Hey guys. It's been a while. I'll write more. But enjoy this oneshot!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Don't sue, I'm just a broke college student.

Here we go! Takes place after Naruto brings back Sasuke. Akatsuki is destroyed. Asuma is not here. (I hope you read the manga to know why)


It was the last battle in the Fourth Great Ninja War. It was Leaf and Suna against Iwa, Kumo and Sound. Mist stayed neutral.

The Mist were very smart to not side with Iwa, Kumo and Sound. The reason would become widely known later.

Iwa wanted revenge for what the Yondaime did to them.

Kumo wanted the Byakugan and revenge on the Hyuugas.

Sound just wanted the Leaf destroyed.

Three against two sounds a little unfair, but the Leaf and Suna were very strong. Gaara and Tsunade lead their villages in battle very well, not to mention that with a battle strategist like Shikamaru, many battles were in their favor. The war was now even, both sides suffered losses. This was the last battle in the war. Whoever won this battle won the war. Both sides knew it.

We now turn our heads to the Leaf and Suna camp, as this is where our story starts.

The Kazekage and Hokage were there in the main tent, planning out their strategy. Shikamaru was in charge, and he was using the intel gathered by Team 8 to get a solid plan.

Team 8 was perfect for the mission. It was their specialty. Hinata's eyes, Shino's bugs and Kiba's nose were perfect for recon.

Currently, the Rookie Nine and Team Gai were all gathered to help with the planning process. Senseis were present as well. Jiraiya and Shizune was there also. The Rookie Nine were now 18, and Gai's team were all 19.

"A head on counter attack is suicide. It's three villages against two. They outnumber us at least four to one." Shikamaru started.

That was not good at all. At least was the last thing they needed.

"So we have to use our surrondings in this battle. But we need positioning." Tsunade said.

The war took place close to the Leaf. It was a major reason the Leaf and Suna won many battles. No one could handle Leaf and Suna shinobi in woods. Losses mainly came from being outnumbered.

"That is the hard part. Positioning will be very difficult. The enemy camp takes away some of the desired positions, so we will have to make something work."

Kiba then spoke up. "There are scouts everywhere. Getting there will be very hard. At the sight of us their camp will be notified."

Shikamaru growled. That was what he was afraid of. Any sighting of them and they will charge. This was not very good.

"This is very troublesome. Coming up with a plan is harder than I thought. We have used the surroundings for battles many times. The enemy will suspect us."

Gaara spoke up. "So we need to find a weakness in their forces."

Uzumaki Naruto then spoke up. "How much of the enemy army is shinobi?"

Hyuuga Hinata, Naruto's girlfriend, spoke up, although confused, answered. "About 80 percent."

Naruto grinned. Everyone raised an eyebrow. Uchiha Sasuke looked suspicious.

Now I know what you are thinking, what is Sasuke doing back? Naruto soundly defeated Sasuke two years ago at the age of 16. Sasuke was returned to the village under probation for a year due to Naruto's defense of him. Sasuke decided that if anger and hate got his ass kicked, he would do it the other way. Naruto's way. Train, be strong, and try to be more socialable. Sasuke felt himself get much stronger this way.

Itachi didn't stand a chance against the new and improved Sasuke. Sasuke is now very close to restoring his clan. He does have Haruno Sakura at his side.

"I got a plan. I'll whisper it to Shikamaru to see if he'll approve."

After a few minutes of whispering, Shikamaru cracked a huge grin.

"That might actually work. But you'll have some issues afterwards."

"I know. But I kill that now. I want the kunoichi to promise me something."

All the kunoichi (including Tsunade) raised an eyebrow.

"Don't kill me for what happens in battle tomorrow."

They all agreed, confused, but agreed.


They all nodded. Confused once more.

"OK Shikamaru, I need you to pass out blindflods to all shinobi and make the kunoichi make the same promise."

Shikamaru grinned. "Sure thing. Meeting adjourned. Do what Naruto says. Believe me, they will need it."

They all filed out the tent to do the deed.

Tsunade, Jiraiya and Gaara looked at Shikamaru. He snickered and explained the plan.

To say the three were surprised was an understatement.

"That's why he asked how many shinobi were in the enemy army..." Jiraiya said.

Tsunade got out, "That might actually work..."

Gaara only nodded.

"Let us go rest. The final battle begins tomorrow."

They all nodded. All agreed the enemy was going to be defeated.


The next day came too quickly. The enemy would be there by 3 PM. The reason? No one expects an attack in broad daylight. Too bad the plans were seen by Hinata...

Shikamaru was giving the confused shinobi who were holding blindfolds instuctions. The kunoichi were also confused as to why they were promised not to kill Naruto.

"When Naruto shouts Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, IMMEDIATELY apply your blindfolds. Remember, do not be amazed at what happens next, and keep your guard up at all times. When you hear the clones disperse, remove blindfolds and charge. Victory will be ours. Guarenteed."

The shinobi and kunoichi agreed and prepared for battle.


It was now 2:30 PM. Naruto was waiting at the front lines with Hinata and Neji, his lookouts.

Neji spoke up. "Naruto, what's the plan?"

"Wait and see."

Hinata will then asked a question. "Will we win?"

Naruto grinned. "80 percent of the army, all the shinobi, will be defeated at once."

The two Hyuugas looked at him in disbelief.

Before they pressed on, Neji told Naruto, "Here they come!"

Needless to say, the Iwa, Kumo and Sound were rapidly approaching. It was time to do the plan.

Naruto gathered chakra and shouted, "TAJUU KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!"

All shinobi men applied blindfolds. All Hyuuga men shut off their Byakugan as well. The kunoichi were ready and looking, wanting to see this plan.

Orochimaru and Kabuto looked on from the front lines. This against their massive army? What a joke. Even though there were hundreds of Naruto clones, they were all going down. But the clones were in perfect position to be seen by the whole enemy army.

The kunoichi were all confused, there had to be more to this.

Orochimaru grinned. This battle was over.

So he thought. No one was prepared for what was going to happen next. Well, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Gaara and Shikamaru were.

This moment will forever go down in history. Over 1000 shinobi were defeated by one technique. This technique wold be forbidden to learn in the future. Naruto would receive high honors and shaking heads with laughter for this. High honors for defeating over 1000 shinobi, shaking heads and laughter for the method.

The technique used?

Well, let's hear Naruto and his clones shout it.


The Leaf shinobi were all thankful for the blindfolds. The Suna shinobi were confused but followed orders, the Leaf would explain it later they figured.

The kunoichi were all in shock. The plan made sense now. The blindfolds and all. The promise didn't matter now. Naruto was going down. Well, he was until Hinata motioned to look at the enemy. The kunoichi all looked, and saw a sight that was unbelieveable.

The Iwa, Kumo and Sound shinobi were all passing out from blood loss. Hinata then remembered Naruto's words.

"80 percent of the army, all the shinobi, will be defeated at once."

The kunoichi then smirked, he was off the hook for this, but was gonna hear an earful afterwards and get a whap on the head for this. That technique defeated over 1000 shinobi. But it did not mean he was COMPLETELY off the hook.

The Leaf and Suna shinobi were waiting on the signal.

After seeing the enemy shinobi pass out from blood loss, the clones dispersed with a pop.

That was the signal. The Leaf and Suna shinobi removed their blindfolds and charged.

They suffered no casualties.

The enemy shinobi were all passed out or disoriented from the technique, this included Orochimaru and Kabuto.

The enemy kunoichi were too caught up in a state of shock to defend themselves. The technique was completely ridiculous and they were flabbergasted that it worked. They had no idea it would be that effective.

To say Iwa, Kumo and Sound were defeated is a massive understatement.

They were completely and utterly humiliated. By the Sexy no Jutsu. It was a shame.

The battle was over within minutes. No one escaped. The Leaf and Suna pounced on them before the enemy got themselves together.

Orochimaru and Kabuto were captured. There was no escape. Tsunade, Jiraiya, Kakashi and Shizune caught them trying to recover from blood loss. They were captured in seconds.

The battle was over. The Leaf and Suna were victorious. By VERY unususal methods.

After the battle, the shinobi and kunoichi thought about the events that just happened.

They all burst out laughing. When the news reached the Mist, the whole village was laughing at the Iwa, Kumo and Sound defeat.

The Kages of Kumo and Iwa were completely humiliated and embarrassed by the way they were defeated. The Leaf and Suna sent them messages telling of their troops defeat by the kunoichi that were spared. There were two. One for each village.

The Leaf and Suna shinobi took their prisoners (Orochimaru and Kabuto) to Konoha, where they would let them rot in prison for their crimes. They were too good to be executed. They deserved to suffer for the rest of their lives. Ibiki would have much fun.

But now they were headed to Konoha.


There was a massive party being thrown. A Konoha wide party. The Rookie Nine, Team Gai and the Sand Siblings were all gathered. Including senseis, Jiraiya and Tsunade.

They all looked at Shikamaru and Naruto. Sasuke spoke up first.

"I cannot believe that technique and plan actually worked. Dobe, you got lucky."

Sakura spoke next. "The fact you made all kunoichi promise not to kill you was smart."

Everyone nodded. Including Naruto.

Kakashi grinned. "Well, he is Konoha's Number One Surprising Ninja."

Gaara then said, "Well, the war is over. Unusual way for ending it."

Everyone laughed.

Tsunade spoke up. "Naruto, never use that technique again. Unless it's for useful purposes."

That meant getting Jiraiya busted peeping.

"Also, the kunoichi will meet with you tomorrow. Be prepared."

Naruto gulped. He was gonna get a tongue lashing.

The shinobi merely laughed.

"BUT LET'S PARTY NOW!" Naruto shouted.

Everyone danced and drank all night. It was truly a happy occasion. War was over. Naruto had ended it.

With a prank jutsu.


The next day. Naruto did get his tongue lashing and a whack on the head from all kunoichi (Sakura, Ino, Tenten, Anko, Kurenai, Shizune, Tsunade and surprisingly Hinata). His promise kept him alive.

He was lucky.

Iwa and Kumo sent their surrender. They could be humiliated no further.

Seriously. They really couldn't.

The Sound was completely destroyed. Many were taken prisoner and their techniques were added to the Leaf and Suna's library.

Tsunade and Jiraiya went to see Orochimaru. Both laughed when he said (more like shouted) this.


Kabuto agreed sourly.

The Sexy no Jutsu was truly the ultimate technique.



OK, that's it! Leave a review please. Tell me what you think!