Part 4

Drink it Sidle. You need it!

Your on a job god damn It-

You think you'll get through this without it

The whole labs watching you

Your job


Sara lifted the glass – the battling of her mind was just too much. Lifting it with only a little hesitation she knocked it back. The hot, burning taste enough to remind her of why she's here – enough to dull the fear that welled inside her chest – the sound of the glass hitting against the bar brought her back to reality.

"Get you another?" the bar man asked. Sara looked up and though thought seriously about downing another shook her head. He took the empty glass and turned away from her. Sara looked back around the bar – not a lot had happened. Everyone stood in the same place, everyone looked happy enough.

As she now sat in her solitude again the guilt came faster at her – she was out here putting her life on the line for a partner who was killed years ago. She was out here putting her relationship with Catherine on the line – even if she got back alive she knew that she will have put a strain on what they had. Catherine always worried about her reckless ways – always worried that she'd do something stupid. This was that stupid thing that she'd kept the blond awake with over many nights, the something that filled many nightmares.

Sara took a deep breath and sighed.

Distance overcame her again this time her mind filling with memories of nights when she'd been awoken by Catherine – the thing was right now she was forcing Catherine's nightmares into becoming a reality.

"Baby?" Sara moaned lowly as she was awoken by the thrashing arms of the blond that lay at her side. A waking a little more Sara moved over to her girlfriend and placed an arm over the damp body, fear caused a cold sweat to hit Catherine. "Honey…shush…" She whispered softly, her lips only a little away from the blonds ear.

Catherine's arms tried to push the brunette away though failed. Sara was much stronger – and Catherine's fear-filled state did little to push away the other. The whimpering of the older CSI was what affected Sara so much. "Umm…No…Sar…no"

"Honey…stop…it's a dream…" Still sleep-filled Sara Sidles voice filtered into the room.


"I'm here… wake up babe!" Sara tried again.

She ran her hand down Catherine's arm in a way of offering comfort. That's when the blond took in a sharp breath before bolting up straight in the bed. Sara kept hold of the now panting girlfriend and slowly coxed her back down to the bed. "No…" Catherine still within a level of sleep gasped.

Sara turned so she put a little wait on her lover. Her voice loving but firmer spoke – "Shush… it's okay. It was a bad dream. It's okay!" Catherine finally locked eyes with Sara, still gasping she began to calm a little. "What is it honey?" Sara asked. The response she got was a low whimper. The brunette pushed the bond hair back from Catherine's face –

"Don't…don't leave!" Catherine moved her hand and gripped hold of the shirt that Sara was wearing pulling her into her side.

"I'm not going…"

"I don't want you… you to die!" Still semi dazed Catherine continued to mumble.

"I'm not going to die!" Sara reassured. She moved and took hold of Catherine's body holding the older woman into her. "It was a dream"

"What the hell is she playing at?" Smith shouted as he watched on the screen as Sara downed the Vodka she'd ordered. "God damn it…" He turned to some of the other officers – anger fully visible. "God damn it…I want someone keeping an eye on her"

Nick looked up to the screen, what the hell was she doing. He looked over to Grissom to show his concern but as usual the older man showed no emotion, he spoke confidently, "Just give her some time to settle down…she'll be fine"

"I don't know how you work Grissom – but I don't let my team drink on the job! You hear me. It's my job to protect her – if she's throwing back vodka I'm not doing my job. This bastard would gut her no problem…"

"Smith… SMITH…" A colleague shouted. He looked away from Grissom and back to the machine, the monitor showing a man, in his late mid 40s walking over to the area where Sara is sat. He moved into action straight away. Reaching for the head phones on the side he began speaking – "We have go! I repeat we have a go. Suspect is in view all units keep alert"

"Hey girl…mind if I come in?"

Catherine looked up from her desk to the doorway. "come in" She managed.

Warrick walked in – "No change on the case…I think the evidence has run cold"

"Don't worry…my girlfriend will help you out" Catherine sighed and explained angrily.

He put the case files onto the desk – "Nick is sitting in on the first few hours – I'll take over. Make sure she's not losing it. Greg went and packed some stuff for her"

Catherine just nodded. Then a silence came over them – "Tell me she'll be okay?" She asked.

Warrick nodded, "She'll be fine"

With a sigh Catherine took hold of the file. "You know what…we were going out after shift"

"She'll make it up to you!" He offered.

"Yeah…" Catherine just stood up – "I need to see her do this! Sitting in here is driving me crazy"