Sugar Rush – A Comedy in Three Parts
Part One – The Victim
By Denise (kdsch123)
Acknowledgments: WB and DC own all. Special thanks and hugs to The Satyr Icon, who kept me up way past bedtime giggling about this idea I had last night while making dinner.
Summary: Mr. and Mrs. Clark Kent have an awards dinner to attend, and troublesome three year old twins, Lara and Jonathan, who need a babysitter. The usual babysitters are unavailable and it takes a hero to fill in.
Pairing: Chlark and implied Chlois, Bruce Wayne/Lois Lane
"Clark!" Chloe came down the stairs, holding the hem of her evening gown just above her feet to keep from tripping in the elegant hem. "Bruce and Lois are here."
The energy in the Metropolis duplex was amped to high.
"Aunnie Lo"!" A red streak of light sped by Chloe, making her stagger back against the wall. Jonathan Kent, four years old and precious in red feetie pajamas was at the door, scrambling for the doorknob as Lois let herself and her husband in to the Kent home with her key. Not caring about sticky fingers on her designer gown, Lois scooped up her godson and tickled his nose.
"Hiya, squirt!" Lois kissed Jonathan on the cheek and rumpled his already unruly black hair. Jonathan snuggled up against his favorite 'aunt' and glared balefully at his mother, who was still standing on the steps, looking down on the scene.
"Unca Bruce!" Lara Kent, also four, sailed down the banister and into the arms of Bruce Wayne. "Didja see me? I flewed!"
"I saw you, Pixie." Bruce smiled at the child, and set her down. "Your mom has told you about the banister. It's not a slide."
Lara Kent folded her arms and tossed her coppery head defiantly. "Daddy lets me."
"Daddy and I will be talking about that." Chloe frowned at her daughter, as she walked down the rest of the steps. "Guys, we have a problem."
"I love your problems." Bruce said grimly. Years of friendship and involvement in the Kent family circle had made Bruce an amused observer when a domestic dustup took place. "What is it now? Kryptonite beams, angry escapees from the Phantom Zone? Streaky miss the litterbox?"
"Chloe, I still say I can stay home…" Clark's voice preceded him, and soon enough he appeared, his tie still off. "You can accept my award for me."
"Oh My God." Lois set Jonathan down to dart away after his non powered sister. "Where's Mrs. Kent? Who is going to watch the kids?"
"Mom is sick." Clark sighed. "She's at farm."
"What about Uncle Gabe?" Lois asked and Chloe frowned.
"Dad is out of town." Chloe reached up to run her hand through her hair and stopped, remembering her elaborate updo. "One of his mystery trips."
"Rats." Lois grimaced. "I think Lucy is in town…."
"NO!" Chloe, Bruce and Clark all said emphatically. "Shelby would be better than Lucy…"
"I could go get him." Clark asked, winking at Bruce. "It would take a couple hours, and the kids could come with me…"
"Nice try, Kent." Chloe pointed to the mirror in the entry way of their loft apartment. "Tie. Put on. NOW."
"And Karen?" Bruce looked around. "I thought she said…" Powergirl, the first one of Lex's clones, and Chloe's adopted sister, was usually the second on the babysitting call list after Martha, and before Lois.
"On patrol. Billy Batson has finals and forgot to tell anyone." Clark said over his shoulder as he tied his black tie. "And Conner is not allowed to watch the kids anymore. Chloe said he and Cassie were at second base one night when she came home."
"Call me overprotective, but I think four is a little young for sex ed, Clark." Chloe laughed, thinking of the Amazon girl's face when Chloe walked in that night. Wondergirl's weaknesses were now tall, dark cloned Kryptonians and the petite, snarky brunette wife of Superman. "For a clone of you, Clark, he's not at all like you. Except in the looks department."
"And really, what good is a clone if you can't depend on them to babysit?" Bruce asked, stifling a laugh as Clark nodded. It was not news that Clark and Conner had a very troubled father/son style relationship. "Seriously, Conner is a good kid, Chloe."
"I know." Chloe sighed. "What there is of Lex in him though…" She shivered. "Makes me want to scream sometimes."
"That's just great." Lois shook her head. "My first award as L.J. Wayne and I'm not going to be able to collect." She began to kick off her shoes. "Okay, kids, pick out a story…Aunnie Lo' is…"
"NO!" Chloe reached out to her cousin. "You're going and so is Clark. Bruce, can you get Diana? The kids just adore her."
"Diana is involved in some ritual on Themyscira." Bruce shook his head. "Yearly, and unavoidable. I had a hard time getting someone to do monitor duty tonight. And don't look for Robin or Batgirl either. They're patrolling Gotham. The solution is simple. I'll stay. I'm not nominated for an award, and really, one less rich guy at these things is ever a problem."
"No." Chloe, Lois and Clark all frowned in Bruce's direction.
"Nice try, hermit." Lois punched her husband in the arm. "You've been trying to get out of this all week."
"I hardly think The Penguin being on the loose from Arkham is me avoiding your awards dinner, Mrs. Wayne." Bruce replied sharply. "Your priorities need work."
"Hmm." Lois smiled, knowing she'd hit a nerve. "My priorities. Hey, what about Alfred?"
Chloe and Clark looked at each other hopefully, and Bruce shrugged, taking out his phone to call his faithful valet. "Worth a shot. Alfred loves the kids."
"I regret sir, I cannot, as much as I would love to see young Master Jonathan and Miss Lara again." Alfred said, both hating having to say no to Bruce and glad that the Kent twins would not be tearing the mansion apart tonight. "The last time they were here, I had to have six tapestries repaired and Cook informed me that she will leave your employ if the Kent progeny steps foot in their kitchen again. Also, sir, I am loathe to remind you that my physician is concerned about my heart…."
"Right." Bruce replied, shaking his head for the others to see the response. "No, of course, Alfred. I don't want you risking your health for any reason. It's fine." He hung up. "Alfred isn't quite as young as he used to be, I'm afraid."
"Hey, what about Victor?" Clark suggested. "The kids love him. Or Raven?"
"You're supposed to call her Rachel, Clark. You know, for a guy who takes his secret identity so seriously you always call she and Kori by their 'hero' names." Chloe corrected her husband. "Call over to the Titans Tower and see if they can get away. And ask about Garth, too." Chloe looked at her watch. "I wish Oliver was in town."
"I luv Unca Oliva." Lara lisped, and Bruce nodded knowingly.
"He charms them all, even the preschoolers." Bruce laughed, winking at his wife. Lois smirked in reply.
"Oliver is only able to handle both of the twins when Roy is around. Otherwise he's a good time Charlie with them. It took me three days stop them from wanting to shoot arrows at each other." Chloe sighed. "Maybe I should stay home."
"No." Clark sighed, hanging up the phone. "Victor is on patrol, Rachel is at the monastery, and Gar is on monitor duty." He looked at his wife and smiled. "You are too beautiful to stay home, Chloe."
Chloe grinned. "So are you, so no funny business." She patted Clark's shoulder. "Who can we even call?"
"Well, when I called the Tower, Gar said that Bart was available." Clark said, and Bruce, Lois and Chloe all turned to stare at him.
"Impulse?" Bruce asked, as Chloe and Lois continued to stare at Clark helplessly.
"He's fun." Clark offered. "Jonathan had a great time with him at the farm when Bart was there hanging around with Conner."
"He's powered, so he can keep up with Thing One and Thing Two." Lois smiled, her hazel eyes widened as she nodded at her cousin.
"He's reckless." Bruce folded his tuxedo'ed arms.
"He's immature." Chloe sighed.
"He's available." Clark and Lois both said. And then, Clark shrugged. "No, you're right. Bruce and I will stay home. You can accept my award for me and your own too. There's a Green Socks vs. Star City Sentinels game on. Playoffs. Pizza and kids in bed by nine."
"Sounds like a plan." Bruce grinned. "In a real emergency, you need real heroes."
Chloe looked from her husband, her cousin and her cousin's husband. Finally, she rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Call Bart."