I do not own the Dirty Pair, original or Flash. If I did, I'd bring the TV series to DVD in Region 1!

The story uses the characters from the ten-episode OVA series.


Yuri rushed down the hall, her long hair streaming behind her, and people staring curiously after her. She found the entrance she was looking for and opened the glass doors. She barged right past the startled desk clerk, into the massive 3WA gym. "Kei!!" she shouted.

Several men and women were using the weight machines, stationary bikes, and treadmills. All of them heard Yuri, and knew what her tone of voice meant. They immediately dispersed, deciding that they'd had enough exercise for the day and should find something to do somewhere else. The gym emptied quickly, leaving only Yuri and one red-headed figure, bench-pressing a pair of large barbells. Yuri stood on front of the redhead, who of course was Kei, her partner.

Not that Yuri wouldn't have wanted to change that last part sometimes.

"I don't believe it! You're always doing this! We were supposed to be in the chief's office ten minutes ago!"

Kei paid Yuri no attention, focusing on her exercise. "Three-hundred fifty-seven, three fifty eight."

"You know, I'm actually glad. Maybe now the chief will get me a new partner, and you'll get a job that suits your talents: assistant security officer on an unmanned garbage scow!"

Up and down the barbells continued to go. "Three hundred eighty, three hundred eighty one."

"Kei, are you even listening to me?"

"Three hundred ninety-eight, three hundred ninety-nine, four hundred!" Kei put the barbells down and sat up, clasping her hands over her head in a sign of victory. "All right! A new personal best for the Lovely Angel Kei! Oh, hi, Yuri. How long have you been standing there?"

Yuri's left eyebrow took on a distinct twitch as she looked at her partner, dumb founded. "Didn't you hear a word I said?"

"Uh, well, no. What's up?" Kei stood up and grabbed her towel to wipe off her face.

"Never mind! Just get changed! Hurry, hurry!" Yuri said as she pushed Kei to the locker room. She waited outside as Kei got out of her workout clothes. "You are really amazing, Kei. The meeting with the chief just totally slipped your mind, didn't it? Genetically enhanced memory, my butt."

"I wonder if I have time for a shower."

"No, you don't have time for a shower! Just get dressed and let's go! We're fifteen minutes late!"

"OK, OK." Kei stepped out of the locker room, dressed in her standard uniform. "You really should chill out, Yuri. Sounds to me like someone's in need of a boyfriend."

"The chief is going to kill us, and you're making cracks about my personal life? Which is none of your business, by the way." They stepped out of the gym and ran towards the chief's office.

"Oh, don't worry about the chief. It'll be fine."

They got to the chief's office and said a breathless "Hello," to his assistant, who let them right in. They stood in front of the large white desk. "Sorry we're late, chief," said Yuri, who then nudged Kei.

"Uh, yeah, sorry about that," said Kei with a sheepish expression.

Chief Gooley, Kei and Yuri's immediate superior, looked up from the report in front of him and said, "Oh, hello, Kei and Yuri. It's fine, you're right on time."

"But," said Yuri as she and Kei sat down, "the briefing was supposed to start twenty minutes ago."

The chief smiled. "Well, I might have been a little off. I knew you'd be late, so I just told you to be here twenty minutes ago."

Kei nudged Yuri. "See? I told you it would be OK."

The chief hurriedly moved on before Yuri could decide she was angry at his fib. "Do either of you know much about the Kingdom of Ikaria?"

"Isn't it close to the Republic of Huja?" asked Kei.

"And didn't the republic have some sort of trouble recently?" asked Yuri.

"Correct on both counts." Gooley touched a control on his desk, and a map of the Hujan region of space came on the viewscreen, showing the Hujan Republic and the much smaller Kingdom of Ikaria. "Ikaria is a small planet, and has been a monarchy ever since it was colonized. Huja is its neighbor and number one trading partner. The trouble was an assassination," Dooley touched the control again and a picture of a sixtyish man with a distinguished look came up, "of this man, Tomas Schwarz, the president of Huja."

"Oh, right," said Kei. "That made the news vids for a week."

"I'm surprised you remember," said Yuri.

"Well, it pre-empted the zero-g wrestling championships."

Gooley continued. "The assassin was caught, but the hit was ordered by this man." A new photo came up, of a man in his forties in casual clothes, walking down a street. "Vido Zulga, head of the Amarnut syndicate."

That made Yuri sit up a little straighter. "The Amarnut syndicate controls criminal activity across half the galaxy."

"Correct. We've been after this guy for a long time, but he's slippery. Apparently, he never sleeps in the same place twice, and doesn't stay in the same system for more than a week. The Huja republic had been conducting a war on his organization, making life very difficult for his people. That's apparently why he ordered the assassination."

"But what does the Ikaria kingdom have to do with this?" asked Kei.

Just then, a buzzer sounded on Chief Gooley's desk. "Ah, perfect timing. That, Angels, is where the fourth member of our meeting comes in." He touched another control. A man's face came on the viewscreen. He was in his fifties, clean shaven, and in a large and important-looking office. "Ladies, let me introduce you. This is the current president of the Republic of Huja. Mr. President, allow me to present the Lovely Angels, our top trouble consultants."

"Well, I'm mighty pleased to meet you ladies. I asked Mr. Gooley for the best, and darned if he didn't deliver."

The Lovely Angels were unused to such praise. Yuri was almost glowing. "Thank you, Mr. President."

"Did Gooley fill you gals in?"

"He told us about Vido Zulga and why you want him, but how does Ikaria figure into all this?"

"Well, we have prime intelligence that says he's hiding out in the Ikarian kingdom, laying low while we're looking for him. We would send our own people in, but our relations with that planet aren't all they should be, and we, that is, my advisors and I, felt it might be better if we passed the ball to the 3WA for this one."

Chief Gooley spoke up. "I informed the president that he could count on our complete cooperation. Zulga is an interstellar criminal, exactly the sort of person 3WA was designed to deal with."

"So, what do say, Miss Yuri, Miss Kei? Can you go to Ikaria and capture this man for us?"

Both Kei and Yuri stood up. "Just leave it to us."

"Excellent. I'll have my people forward all the intelligence we've collected. Once you've got him, let us know and we'll take him off your hands for trial."

"Sounds like a simple enough job," observed Yuri.

"But remember, girls," the president cautioned, "time is very limited. He never stays in one place for very long, so do whatever it takes to find him fast. It may turn into the kind of job my daddy called 'a quick and dirty.'"

Yuri looked at her partner, then back at the president. "Mr. President, the Lovely Angels specialize in 'quick and dirty.' We'll have your man delivered right to your door. Count on it."


Several dozen light years away, on the 17th floor of the large office building that served as the headquarters for the Interplanetary Mutual insurance company, the manager in charge of the 12th district, which included the planet Ikaria, suddenly dropped his pen and sat up in his chair. His assistant noticed this and was concerned. "Are you all right, sir?"

The manager recovered and picked up his pen. "I'm fine, Henry. I just got this sudden chill down my spine for some reason."


The dialogue for the Dirty Pair is so much fun! This chapter practically wrote itself. Hope the rest of the story goes the same way.