Disclaimer: not mine. Rating: PG. euphemismy thingie that only a few people may actually get. notes: OMG. I totally blame this on Liz and Penn and Teller/s for this discussion we had in her lj regarding the Kara photo of Guh-ness and shaving... er. Pairing: vaguely Kara/Helo, with a side of Boomer/Helo.
Set: pre-mini-series. Further note: If you don't get it, I'm sure someone will be happy to explain. There is probably ooc-ness in this. Partially because Tipping the Velvet was playing again, and my phrasing is all Britishy right now.
The title is particularly crappy. Fluff.

The Dare
by ALC Punk!

It was the fourth time in as many days that Starbuck got thrown in the brig for brawling. And this time it hadn't even been her fault. Well, mostly. Helo figured by now there wasn't any reason to bother assigning blame. Starbuck seemed hell-bent on getting herself locked up as often as possible this week.

Still, he was curious as to just why she kept getting herself thrown in the brig.

Deciding to pay her a visit was like deciding to fold early when she had that little twitch at the corner of her lips that said her game was going to take all your money and leave you drunk in the gutter. It was also a simple matter to convince the two marines on-duty that they should take a break.

Watching her through the bars was like watching a contained explosion. She pumped her push-ups like a woman possessed. Or maybe she was just frakking insane. "Hey."

"Frak off." She didn't break stride.

Helo pulled his lollipop out and twirled it, "So, tryin' for a Galactica record?"

"I said frak off, which part didn't you understand?"

"Aw, c'mon, Starbuck, you gotta give me somethin'."

"I owe you nothing."

"Hey, I delivered you Fickle, on a golden platter."

"That was two weeks ago," she finally stopped, panting slightly, and looked up at him. "Why are you still here?"

"I'm curious." Helo popped his sucker back in his mouth, smirking around it. "You've been so... driven lately, something got your panties in a twist, Starbuck?"

Her eyes flickered, and she snorted, "You sure it's not your panties, Helo?" She stood and turned her back, moving as if something were slightly uncomfortable.

Aha. The sucker came out and waved, "So that's what it is, then? Y'know, Starbuck, I've heard that once you've gone one way you never go back."

"What the frak are you talking about?"

"The dare, Starbuck. I'm sure you remember it, you took Flicker and Carmine with you to prove you'd done it. Now it's been long enough and it's growing back."

She stared at him for a moment, then snickered. "You're really full of it, you bastard."

"But I'm right."

Starbuck sauntered to the bars and leaned against them, staring at him. "And what makes you say that?"

"My sister." He waved the lollipop at her, "She went too long between waxings, once. It made her unbearable to live with."

A hand grabbed his collar, and Starbuck pulled him against the bars. "You know, Helo, I'm beginning to feel the urge to have brawl number five."


She smiled brilliantly at him. "You can avoid being thrashed."

"Maybe I like it."

Sniggering, she pulled him closer, "Doubt that."

He wriggled against the bars, "You sure?"

Starbuck's hand opened and she shoved him backwards, hard. "Oh, frak off. Go find your rook and teach her some new tricks."

"I resent that remark," Helo said with dignity.

"You would."

"Besides, I have juicy gossip to spread." He popped the sucker back in his mouth and turned.

"Not if you want to live, you don't." She called, "You see, I seem to recall more than a few bets and dares that could have your ass laughed off this ship."

Helo paused in the door, considering. Then he sighed. "Fine. But stop brawling, Starbuck."

"Stop falling for stupid bets, Helo," she shot back.

He shook his head again, and left. If nothing else, this would be something to hold over her head sometime when she'd least expect it. The lollipop was twirled in his mouth and a truly evil smirk covered his lips. He'd just have to find the right time to cash it in.