Four Ways Cuddy Ended Up in House's Bed, and One He Ended Up in Hers

Author: A.j.

Spoilers: For 3.1.

Rating: R

Notes: Also done for the 'five things' meme on LJ a while ago.


1. She's a junior in college and has definitely had too much to drink. It's finals week and, rather unsurprisingly, most of the student population is celebrating by getting smashed and making out with whoever's handy. Lisa'd only gone because her roommate had wanted a date buddy. Not a strong opening to an evening, but the music had been loud and the booze had been free. Which is why she's stretched out on an unfamiliar bed with someone's hand up her shirt and her tongue down his throat.

The guy on top of her is tall and pleasantly muscled and knows just what to do with his fingers to make her twitch. She doesn't usually sleep with strangers, but he's got a condom and blue eyes and when she wakes up in the morning and sneaks out, he lets her.

Oddly enough, that's what she remembers when she meets him again.

2. She runs into him, literally, at a medical conference in Fresno, California. It had been a last minute substitution because her fellow intern had come down with a massive case of food poisoning. As such, she's had to spend nearly an hour straightening out room reservations and the welcome dinner is almost starting by the time she gets everything in order. She charges in to the elevator - she has fifteen minutes to get primped and pretty and back down to the ballroom before the doors closed - and runs full-tilt into another person.

He catches her and says something pithy, but she's not really paying attention because holy crap, it's that guy she had sex with in college. She says this outloud, and years later realizes it's i only /i because she did that they spent the rest of the weekend attempting to break his hotel room bed.

They don't manage it.

She gets on the plane home three days later pleasantly sore and with a head full of everything she's supposed to report back on. He'd walked her through the whole outline of the conference while going down on her. Turns out he was the guest speaker.

3. They end up fighting through a consultation she brought to him. Three hours of poking and prodding and working completely in-tune with each other wraps with him being right (of course) and them being hungry. Because he actually lives in town, she badgers him into taking her somewhere good and they continue fighting through a rather impressive Italian dinner. They only stop talking when she pops a bite of her crème brule cheesecake and audibly moans.

Unsurprisingly, he ends up staring at her breasts while she squeaks and mmm's her way through the rest of her dessert. Just after she swallows her last bite, but before she can find the last traces of sweetness, his mouth is suddenly over hers. Tasting and licking and using his rather impressive tongue to its best advantage, and when he finally pulls back it's definitely not the cheesecake making her mewl.

"Wanna fuck?" He whispers it while nibbling on the edge of her ear and five hours of anger suddenly feel a lot more like foreplay.

She keeps her hand in his pants the entire way back to his place and unrepentantly steals his car the next morning to get herself back to the hospital parking garage. She leaves the keys under the mat before picking up the leftover paperwork at the admission desk and driving the sixty or so miles back home.

The next time they talk, he's deeply in love with another woman, and she's oddly relieved.

4. Two weeks after Stacy leaves the first time, she shows up at his doorstep and jimmies the lock. She finds him sprawled in the living room in nothing but a pair of sweats and an open bottle of tequila on its side next to him.

She doesn't bother trying to move him, just starts cleaning. She ends up hauling out three garbage bags and doing three loads of wash before he even stirs. Has the fridge stocked with edible things and has a light soup in the no-longer-disgusting crock pot when he hobbles into the kitchen on two arm crutches.

"Christ who the fuck turned you into Glinda the Housekeeping fairy, and what drug are you on that made you think I'd appreciate it?"

She slaps him because nothing else has worked. She's expecting it when he slaps her back and has her arm already back for the closed-fisted punch.

They only make it to the bed because his thigh spasms in the middle of her riding him hard on the linoleum. It's not gentle or even all that pleasurable for either of them, but she comes and he comes and this is probably better than him shooting himself.

By the time she drops a full mug of chicken rice soup on his nightstand, they're both black and blue in more places than those that are visible.

She doesn't look back when she leaves. But she wants to.

5 She is rolling her eyes and going back to bed when she hears the window scrape in its frame. Her palm slapping her forehead actually hurts, but that takes a hard backseat to the sudden presence of a warm callused hand on her shoulder, tugging her around.

"What the-" is all she manages to get out before he's kissing her and shit his stubble is rubbing her just the right way. He is sweaty and hard under her hands and by the time his shirt and her shirt and their shorts are on the floor, his mouth is between her thighs and she really can't remember why they shouldn't be doing this.

It's only when she's breathing hard from her second orgasm and House moves up her body, dragging his stubble and hairy thighs over her already sensitized skin, that her head clears enough to murmur "This isn't getting me to try the treatment."

He just snorts and pulls her thigh up into a gentle but firm stretch to hook her knee over his shoulder. Her scream is an echo in the room when he nips at her ear. "Not yet, maybe."