"The Talk"

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto so don't sue…not like you'd get much from me anyways.

A/N: Okay so I came up with this idea with my friend one day in Personal Fitness. It just struck me as a very funny idea and I decided to just go with it.

Oh and flames will be laughed at then used to roast marshmallows.


"TEMARI!!" It took a few moments for the blond to register that someone other than Kankuro was yelling at her, and that the yeller in fact was Gaara. "Temari help!" The fan-wielder stumbled out of bed and ran as fast as possible to her baby brother. It wasn't everyday the redhead asked for help, so she decided that it must've been important.

The very second she flung the door open she wished she hadn't. Seeing Gaara naked was bad enough in of itself but to see Gaara naked with a raging hard-on was more than she could deal with. Her hands flew up to protect her eyes from the sight of her painfully hard brother. "Gaara! Why did you call me to see THAT?" She could hear slight whimpers coming from her brother and a sudden fact of reality hit her, one she hoped wasn't true.

"Temari…you know what's wrong? It hurts, what's happening?" He sounded desperate and Temari knew for sure now that no one had ever bothered to give him 'the talk', she had assumed Kankuro had but now it was obvious that Gaara still had a very virginal mind.

"Hold on…just…hold on…." She slowly backed out of the room, still shielding her eyes, then stormed into Kankuro's room. "Oi! Wake up damn it!" The puppet master groaned and literally rolled out of bed onto the floor at his sisters feet.

"What do you want?!" Temari didn't answer, instead she grabbed him by his hair and all but dragged him to Gaara's room. Inside said room the youngest sand sibling was laying flat out on his bed, fisting the sheets.

"Temari?" Kankuro looked up at his brothers pleading voice, noticed the boys 'problem' and tried to run. He didn't go far.

"Kankuro's going to help you out Gaara-kun. Isn't that right Kankuro?" The fan-wielder's voice shifted from reassuring to venomous quicker than the puppet master could register and, to avoid further injury, nodded in agreement. The brunette's eyes shifted in every possible direction to avoid looking at the problem his baby brother was sporting.

"Ahem…well…Gaara, you're at a time in life where…well when a guy likes…or has a type of dream he…ahem…well, its like…ya know…I'll be right back." He ran out of the room as fast as possible, past a blushing Temari, and right into his room to grab Karasu. His return was much slower but all too soon he was back in his little brothers' room. "Talk to the puppet."

"But Kank-" Kankuro was already gone, and the door already shut. "Kankuro! What am I sup-"

"TALK TO THE PUPPET!" Gaara let his hand rest on his erection and hissed at the contact.

"Why does this feel good?" Karasu opened his mouth and Gaara was given 'The Talk'.


Okay I know it sucks, I mean really it was so much funnier in my head but I just figured other people might want to share in the fun. And I know Gaara seems a lil OOC but come on, who's going to get close enough to give him the talk unless it was absolutely needed? And if he didn't even know what 'love' was how was he suppose to know what 'sex' is granted they are very different concepts…

Oh and does anyone know who's oldest out of the sand siblings? I just know that Gaara is the youngest.