Disclaimer: Did you ever see Hikaru and Kaoru make out? Why not? Oh, yeah, it's because I don't own Ouran.
My first Hikaru x Kaoru ficcy! I know at one point in life, I actually abhorred incest; I think that was during my YGO days…But I mean, who wouldn't if it was Seto x Mokuba? It was yaoi, incest and pedophilia all jammed into one! (Sorry but no offense to SetoMoku fans) Anyhoo, here goes…BTW, it's my first yaoi/incest/twincest fic so please be nice…
His pillow was drenched wet with tears. Tears that wouldn't stop streaming from his golden eyes—he chortled sadly, his laughter was shaky and in vain as his lament reminded him so much of a waterfall.
"Hika—" He was about to call his brother's name when he remembered he wasn't there anymore. Hikaru already stayed in another room. He was all alone. All he could do was wrap himself with the thick blanket. He embraced himself tightly, struggling to keep warm though his pitiful attempt bore no fruit.
Kaoru cried harder, burying his face deeper into his pillow—as if expecting it to provide the comfort he so desperately wanted. He knew Hikaru would never be the same again. Just the mere fact that he was the one who suggested for the both of them to have separate rooms was evidence enough.
He knew that their self-made barrier was already falling apart—but he didn't expect it to be too soon. He thought it was unfair. How could Hikaru move on so easily and leave him in their world of loneliness and isolation?
Yet he still couldn't bring himself to get angry with his brother for he was the one who urged him to take a step further and expand their world. It was all his fault. He had no one to blame but himself. The pain he was bitterly enduring right now was because of his own doing.
He knew he was being selfish, wishing Hikaru all to himself—but somehow, he couldn't help being possessive. After all, for many, many years, all they had was each other.
Kaoru cherished every single moment he shared with his twin—for he knew they wouldn't last long—and soon enough, as much as it upset him, they would eventually part their own ways. He smiled forlornly because he knew he was right.
It has been quite a while since he thought about it. He knew to feel that way toward his sibling was weird and very awkward. It was highly forbidden. It was an extremely grave sin but he couldn't help but give in.
It wasn't really long before he realized—he loved Hikaru—and no, it wasn't brotherly love or that sort of thing… He loved him more than that. He loved him to the point that he would devote himself to Hikaru and Hikaru alone. He was ready to sacrifice everything for him. He didn't care anymore what others would think of him—discrimination and prejudice weren't new things to him, anyway—he had experienced them well enough to know they couldn't kill him.
He wouldn't know what to do if Hikaru found out. It would break him if Hikaru discovered and became disgusted with him—that sometimes, it was better to keep things the way they were than risk what they already had by trying to deepen the feelings between them.
He glanced to the clock. It was already two in the morning. He rose up and decided to see the person who invaded his mind. He walked as quietly as he could, not even a slight footstep resounding through the floor of the extensive hallway. When he reached the very familiar room, he stopped. The sight of the doorknob handle made him tremble vaguely. As he finally turned it, he held his breath. And what accosted him caused his heart to skip a beat.
He was met by a Hikaru sleeping peacefully. Kaoru was tempted to walk nearer and touch his face that was subtly softened by the pale moonlight that shone through the large windows. His restraint had failed him and his inner consciousness cursed as he ran a hand through his brother's gentle features.
He leaned downward and planted a small kiss on his twin's forehead as a tear managed to escape from his moist eyes. This caused Hikaru to stir. Kaoru froze in horror. But after a while, Hikaru murmured a few words, rolled on the other side of the bed and dozed off again.
Kaoru giggled thinking how silly it was of him to be scared over such a little matter.
Fragments of his memories with his brother would always slip by at the most inopportune times, making the wounds unfathomable. And he had just settled for the thought that reminiscence of someone meant that he was already leaving. Just like what Hikaru was doing.
At one point, he had blamed Haruhi for entering their lives. But he mentally slapped himself for thinking that way. She did nothing wrong. In fact, it was because of her that he had first seen Hikaru become so lighthearted, cheerful and without a care in the world. Yet somehow, buried in the depths of his heart, he silently wished that he was the cause of that smile on his face.
But at the same time, she was also the reason he was suffering right now. She took the only happiness he ever had. She took Hikaru away from him.
But no, as long as Hikaru was happy, he would be, too. Even if it hurt him.
"Hikaru, I love you…"
He took one last look at his brother and turned away to leave the room. There was no reason that he should be staying here any longer.
As he left, Hikaru slightly shifted.
And opened his right eye.
"Kaoru, I love you, too…"
I-I think I'm crying right now…I've always looked back onto episode 21 as one of the saddest episodes in Ouran…No, not the ghost-chasing-them part, but the really last part when Kaoru said, "When Hikaru notices he wants to take another step forward…When that happens...What will I do?" –cries—It's also been a long while since I wrote depressing fics…