WARNING: This is SLASH, so if you don't like it, just don't read it, por favor. Gracias.
You have been warned, folks. Of course this is fluff!slash, not smut!slash, a.k.a. it's mild, and makes you all warm and fuzzy inside.
Dedicated: To Lauren. Who helped me write it, a little (ha!). She loves Remus, and I love Sirius. Of course, we both know you're not a real fangirl unless you break out the slash a coupla times :).
Prologue—There Are Four Kinds of Sexual Orientation
"Hey, Moony, Wake up!"
James. Again. By now, I assume he'd know not to bother me in the mornings, but no...
"Moony, get up now!"
Whoever was waking me up laughed, and I could tell it wasn't James. This person had a deep, throaty laugh, almost…barklike.
My eyes snapped open instantly. I knew that laugh anywhere. Of course, I found myself staring into the shining grey eyes of none other than Sirius Black.
Feeling instantly more awake, I shoot up out of bed. Sirius is smiling at me…he doesn't know what that does to me.
That's right folks. I'm Remus Lupin, Hogwarts' resident gay werewolf. But no, of course that's not enough suffering, I have to be in love…IN LOVE!...with my best mate, Sirius. And of course, Sirius has to be the most resolutely straight person ever.
I know. You all ache to be me, right?
Since you all find my sordid little life so thrilling, I'll tell you more. I actually first realized I was in love with Sirius in our fifth year, shortly after he, and James and Pete, learned how to become Animagi for me…Sirius stood out the most to me, though…I may have been just imagining and hoping that it was true, but it just seemed like Sirius cared, in a way I've never seen anyone care about me before, not even my family. I just…kind of…let my guard down…and next thing I know, WHAM! I fell for him. Hard.
Then again, how could I not? The boy is bloody gorgeous. He's got this hair…like silk, even right when he wakes up. James likes to pretend he's got hair like Sirius', but his looks rather like...have you ever seen someone get electrocuted? Like that. Well, I've heard Sirius' many, many, MANY fans here at Hogwarts talk about him, and a good amount of those conversations are solely dedicated to his hair. Not that I blame them.
Sirius also has these astounding, fathomless grey eyes. Everyone says that, they're one of the first things anyone notices about Sirius. I wonder if they notice how they get all dark and stormy when he's angry, or upset. And when he's happy, they're almost like silver. That's one of the reasons why I can never say no to Sirius. Just to see him happy, to see his eyes like that.
I swear, Sirius Black…he's the eighth wonder of the world.
But he'll never, ever be mine.
"Moony?" Something nudged me in the cheek. "Moony, are you okay?" Sirius said, with a hint of worry in his voice.
Ignoring the fact that my cheek was burning where he'd touched it, I smiled. "I'm fine, Pads. I'm going to go take a shower."
I wonder if the water goes colder than 'ice?'
The way I see it, there are four types of sexual orientation. Of course, you guys all know the first three (Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual…). The fourth one (and if you're this, you will die a slow, painful death by chicken pecking) is Remussexual.
That's me. I can't see myself with anyone, male or female, except for Remus.
There's a problem, however, with being in love with you're best mate, who is male, and almost surely straight.
Do you see it yet?
Also, Remus is just too good for me. He's this beautiful, amazing, innocent, smart, funny…who the hell am I kidding?! Rem is PERFECT!
Right now, he's asleep, and James and Pete are in the Hall eating, so I'm free to stare at Remus' sleeping form all I want. I'm supposed to wake him up, otherwise he'll sleep right until dinner, but how could I possibly disturb something so beautiful?
But I would get an excuse to touch him, right?
So I do. I walk up to him, and pick up his hand, not even realising what I'm doing. His hands…wow…they're soft as silk, except for the roughness of the occasional scar. I squeeze his hand, and—
He squeezes back. He's actually squeezing back! Granted, he's asleep, and probably thinks my hand is some girl's, but I'll take it.
I sit there for a few minutes, loving the way his hand feels on mine. Sadly, now that I've gotten this tiny bit of Remus' affection, I want…no, I need…more. Now.
Of course, some deity doesn't like me much, because at that moment, Remus starts to stir. I pull my hand away, with great regret, and nudge him, trying to make it look like that's what I intended to do this whole time.
"Moony, get up now!"
He thinks I'm James? I don't know why, but I start laughing at that. I stop instantly when I see he's awake, and I get a full view of his eyes.
Moony's eyes are amber. Like a yellowy, golden brown colour. I could stare into them for hours and still crave more of them. I've never seen anyone with eyes like those…
I look back down at Remus. He's got this weird, glazed over expression…I worry about Remus so much, especially around the full moon. This could totally be one of those weird side-effects. Next thing I know, his eyes will fall out of his head, or something awful like that. I know it's stupid, but even that scares the living piss out of me. I nudge his cheek, which is oddly smooth, seeing as to how he hasn't shaved yet this morning. Great, just another thing I notice…and love…about Remus. I can't believe he can do this to me…I'd do anything for him, and I'm not normally a "likes doing stuff" kind of guy…for Remus, though…
There's nobody else like him…And nobody else for me.
A/N- Okay, random factoid of the day: this is oficially the BEST LINE EVER from all the HP movies...
REMUS: Well, Sirius, at last the outside of you reflects the madness within...
SIRIUS: Well, you'd know all about the madness, wouldn't you, Remus?
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