Okay, I know the last chapter was short, but think of it as a teaser trailer for what's coming. At least I'll try to keep it somewhat like this. So on with the chapter.
Don't own NGE.
Chapter 2: What now?
Bzzzzzzzzzzz Bzzzzzzzzzz Bzzzzzzzzzz Bzzzzzzzzzzz...
"What is that?" he thought. He slowly opened his eyes to allow the world to enter his field of vision. He was in his room. On his bed. He slowly turned his head toward the source of the noise. His alarm clock. The neon green numbers read: 6:30 a.m. He needed to get up and make breakfast. He reached over to his clock and brought his hand down on the OFF button, which immediately silenced it. His hand slid off the clock. It was time to face the day again.
He got out of bed and slipped on his pants and grey t-shirt. He then proceeded to the kitchen to make breakfast for himself and Misato. Asuka was still lain up at NERV HQ in the psychiatric assistance department. Things seemed to be a little...calmer since she left. No more bitching about his cooking, no more bitching about his habit of apologizing, no more bitching about Misato, no more bitching about Kaji...just no more bitching.
He opened the fridge and grabbed what was available to make a suitable breakfast for two. He heated up the water on LOW and the pan on MEDIUM. He then walked over to the couch and sat down. Now that the Angels were all gone, each one of them destroyed, what would he do? When he was needed to pilot Unit 01, there was a use for him. People needed him for something. People actually needed HIS help! And now, he had completed his job.
They didn't need him anymore. Not Misato, not Ritsuko, not Kaji, not Ayanami, especially not his father.
He looked out the window toward the city. Then he got up and walked over to the sliding glass door and slid it over. Walking outside into the cool, crisp 6 a.m. air. He placed his arms on the railing of the balcony and let his hands dangle off. He looked out towards the city, where all the little dots of light illuminated the west side of the mountain that it resided on. He breathed in a nice, clean, cool breath of fresh morning air and then exhaled through his mouth.
He loved coming out here in the morning and just staring, breathing, living. Passing the time while the water and pan heated.
"Passing the time. That's all my life is about. Passing time until death greets me with its generously, merciful hands. And takes me to where I belong...Hell." That last thought then permanently etched itself into his mind. "Yes, hell. That's where I belong. No way I'll make it into Heaven. I killed one of his messengers. No, I killed 17 of his messengers." Somehow, someway, Shinji always seemed to make his life more miserable than it needed to be. He could no longer count the nights he had sat in his room, waiting for the Grim Reaper to appear at his door and take him away. Or the nights he sat on his bed...with the gun in his hand.
He had snuck it from the NERV armory and had even went to the shooting range a few times...all to make sure that when the time came...he wouldn't miss.
He retreated from the railing of the balcony and headed back inside to check on the pan and water. The water was boiling alright, as for the pan? Shinji gathered up the saliva in his mouth and spat it into the pan and watched as it hit, sizzled and then evaporated. Yep, that's ready to. He ripped open the ramen pack and dumped it into the pot, then took a fork and began pulling the block of noodles apart so that they could be slurped into the mouth. Once all the noodles were separate from each other he grabbed the eggs, cracked them on the pan and placed them inside.
Then he took his fork and began stirring them around in the pan. Once the pan was covered in the yellow goop that comes with cracking open four eggs he took out a wooden spoon and pulled the edges of it to the center of the pan to scramble them. Once they were done, he quickly took the pan and dumped the contents onto a plate. After that he took the pan to the sink and let the water wash over it, listening to the hypnotic sound of the hiss as the water rapidly cooled the lava hot metal.
After the pan was cool he went back to the pot and stirred the noodles a little more before dumping the flavoring into it. After stirring the flavor powder into the noodles and formed the broth, Shinji took the pot and deposited half of it into one bowl and the other half in another. Then he did his pan ritual with the pot. After the pot was cool he grabbed two plates and cut the eggs in half and put half on his and half on Misato's. Then, all that was left was the toast. He pulled out two of the three remaining slices of bread and popped them into the toaster.
The toast was ready and so was breakfast. He sat down and prepared to eat. Taking his toast and putting it to his mouth, taking a bite out of it. As he chewed he looked over the bowl on the ground next to him. He had placed a fish in it right before he sat down for Pen Pen. Misato wouldn't be up for another hour. He was alone. He was always alone. "What now? What now? Now that all the Angels are gone, what's the point of me staying? What's the point of me going to school? What's the point of anything?! Now that there's no use for me here, what will I do?" These were the questions he asked himself every morning, and every morning he never got an answer.
To exist for no reason is the same as being dead. That's what Shinji Ikari thought all the time. And now that his one reason for living was gone, what was the point of living? He had no one. His father had abandoned him, Misato would no longer need to be his guardian, Asuka had gone insane and ended up in NERV's care and Ayanami...Ayanami. Rei. There was no way he could face her again, not after what he saw. Not after what he found out. It would be just to traumatizingly awkward. Like talking to a doll.
He hadn't seen anyone since yesterday, after he killed Kaworu he had gone straight home and locked himself in his room. There was no way he could talk to anyone after that. It was like trying to go jogging after you just broke your leg, painful and nearly impossible. Though the one the thing he tries to avoid is the one thing he wants more than anything else in this world. Why is it that he runs from what he desires? He dropped his toast and clenched his head. "What is wrong with me?! Why can't I allow myself what I want when it's right in front of me!?" He let go of his head and picked his toast up again and began to chew it.
What is he going to do today? It was Saturday, so no school. He doesn't need to go to NERV since all the Angel's have been destroyed. Those were the only things he ever did, go to school or NERV. When he wasn't at either he was usually here, with Misato. But since she works at NERV it's required that she go. He'd be here alone. Toji had gone camping with his folks for the weekend and Kinskue was out doing his little army thing, so he didn't know where he was. Asuka was still in the hospital and Rei, he didn't even know.
She was probably at her house, probably awake. She would either be there all day or at NERV...with HIS father. Yes, no matter how much he liked Ayanami he was never able to really forgive her for having the father he never had. He was finished with his breakfast now, he took his dishes to the sink and began to clean them. Scrubbing them with the rough end of the sponge. And as he ran through all the things that he couldn't do he thought to himself, "What now?"
End of Chapter 2
So this one's a little longer than the first one, I hope. Considering these always come out shorter when you upload them than when their here on Word Perfect. So R&R and I'll try to update RR or KT.