Resident Evil 4: Red's Alert

"Shit, shit and double SHIT!" Leon S. Kennedy swore loudly as he ran into one of the many houses that made up the small village of...well he'd forgotten what it was called, although "hellhole" might be the best name for it.

The place was silent, he was pretty sure he'd shot them all.

"Now what?" he grumbled, peering out of a window, squinting out through the filthy glass. All he could see outside was a few chickens here and there.

As he watched, one laid an egg, stared at it, then ran off.

"Whew...all gone" he turned away from the widnow.

"death from aboove-"


He turned just as he heared the shout, seing a figure hurtling down from a tree, aiming for the window, only to bang into it and bounce right off.

He stared incredulously at this display of first class asshattery. Then, checking the gun was loaded properly, dashed outside, pointing the weapon at the source of the sound.

And got a big surprise.

"Which dipwit closed the fucking window?!"

It was a female, wearing some sort of military combat uniform, the mosty distinctive part of which was the blood red bullet-proof vest.

She turned her head, dark brown shoulder legnth hair framing a young, maybe 20 year old face.

"D'you close the effing thing? Soon as i can see straight, you are a dead man..."

Then she flopped back against the ground, closing her eyes with a groan, she didnt seem too concenred he was standing there with a shotgun pointed at her head.

"Hey?! HEY?!" he said sharply, kneeling down beside her and shaking her shoudler. "Wake up!!"

This got the desired effect, she opened her eyes and stared at him, seeming a tad more focused this time.

"Who're you then?" she asked blearily.

He hauled her up to a sitting position, "my name's Leon, who the hell are you?", he noticed an insignia on the back of the vest, a marking that looked like a circle, with a bird symbol inside it.

"M'name...well i can't tell ya that.." she stated simply, looking at him with that same vauge expression, rubbing at her head, "Damn what do they make those windows out of?"

"That'd be glass." Leon said, trying to figure out what that symbol was from. "Military?"

She nodded, then forced herself onto her feet. "Bingo, Mr.Leon. I be from the Red Raven Militia, nice ta meet ya."

She picked up the weapon she'd dropped on impact with window, and began checking it.

"That's all very well, but that doesnt explain why you're here. Who are you working for?" He kept a tight grip on the gun, waiting for her to answer.

"i already told you, the red raven group, what more do ya want?". She finished checking the weapon, and looked at the sky "i came 'ere because a few days ago, one of our helicopters went missing around this area, i'm trying to find out what happened, that's all."

He stared at her for several seconds, trying to think why a chopper from this unknown militia would be shot down...

"Hey," she intterupted his thinking abruptly, "you havent explained why YOU'RE here either...fair trade, i gave you my details, now hows about you tell ME?"

He raised an eyebrow, she had an odd attitude for a military soldier.

"Alright, "Red Jacket"" he called her, for lack of a better name, since she hadnt exactly given him one, "i'm searching for this girl, you seen her?".

He held out Ashleys photo, "her name's Ashley Graham, she's the presidents daughter..."

She peered at it for a moment, then shook her head regretfully. "Sorry, havent seen her before, i can't help you there."

"Does the name "Los illuminados" mean anything to you?"

She stared blankly at him, "is that anything to do with a missing lightbulb?".

He smacked his face into his palm. Nevermind that then.

Red stared at him as if he were the loopiest thing she'd come across, then simply shrugged and made to walk off, "whatever Mr.Leon, i got work to do..."


She stopped as he spoke, turning towards him with a bemused expression.


He lowered the gun, staring over at the church in the village. "Do you even know whats going on here?"

She opened her mouth to answer, but didnt get time to-

"Un forastero!"

"Shit!" Leon whipped round, seeing a villager lurching towards them, pitchfork raised above his head, "move it red jacket!!!" he yelled at her, as she stood staring in confusion at the possessed villager.


"Just move it!" he shoved her out of the way, levelled the shotgun and fired a few rounds into the mans chest, but the figure staggered on.

He pulled the trigger to fire another shot, but all that happened was an empty clicking, no ammo left.

He swore, trying to clip the new ammo in, looked up and seen the sunlight glinting off the fork's blades as it swung towards him...then stared in ashtonishment as a chicken soared out of nowhere and began attacking the ganados, ducking as the pitchfork narrowly missed his head as the enraged ganados swung it about, trying to throw the bird off.

He finished the ammo load, and fired a final shot into the man's skull.

The chicken, unharmed, simply clucked and wandered off.

"Hmph, didnt think chickens could fly..."

"Depends how high ya throw 'em!" Red, as he mentally called her now, sniggered, standing behind him with a grin on her face. "Not the best ammunition though, they crap on everythin'."

He just shook his head, she was a BASKET CASE. But even a basket case could help him find ashley.

"Listen, more than likely that chopper of yours was shot down by the Illuminados, theyre the source of the problems here."

She turned to look down at the dead villager.

"That guy is a loopy-nados?"

"ILLUMINADOS." he corrected her.

"Thats what i said, loony-nachos..."

He smacked his face with his palm again. "NEVERMIND. My point is we're more than likely after the same people."

She gave a slight nod, "I see. So then would ya mind if i tag along? I could use the company in this hellhole."

He stared at her a moment longer, not even sure if she could be trusted, but right now Ashley was all that mattered, and he needed all the help that was going.

"Might as well, seems like we're looking in the same place for an answer.." he turned and walked towards the church, hearing Red following behind him.

"Stupid in-lavatory-nadas.."


She chuckled, then the sound of pen on paper cut into the thick air as she wrote something down in a battered old notebook as she walked slowly behind him..

Personal Note

Talk about surprising, I ran into someone else in this desolate hellhole. He told me his name's leon, pretty sure he's american.

He seems to be looking for a missing girl, going by the name of "Ashley Graham". We seem to have joined up in some sort of makeshift team.

To be honest, though i dont know his true motives, I could use the help in locating the chopper, RRA-0014, so i'll go along with it for now.

He kept talking about some group called the "loopy-nados" or something like that. I don't know who or what that is, but if its responsible for RRA-0014's dissapearence, someone's gonna pay.

We were attacked by a hostille local, the guy took several shots to finally kill, and something about his eyes bothered me. They looked, dead somehow, but that can't be possible.

Hopefully i can find...mmo...ere...

..F..ucking pens.

-End Note.

Whatcha think? -KC