Darkkinkachu: It is with much regret (And some fear you might hurt me) that I must tell you all that this is the last chapter of A-cat-suki. No mas. I have three reasons for not doing the party and other things I could have put in: First of all, I'm sick of this story. I just can't take it any more. Its been fun and I've loved all the reviews but I need this to end. Secondly, I feel bad for you guys. I don't want to be the kind of author who writes for a while then doesn't post a new chapter for 8 months. Finally, I actually DID try and write more but it came out so poorly I just couldn't bring myself to subject you nice people to such crap. I'm deeply sorry and hope this chapter will make up for some of your disappointment (coughyeahrightcough)


"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat."

-Mark Twain


At first, Sakura thought that something outside her window must have woken her up. Or maybe it was how very warm she was feeling. Or the rather heavy weight on her stomach. Whatever the reason, Haruno Sakura did not want to open her eyes.

As the young medic desperately grabbed at a few more snatches of sleep, the previous nights events came pounding back: Naruto and Gaara starting a fight over weather Raman or salted tongue was better, Tenten and Shino in the closet (now THERE was an image burned in her brain), Neji in her underwear drawer, Lee 'accidentally' getting into the alcohol, and Kankuro and Kiba's drunken hitting on her, which ended in a strange kind of sissy-fight where no one won.

Sakura decided she was just going to stay in bed all day and get up in the evening. Besides, the constant rhythmic breathing of the person next to her was very soothing…hmm…wait…

Her eyes opened so fast it made her dizzy. Blinding, golden shots of light were creeping in from cracks in the blinds and her room had become oddly stuffy. Sakura closed her eyes and counted, very slowly, to ten. There was no one in her bed. That breathing sound was only a vent and the weight on her stomach was just one of the kittens. Taking one last deep breath, she cracked an eye open.

And almost screamed.

Barely an inch from her face, his arm slung over her lazily and sleeping quite peacefully, was a huge blue man with dark, gill-like markings under his eyes. Wait…blue skin, gill-marks, huge, sharkish…

No…no no no nonononononooooo…Sakura thought, panic and confusion vying for the top spot in her mind, Hoshigaki Kisame is so not in my bed. Sleeping. And looking oddly innocent for someone who kills for fun. And drooling…ew…

Slowly, ever so slowly, Sakura began to inch away from the male. As she did so, the dark comforter she always kept on her bed began to slip away from him, reviling a broad, well-muscled chest with a single, pale scar running jaggedly across it.

The first thought to absently float thought her mind was 'Oooh…Me want touch…' After shaking away such embarrassing thoughts, the second thing she realized, with a hefty blush and much horror, was 'He's naked'

Sure enough, there was Hoshigaki Kisame in his big blue birthday suit. As Sakura continued her movement away, still blushing madly and looking anywhere but below the sheets, she bumped into something. Something warm and solid and definitely not the wall.

Gritting her teeth, Sakura carefully rolled over, willing this all to be a bad dream. A pair of sleepy yellow eyes met her own shocked green ones. A man, a friggin' black AND white man, with messy green hair was lying on his side looking at her. Also naked…

For a moment, the two just stared at each other, neither willing to make the first move. Until Zetsu grinned, reviling rows of dazzling, sharp, white teeth…


The results of her scream were instantaneous. Kisame made a sound between a roar and a squeal as he shot up into a sitting position. Zetsu fell backwards and onto the floor. Itachi, who had been draped over the end of the bed, was up and ready, red eyes scanning the room. Deidara whacked his head under the bed where he had been sound asleep and Hidan gave a highly girly scream of his own.

"What. The . HELL. Are you people doing in here?!" Sakura shrieked, yanking the covers away from Kisame to cover herself. She was in a large T-shirt and boxers and he was nude…Kisame was not happy about it.

"Give those back! I'm cold and naked!" He snapped, grabbing the comforter back, "Stop screaming and let me sleep woman!"

"It appears we are no longer under The Leaders Jutsu." Itachi stated calmly, looking at his hands.

"Oh, good deduction Captain Obvious." Hidan sneered. Itachi disappeared and reappeared behind the silver haired man and jabbed him in the back with two fingers. Hidan made an odd squawking sound and crumpled to a heep on the floor, cursing addimently.

"And WHY are you all naked?!" Sakura growled, face beet-red as she looked away from Itachi. Unfortanietly, Deidara had just come up from under the bed on that side so the poor (yesh, poor her -.-. cough…) girl got an eyeful, "GAAAH! How many of you are there?"

"There should be seven, yeah." Deidara said, just standing there like nothing was wrong, "Where are Tobi and Kakuzu?"

"Tobi is here, Senpai!" he said, popping up like a spring. Oddly enough, his mask was still firmly in place, "Tobi isn't a cat any more! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Sakura was mortified (But also a little grateful) to see that the young, dark-haired man was holding a stuffed bear Lee had given her over himself.

"Wait… 'cat'? You mean…you guys were…" comprehension dawned on the pink headed one. The kittens odd coloring. Their strange personalities. Even the way they seemed to understand what she was saying. It all made sense now.

"Yeah, that was us." Kakuzu said, stepping out of her closet with one of her extra blankets wrapped around his waist, "So…what are we going to do with her now?"

"Weeeeell now that she seen us…" Deidara trailed off, a wicked gleam in his aqua eye, "We can't just let her go."

"OH! Oh! Can we keep her?" The one called Tobi questioned, waving one arm in the air and almost dropping the bear.

"I am not some stray dog you can adopt!" Sakura grumbled, trying to shove Kisame off the edge of the bed where he had almost fallen asleep again.

But, because Kisame was twice her size and nearly three times her weight, all this did was wake him up and make him turn to glare at her.

"See here, Konoichi," he said, the covers falling dangerously low, "I've been subjected to horrible, horrible things over the past few days. Have you ever tasted cat food? It's not nice. Not nice at all."

"And I don't particular like smelling like a girl." Hidan growled, finally standing, a pair of Sakura's spare boxers in place.

"We didn't like being cats, yeah." Deidara said, rummaging through her dresser to find a covering.

"Tobi thought it was kind of fun…" the youngest trailed off when Itachi shot him a withering glance.

"The point is, Miss Haruno," Itachi stated, "we are humans again now and we want to get out of here. We're leaving. If you try to stop us or make any noise…Zetsu will kill you."

"What?! Why me?" the plant man whined, sitting on the bed again, "Make Hidan do it. We like her." the last part came out an odd mixture of both voices, a frightening grin crossing his face.

"HEY! Just because I kill small, furry woodland creatures and worship a god of death, doesn't mean I'm some kind of psycho killer!"

"Either we kill her or we take her with us."

"I want to take her with us." Kisame leered, wrapping his arms around Sakura and grinning, "I can think of some 'medical' stuff I need her to do for me."

"Kisame, unhand the girl."

Sakura could have laughed at the way all of the men suddenly sprang up, panic, fury, and fear mingling on their faces. There, standing in her doorway, was the shadow man who had dropped off the 'kittens'.

"YOU!" Sakura gasped, "How dare you! What were you thinking, giving me a box full of murders? I'm going to castrate you all and then-"

"That won't be necessary." The man said, holding up a hand, "We're leaving. Without the girl." He added as Kakuzu started bringing out his shadow ropes to tie her up.

There was a general, unhappy grumble and a loud 'aawwwww maaaaan…' from Tobi, but all went silent when Sir Leader gave them 'The Look'.

One by one, the men filed out, various sheets and underclothes stolen from the girl covering them. Tobi was the last. As he crab-walked out, Sakura's teddy still in place, he waved cheerfully and called back, "Tobi will send this back in the mail!"

The Leader nodded and tossed another fat wallet of money at Sakura which she barley caught, "Thanks for watching them, Haruno. I have a feeling we'll meet again." He winked cheekily and was gone in a small puff of smoke.

An hour crept by and Sakura was still sitting in her bed, mouth slightly open and eyes unblinking. There was no way that just happened…finally Sakura decided it must have all been a figment of her over active and slightly intoxicated imagination. The man had come to pick up the kittens. It had not been the Akatsuki. Yeah…she would just believe that…

And the box she got in the mail two weeks later containing her favorite stuffed bear and a note with several (obscene) signatures and comments was just a coincidence…


Koji looked up from his paper at the sound of the door closing. Kisame and Itachi had just walked in, looking tierd, battered, but definitely not unhappy, "Where the hell have you guys been?"

Itachi looked over at the blue haired member and smiled, smiled, before saying, "Vacation." And almost skipping back to his room.

The poor man shook so bad, the little umbrella in his hair fell out, "Oh…my…sweet…lord…what happened to you guys?!"

Kisame flashed a wolfish grin, "What he said. We we're on vacation."


The End


Darkkinkachu: Sigh…this was rather sucky. I want to rewrite most of it but I just don't have the time. Its finals week and I've work and other stuff to do and….yeah…Sorry. Oh, and please don't hurt me for making the Unnamed Akatsuki member a male. I know everyone wants it to be a girl but (and you'll hate me for this) I'd rather it weren't. I'm not sexist or anything I just can't see the Akatsuki having a girl in their group…please don't hurt me. –hides behind Sillymail-

I'd like to thank all the wonderful reviews who have stuck by me through this story, given me encouragement and great ideas, and just been all around incredible, awesome, fantastic people! Yay for you! –hugs all the reviewers and gives them a Limited Edition Sasori Kitten Doll- He wasn't even in the story, but hey…he felt left out XD

Please review this last time and tell me what you thought! THANKS!

Oh, and be on the look out for 'Pink Clouds', a SakuraAkatsuki series I'm writing do to the MANY mumbleannoyingmumble requests for ItaSaku.


"There are two means of refuge from the misery of life: music and cats."

-Albert Schweitzer