A/N: Okay, I haven't written a fanfic in years, so I suspect that this will be lacking in your (i.e. you, the Reader's) eyes. Sorry. Also, I've never written a TT fic and only recently began to read fics about them. I am a devout follower of the BBxRae pairing. So R&R, it's free.

This is dedicated to all the people who have unknowingly helped me through a tough phase of my life through their writing:

Golden-Sama (esp. for writing Ten Years Later and Anything, Anytime, Anywhere For You)

CalliopeMused (esp. for writing Dance of the Skeletons)

Misty Wildfire (esp. for writing Love and Babysitting)

Dragoness (esp. for writing (finish the damn thing!!) One Heart)

Acey (esp. for writing Pokemon Master wherever you are, thank you)

Washuu Puppet (esp. for writing Yoru no Uta)

El Queso de Malicioso (for being the first reviewer and giving me good revision guidelines)

The list goes on and includes people who don't post to FF, but I am grateful to them all the same...

Above all the others, this story is for Robyn, the best friend I have ever had and who's stories about her past have taught me more about life than any class or book could ever dream about...

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, or any other proprietary phrase in this story. I own the story, though. Of course, I would love to own TT, so feel free to give them to me, hint hint.

Also, 'batball' is NOT something I made up, sadly. People, sick, twisted people, DO play it. I love bats, and no bats or any other animals were harmed in the writing of this story.


Chapter 1: In All Darkness, There is Light

Flashback -- In a warped, nightmarish sense of the word

"I have been looking forwards to this for a long time, daughter."


"Your pitiful attempts at hiding your emotions won't work on me, foolish child. I know what you feel towards this one, and I must admit, I am disappointed. Didn't that fool, Azar, teach you that feelings make you weak? He did, and you didn't listen. Your feelings for this disgusting speck of flesh make you weak. Now watch as I make him destroy you."

The towering demon laughed then, a laugh that would terrify even the Horsemen of the Apocalypse. His blood-red face was twisted in a gloating smile, but in truth, Trigon the Terrible felt a spark of doubt. This seemed all too easy... but then again, these so-called 'superheroes' had never fought a decent opponent before, let alone the most powerful demon in the galaxy (him).

Deciding that worrying was pointless and ruined all the fun of this, Trigon returned to the physical world. He forced his way into the weakling's mind and ordered it to approach his daughter. It complied, slinking towards the chained form, its emotionless eyes like coal, nothing left of its former light-heartedness.

Raven wordlessly watched the approach of her father's mind-puppet, the body of a fellow Teen Titan. She had never seen him like this when he was still him, and she could no longer hide the tremors in her body.

Trigon felt her fear, and drank it in gleefully. This was why he had let her live this long -- torturing his daughter to death was SO much more satisfying than simply smiting her with a thought. Now for the finishing touch...

"Actually Raven," came an unexpected voice, "rather than letting you die not knowing life's greatest pleasure, I have decided to be generous..."

Raven's head snapped up, staring at the source of the voice in horror, the body of her friend. Trigon was speaking through him, mocking her.

"... I will make sure that you don't die a virgin, DEAR daughter." Trigon howled in laughter, the sound coming out as a gurgle from his puppet's mouth.

Raven felt sick, sicker than even Starfire's cooking had ever made her. She was going to be raped to death... by the body of her friend (and secret crush).

A muscular hand suddenly flashed before her face, grasping the hood of her cloak and pulling it off. Then, everything went dark...

End flashback-nightmare

Raven awoke in a cold sweat, hitting her head on something hard as she sat up too quickly, knocking her back to the cold floor.

Wait, how did she get on the floor? How did she get here, wherever 'here' was? The last thing she could remember was being chained to that rock... and Trigon... and HIM.

Suddenly, she realized what had happened. She had had a nightmare, for the first time in years. She was in Titan's Tower, in her room, and Trigon wasn't on Earth. That still did not explain why she was on the floor, with her head under her bookshelf, but it was a step in the right direction.

Extracting herself from her odd position, Raven stumbled over to her bedside and looked at the clock. It was three in the morning, on a Saturday. So much for making up for lost sleep... maybe she could convince Robin to move training to after dark instead of seven in the morning...

Raven wiped the sweat out of her eyes and focused, chanting her mantra in her head as she began her morning meditation.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zynthos."

"Azarath, Metrion, Zynthos."

"Azarath, Metrion, Zynthos."

"Azarath, Metrion, Zynth-" Raven felt something wet sliding down her face. 'I must have been sweating more than I thought.' she decided, as she wiped it with her hand. 'Very sticky for sweat, though... wait, STICKY?' Fully awake now, with no hope of resuming her meditation, Raven floated over to the small mirror on her dresser, and flicked the light switch by her door with a spark of telekinesis.

Red. Blood Red.

Raven muffled a scream as the sight of her blood brought back images of her dream.

Five minutes later, a calmer-Raven once again opened her eyes and looked into the mirror. Her head was bleeding from where she had hit the bookcase. Sighing, she threw her cloak on and walked out of her room, heading for the kitchen to get some gauze and tea.


Kitchen, Titan's Tower

Beast Boy couldn't sleep.

The previous day, after dropping the HIVE kids off, for the hundredth time, at the city jail; the Titans had decided to go to the park to have lunch. Everything was going well -- Raven had even responded to one of his jokes with a frown, a vast improvement over her usual glare -- when Beast Boy's ears had picked up the tortured scream of a bat. Turning around to locate the scream's source, he had seen a trio of kids, preteens by the look of them, playing 'batball' with a baby fruit bat, the battered remains of its mother on the ground in front of the biggest of the kids. They were laughing as they cruelly kicked the infant from one leg to another, and then to the adjacent kid, not caring at all that they had already torn off one of its wings and that their shoes were stained with innocent blood.

Flashback, previous day, Jump City Addison Park

The trio of bat-abusers was oblivious to the danger they were putting themselves in, too engrossed in their game to notice the growls that the wind carried to them, or the vibrations in the air as a certain godchild of Gaia felt the berserker-rage descending on him.

Beast Boy knew that he had to control himself. Sure, the kids had to pay, but they deserve THAT. But it was too late, and Beast Boy's mind lost control, the Beast had awoken.

The other Titans suddenly realized that something was very, VERY wrong with their green-teammate. Cyborg nodded to Starfire, who held up three fingers.


The Beast began to move towards the still-oblivious sources of its rage.


The youngest of the three kids suddenly stopped laughing and looked confused, prompting the others to ask what was wrong.


Starfire grabbed the Beast's left arm as Cyborg did the same to the right, just as the Beast began to charge. Digging their heels into the soft earth, they held it back, but they were tiring, fast. Robin pulled a disk off his belt, whispered an apology, and let it fly, just as the Beast broke free.

The disk struck the Beast in the middle of its back, wrapping its body in ice.

The kids had finally realized that they were in DEEP shit, and began to run, leaving the torn infant bat to die a slow death. Even through the ice, the Beast could see what they had done, and it was having none of it. It clenched its entire body, and shattered its icy prison, stunning Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg long enough that it could escape, and charge after the trio.

However, there was still one more Titan in the equation, and she was already standing in front of the Beast, no fear showing in her eyes as it charged towards her. Those eyes began to crackle with white lightning, and her hands became encased in black energy. Raising her hands, she shouted:

"Azarath, Metrion, Zynthos."

The Beast roared in frustration as it was bound to a tree by unbreakable cords of black energy, but it simply uprooted the tree and kept going.

Raven, with a look of regret on her face, lifted the tree telekinetically, and slammed it down onto the back of the Beast's neck.

The Beast fell, morphing back into the human Beast Boy as it hit the ground. Beast Boy would not be getting up for a while.

Raven suddenly felt a tug on her cloak, and she turned to see the trembling trio of preteens standing behind her, wide-eyed and pale.

"Yes, what do you want?" She asked.

"Th- thank y- you for saving us," stuttered the oldest one.

"Who said anything about saving you?" Raven growled. "I just won't leave any cuts."

A terrified scream ripped through the park, or would have, if Raven hadn't already wrapped their heads in energy. The reason for their terror was obvious to the remaining Titans: a 20 foot tall, 4-eyed Raven, chanting, in a voice that Trigon himself would envy, her mantra.


The three preteens fell to the ground, unconscious, their bodies writhing in pain.

End flashback

Beast Boy felt his throat tighten as a sob forced its way to the surface. He let it out, he didn't need to worry about being caught at three in the morning, and he had another three hours at least before Raven would arrive to make her tea.

He had wanted to tear the limbs off those kids and crush their bodies until they were nothing more than a thin paste coating the grass. The Beast inside of him had thought of nothing but avenging the bats.

Beast Boy was not a killer. Among the Titans, he was known as a clown, one who fainted at the sight of too much blood. He hated himself for trying to kill those kids. They definitely deserved it, but it wasn't his place to exact justice upon them. He was a superhero. Superheroes didn't sink to that level.

Nevertheless, he had. Even though the other Titans had prevented him from actually killing them, he would have if Raven hadn't hit him with that tree. (He was still sore from that)

Maybe he wasn't fit to be a superhero. If he couldn't control himself and he began to attack civilians, the Titans would have to put him in jail forever. He didn't want to hurt his friends like that; they were the only friends he had ever had. And then, there was HER, who he cared for more than as a friend, but beyond that, he couldn't explain how he felt.

Perhaps he should leave the Tower, forever, go to some island where no humans lived, and give in to his feral side and live as the Beast until he died. Yes, that would probably be for the best. That way, Jump City would be safer, and the Titans would be happier. Especially Raven, who hated him with a passion. Maybe, upon learning that he had left, she would be pleased at his behavior for once, maybe even smile... he chuckled at the irony, that only by leaving would he finally succeed in making Rae smile.

Beast Boy decided to go and pack up his things while everyone was still asleep. The sooner he left, the sooner Rae would smile.


Raven opened the door to the kitchen, only to see the tear-streaked face of a certain green Titan twist into shock at her sudden appearance. By the looks of things, he had been about to leave the kitchen when she arrived.

'Oh no you don't,' she thought. "Beast Boy, what happened?" she asked as kindly as she could, which translated into what is commonly referred to as sounding slightly concerned.

"I'm leaving." Well, THAT was unexpected.

She glared and growled, "I don't think so."

"You don't understand, Raven. I'm leaving. I'm leaving the Teen Titans forever. Now, you can be happy, and I won't kill anyone."

Life does not know rage like that of an angry Raven.

"Stop talking such nonsense, you moron! You aren't going anywhere until you tell me what in Azer's name you are babbling about." Raven was annoyed at Beast Boy's behavior, but deep down, she was scared. What if he was serious? And if he was, why did he think leaving would make her happy?

Wait, maybe... he must still be upset about yesterday's 'incident' at the park. None of the Titans knew what she had done to those kids, and none of them dared ask. She had 'raped their minds,' as the Book of Azar put it. She had learned exactly what they had done to those bats, which were still alive, but would not be for long. So, Raven had done what she thought Beast Boy would have wanted, she replaced the preteen's memories of having fun playing 'batball' with those of the dying bats. Maybe, Beast Boy would feel better if he knew that justice had been served.

He didn't.

"You did what?!" He cried, "But, Raven, why?" Beast Boy looked confused, to say the least.

"Hello? I'm an empath, remember? I could feel how the agony of those bats affected you, and I felt the sick glee of those hell-spawned-kids, too. Why did you get so upset, though? You went into Hulk-mode, Beast Boy. That doesn't happen that often. There is no way that incident could have driven you to such measures on its own."

"It's a long story," he muttered. Oh no, you won't get away with just that. "Explain. Everything. NOW." she said, steel in her voice. He flinched and looked at his feet. He sighed and began to speak.