Title: Not So Much A Lie As An Omission (She Says)

Author: A.j.

Rating: R for language.

Pairing: House/Cuddy (sort of.)

Summary: She's better than this. (And that is a lie.)


She wants to have sex with him. This is not new (of course it's not) but neither is her self-control. It would be monumentally stupid to have sex with him. Participate in intercourse. Greg House inserting tab A, and all that.

She's visualized it a few times. Never gone so far as to masturbate to thoughts of him (and this is a lie) but parts of him superimposed over George Clooney going down on her are not an uncommon occurrence. George looks strange with cornflower blue eyes. But his tongue (and her vibrator) are just as good as when he's got brown eyes, and who really focuses on the stubble?

She does, but that's okay. George Clooney has stubble. Really. She's seen pictures.

So yes, Lisa Cuddy wants to have sex (hide the sausage) with Gregory House. This is probably a healthy female response to an alpha male something. It really doesn't affect her everyday life (this isn't a lie, but very easily could be) as, unlike boys, her libido does not rule her decisions. She often wonders at the continuing sexual harassment statistics in her field, and has to bite her tongue when she sees House stare at Cameron's retreating ass.

She tells herself that it's a twisted form of diagnostician training on his part, but is randomly glad that Cameron doesn't have the spine to actually sue him. Their legal budget is big enough as it is where he's concerned. If it ever came to that? (She'd settle.)

And it doesn't help that House sexually harasses her to her face. Eight years on and she actually has learned to tune his comments about her breasts out. The comments about her ass, on the other hand... ("Damn, you could bounce quarters off that. Can I?") Those still crack her neck around and make her glare.

It's not just that he's gotten up close and personal with said ass in recent history (he has), or that she'd been pumped full of hormones there for that little while (she had.) It's that after eight plus years... he's still looking. And that confuses her just as much as it gives her that warm (inappropriate) glow in her tummy.

Sometimes, she walks by him and half-turns to do something else. It's only then (when neither of them are paying attention) that she really gets that he wouldn't say no if she ever cornered him in a dark exam room (number 3 has the most comfortable table) and dug into the supply of condoms in the storage carts.

She has never pictured what their children would look like. That is something too real and too close to home. It's wrong in her head and she will never (ever) let the image of toddlers with that smirk enter her mind. It's unfair to her and unfair to him and a line she is not crossing. (Not yet.)

It's bullshit that she wants to fuck him. It's stupid and wrong and forbidden (that makes it hotter and she knows herself well enough to know it really, really is) and did she mention stupid? She's his boss and doctor and possibly something like friend. It's so goddamn cliché that she wants to hit him with something heavy and push him down some stairs. (Really.)

Overall, she is glad (most of the time) her reproductive organs are inside her body and that she isn't ruled by her dick. Contrary to popular opinion, the only one she has is purple and not attached to a strap-on. She will not have sex with Greg House. She is his boss and doctor and possibly something like a friend to the man.

This does not stop her from wearing really nice heels (they do amazing things for her posture and calves) or really low tops. It's nice that there's someone looking. But she has other things to do than contemplate fucking Greg House.

(This is...)