girl said, her eyes still concerned, but also rather assessing as she looked at him. "That's the Doctor."

"Doctor?" Memory was beginning to return. The President, Kara-- "The Cylons!"

"The Cylons! Yes!" The Doctor paused, the animation draining from his face. "Oh. Oh dear. It's them, is it?" He dropped to his knees and began hastily helping Lee sit up. "You're fine, I'm sure. Nyssa, I think we should be going now."

"But, Doctor, he can barely--"


The girl glared across Lee, who was fighting vertigo again. "He isn't fit to be moved, and you know it."

"And we can't leave him here," said the Doctor with a sigh. "Very well."

"Very well what?" Lee demanded, irritated. "Look, I need to know who you are, and where the rest of the party who came down to the surface are!"

"Party?" The Doctor didn't wait for an answer, simply hauled Lee to his feet with a strength the Captain hadn't expected. He peered around them worriedly, then let Lee go. "There are others here on Kobol?"

Nyssa took a firm grip on Lee's arm (before his knees folded), "You shouldn't be standing just yet, you've got a rather nasty bump on your head."

"Yes." Whirling away, the Doctor strode across the small space, then came back and looked at Lee. "You would be Captain Apollo, would you not?"

Adrenaline surged through Lee, as he jumped to the only conclusion he could. "You're a Cylon."

"No, just a traveler, and a very good guesser." The Doctor clapped his hands. "Nyssa, we need to leave, now. There are things here which we're not meant to interfere with."

"But, Doctor, what about--"

He talked right over her, "The histories which will be written here are not for us to play with."

"Now you sound like a Time Lord," she said, her voice accusing.

"I am a Time Lord, Nyssa."

She snorted, "Not a very good one, usually." She looked at Lee, eyes worried. "Will you be all right?"

Lee was very confused. He figured part of that was the concussion, "Listen, I don't know who you two are, but--"

"Nyssa, we may already have disrupted time too much by saving this young man--"

"We didn't save him, Doctor, we merely tended him." Her expression mulish, Nyssa stepped closer to Lee and slid her arm around his waist. "Now, I'm sure there can't be any harm in merely returning him to his party."

Lee realized he couldn't reach his weapon, and the adrenaline surge doubled, shivering along his muscles. "If you're not Cylons, what are you?"

"We're human, at the basest level," said the Doctor, his air one of resignation.

"I'm from Trakken, he's a Time Lord," said Nyssa, "And Tegan is an Earth-woman."

"Earth," Lee stared at her, uncertain. "How is that possible? Earth was lost to the 12 Colonies, we're--"

"Trying to find it?" guessed the Doctor.

Lee looked at him. "Yes. How do I know I can trust you?"

"I suppose you don't. But we're not Cylons." Heaving a sigh, the Doctor moved and took Lee's free arm. "Come along, Captain. I'm sure we'll find your people soon."

Lee decided objecting would be pointless. Besides, his head was pounding, the green forest of Kobol was still spinning gently, and he was pretty sure that he couldn't beat even the President at a game of Pyramid. "You said, there was a third, this Tegan--"

"She decided to stay in the TARIDS. Tegan says if you've seen one forest, you've seen them all," Nyssa explained, her tone almost cheerful.

"And you?"

Nyssa was silent for a moment, then said, her tone odd, "I've seen many forests, but the most beautiful will always remain the Grove on Trakken."


"My homeworld."

Lee glanced at her, then at the Doctor, certain he was missing something. "So, you're travelers, how did you get here? Raptor?" Basestar?

"It's difficult to explain," hedged the Doctor.

"Try me."

Nyssa tugged on his arm, "It's not really important how we got here, you know, it's--"


They were abruptly surrounded. If you could call a crowd consisting of Zarek, Starbuck and Helo being surrounded. Kara stepped up, her gun leveled at the Doctor's heart. "Let him go. Now."


"Shut up, Lee."

The Doctor sighed, "We were only trying to help."

"Indeed." Nyssa sounded indignant, "And I'm not sure he'll stand on his own, he's got a rather nasty concussion."

"That's great," Kara purred. "Let me guess, you're Cylon model number three, and this one here is five. Did Leoben send his regards this time, or are you just working alone for the greater 'good'?"

"Actually," the Doctor began.

Lee cut him off. "Kara, they're not Cylons. I don't know what, or who, the frak they are, but they're not Cylons."

"And you know this, how? Did they tell you that, Lee? Did the pretty little Cylon with her pretty brown eyes smile at you?" Kara snorted, "Captain Lee Adama, slayer of women falls to the first brunette on Kobol."

"Kara, that is ridiculous." Lee pulled away from Nyssa and glared at Starbuck. "They said they're travelers."

"We're travelers, too. Do we get gold stars?"

"It's all right. We'll just go," said the Doctor.

"Don't move."

Lee growled and grabbed the gun, forcing the muzzle downwards. "Kara, stop being an ass and listen, for once!"

"To what, to you being brain-washed? Oh, nice frakkin' idea, Lee. Let the Cylons--"

"For the last time, they're NOT Cylons!"

"iHow do you know/i?"

Her voice echoed, the intensity bouncing around them all. Zarek and Helo both shifted away from them.

Lee stepped closer to her. "I don't know how I know, Kara. But they--"

"Made nice with you. I guessed." She sneered.

Grabbing her gun arm again, Lee yanked her closer. "Stand. Down. Lieutenant."

"Gonna make me, sir?"

Lee simply looked at her, meeting her eyes and holding her gaze.

Finally, she blinked and shrugged. "Fine. Now what?"

"We let them go."

A laugh escaped her, and then she clamped down on it. "You're serious."

"Yes." Lee glanced over his shoulder at the Doctor. "You said you had a means of transport."

"I do." the other man agreed.

"Then leave." Trying for a smile, Lee found only the briefest of grins.

Nyssa looked at him, then smiled sweetly. "Thank you, Captain."

"You're Starbuck." The Doctor said to Kara suddenly.

"What of it? Are you going to tell me I'm special?" Kara seemed relaxed, but Lee could feel her tensing again under his hand.

"I'm not going to tell you anything, actually."

"Good. 'Cause I'm getting sick of this bullshit."

The Doctor tipped his hat to them all, and carefully stepped past Helo and Zarek, pulling Nyssa with him. "Good luck to you all. And... try to remember that hope is your strongest ally."

Helo and Zarek slowly lowered their guns as the two walked into the woods. Within a minute they were gone from sight and sound. The only movement the restlessness of the leaves in the breeze. Lee turned to Kara, "Hey."

"What the frak happened to you, Lee? One moment, you're there, the next--poof."

"I'm not sure." He absently let her arm go, and dropped a hand to touch the side-arm still in his holster. "I must have tripped and hit my head, or something."

"Yeah. Right." Kara looked at Helo, "Hey, Karl, Captain Clumsy here keeps getting injured. Why don't you watch his back."

"While you watch his front? How come you always get the best end of the deal, Kara?"

"Because I'm Starbuck, Helo."

"And you're special," Helo mocked. "Right. Pull the other one, Kara."

She flipped him off, then snorted, "Let's go, people. We have a tomb to find."

Lee shook off the last of the cobwebs, just as a sound echoed through the forest. They all tensed, guns coming back out as a wheezing groaning noise filled the air. Then it dropped away, and everything was still again.

"Are we done with this little field trip?" It was the first thing Zarek had said all day.

"Yep." Kara gestured, "Move out."

As he followed behind her, Lee wondered what the hell was going on. Then decided that, maybe, he didn't care. There were killer robots trying to destroy his people, and a prophecy to fulfill. And he'd be damned if he didn't make them all succeed.