Sinful Thoughts, Sinful Love
Summary: Your tradition and my tradition is warped into something terrible yet beautiful at the same time. I'll kill for you and you'd kill for me. You'll never let me go, you want me trapped into your darkness and I let it. Your own little bright ball of treasure locked into your soul possibly even more complicated than Yami's. A beautiful warped love affair that may never fade out of existence.
Dinner parties aren't really my thing, you know? Unless it's a small get together with close friends and chips and hamburgers are involved.
But then again, that would be like a barbeque instead of a dinner party. Well who cares? It's not like anybody is testing my intelligence or anything...
Anything fancy-shmancy is too uncomfortable for me. I'm the kind of normal middle-classed person who probably won't fit in into such a formal establishment in the first place.
It still bothers me though. I was Seto Kaiba's boyfriend. Surely, I should be invited with him into these formal get togethers and support my man, right?
He said that he didn't need me to go and that he can handle going to the party himself. He said I'd probably get bored with all the corporate talks anyways. So why does it feel like he's ashamed of me?
Sure I don't have a degree in Business and I only just started into a community college while Seto dropped Kyoto University's invite to wide spread his corporation all over the world, but don't I have a say into whether or not I would like to go with him as well?
I know I'm rambling, don't need to scoff at me. After all, you wouldn't be hearing me so far into my complaining to go away.
Right now, I'm sitting haphazardly on our big bed while Seto changes into an expensive formal attire. I can't help it, people would sacrifice a limb to see him take off his shirt even an inch of it. I guess I should probably be lucky that I see more than taking his shirt off on a daily basis, if you know what I mean...
I am depressed, but what else was new. I seemed to be getting more depressed every day for a while. Seto has been going to these outings for quite a bit now, and even as he says that he has to, I can't help but feel that maybe something...or somebody...is giving him the excuse of going. He did seem to be glowing quite a bit recently. Maybe jealously is rearing it's ugly head these days. But why should I bother with it. Seto thinks it's hot when I get jealous, especially the make-up sex afterwards when I really pull all the stops. Yes, Seto the Anti-hero is a pervert.
He sees me staring and gives me a teasing grin, one that made me give one back as well. After that, he begins to move very slowly when taking off his clothes and it's got me panting on the inside.
"Like what you see?" He says to me, his shirt off revealing his seductive torso. I've seen it loads of times and I never get over the feel of it. So smooth and lickable...mine's is taut but scarred by street brawling. I'm very sensitive about my body. The first time I went to bed with Seto, I was having second thoughts because I refused to take off my clothing and show off my battle scars. Seto said that it just made his need for me more intense. Creepy...
"I always like what I see, Seto Kaiba," I answered back and leaned back suggestively on the bed. I want him to forget the stupid party and join with me on the bed. I'm sure he'd have more fun here.
Seto raises an elegant eyebrow, probably weighing the situation. I hope he decides on caressing me instead of caressing his ego while he showed off his business smarts with all the other stuck up jerks three times his age. As I locked eyes with him, I made sure my eyes were heated in sexual desire. I'm not so naive now, am I?
He loves it when I set up a mating call with my body and sounds. I'm the only tie to his animal instincts, the only one who can make him unravel from the electronic world into the world of animalistic tendencies. It's doesn't take a smart person to figure out that mankind lives for the sole purpose of pleasure. Seto's no exception. If I didn't exist, he'd probably live out his life as a cyborg.
"Stay here with me," I say to him with seduction. He can't avoid it forever, he finds it extremely sexy for me to beg. But begging will be the last resort.
He's quiet and it shouldn't take this long for him to jump into bed. Was this person more special to him than I am?
"I need to go, puppy," He said back to me, but I see that he hasn't moved to change. Point for me.
I've been to Seto's dinner party only once and I was just the busboy helping the catering back then. It was a snooze-fest and I couldn't wait for the night to end and get my meager pay. I had to admit though, he looked sexy in a suit that it helped balance the torture. We were barely going out back then.
I remembered that night because my other busboy buddy invited me into a vacant room to talk. I had no idea that he was coming on to me. He was handsome and intelligent, but he couldn't compare to Seto in anyway.
He kissed me, but only because he caught me off guard at the time. I didn't like it, but I wasn't rude enough to shove him off of me; only nicely. The guy was heartbroken when I told him I was seeing someone else. I sure hope that he got over it these days...
It surprised me later on because Seto pulled me into a spice closet and proceeded to fondle and make out with me intensely. I figured it was because he got so sick and tired of hearing old men ramble that his young adult side demanded some sexual interaction with his busboy boyfriend. I could picture the front page now: 'Perfect Seto Kaiba found in closet with street trash busboy', oh how that rolled off the tongue so easily. I figured that he needed the excitement of getting caught to soothe his pent up frustration of being denied his teenagehood and who was I to protest? It's not like I don't want his body grinding against mine.
When Seto is pissed during sex, he likes to growl 'mine!' to me with every thrust. Despite being dominant since I was eight, I enjoyed the fact that someone considered me worthy of belonging to, especially the great Seto Kaiba. When he growls 'mine!' it's a low, haunting tenor and I could feel his evil, impending darkness swallow my very being, my soul presented to him on a platter as he violates my body, mind and heart. And I love every bit of it. I know I'm his, and he knows that he belongs to me as well. He can't escape me that easily as I can escape from him.
Which is why I'm getting mad because Seto is still contemplating his actions. Missing one dinner party shouldn't be a huge deal!
I get up with a growl and my eyes change from seductive to royally pissed. "What's wrong?" I ground out evenly. If you were to look at me now, I'd look like a demonic mate angry at my lover for not consummating our love. I can't help it. "If you don't want me, that's fine. Why don't you hurry up and run to your little bitch at the party and see if I care!"
He looks at me as if he's about to hit me. I don't care. Jealously is present and who am I to suppress it. Seto is wanted by everyone and it drives me crazy. The longing looks rich and powerful women give to him whenever he walks past him and undressing him with their eyes, I'm sick of it! I want to kill them all, he's mine!
Are you scared now? Did you think I'm just some sweet little puppy in the streets just sitting idly by while the best thing that's ever happened to me gets taken away from me? I'm no street punk because I like to spout out words of friendship, I got where I am today with hard work. I've never loved anyone so badly as I love the arrogant Seto Kaiba. He's my equal, my yin or yang, the only one who ever saw the real me that no one, not even my friends, would want to see.
I know I'm going to cry, I feel the tears welling up. If Seto leaves me, I don't exist! He is the only one who can see me amongst everyone else whose a thousand times better than me. School, dueling, life, no one knows my name even as I work my hardest. While Yugi was the main center-point of our group, Seto only payed attention to me and me only. I don't want him to leave me alone. I want to exist...!
Seto raises his hand and I'm ready to take the slap. I've been doing it all my life.
I flinch as I feel his warm hand touch my cheek to wipe away the tears that nearly escaped. It's surprising that he's so warm and he has such a cold heart at the same time.
I put my head down but he won't let me and I'm too ashamed to show my face to him, but I let him anyways and he kisses me. It's not as passionate as the ones I get in bed, but it was comforting and gentle. I calmed down instantly. He doesn't realize how much power he has over me. If he asked me to shoot myself or jump off the Kaiba Corp building I'd probably do it.
I could see the clock past his shoulder. He's officially late to the party. But then again, I couldn't care less.
His kiss slowly intensifies and I comply. Maybe this was his way of saying goodbye...
This person...can even make Seto Kaiba feel pity for the lover he's ready to throw away. Whoever they are, they must really have Seto to the point that even I have no power over it.
It just...wasn't fair.
I always got the short stick of things. Luck was on my side, but substance wasn't. No...I'd die without Seto. The one person who picked me out of among a million spectators when so many would turn the other direction.
"I love you," I tell him against his mouth. It seemed right to tell him since he was going to leave me anyways.
He stops to stare at me, but I couldn't read his expression. I was never a thinking person.
I'm starting to wonder if he'd go to the party after this. How would he tell his new lover about our break-up? Would he say it gently? Brag? Expressionlessly?
I stare into his eyes. They were a brilliant sapphire. All of my friends have beautiful gem-like eyes. Yami's eyes were like rubies while Yugi's were amethyst. Bakura had onyx eyes while Ryou had topaz ones. Otogi had emerald eyes and Honda had peridot. And Marik had haunting silver eyes and Malik had clear pearl ones. All I had was an ugly brown.
Seto used to call me an idiot and said my eyes were hazel, common but down to earth. Something comfortable instead of out of this world, warm instead of shocking. A quiet October afternoon. I thought he was on crack. I saw nothing in my eyes when I stared into the mirror. All I saw was a street trashed punk who'd never amount to anything other than being the stereotypical dumb blond. The only potential I saw was not getting killed.
I understood why he would leave me, I'm nothing special. All my life I've been told that.
I want to get up and leave, but Seto had me pinned to the bed. I don't know what to do now, but then again, it wouldn't be the first.
He won't stop staring at me, so I nudged him a bit to get his attention. "Get off of me," I say quietly. "Let me go...?" I didn't mean to end it in a question, but even I had doubts about what I was going to do.
"Puppy..." He growled softly. "This is more than a dinner party, isn't it?"
My eye twitched in annoyance. For a genius, he sure is slow on the uptake. "Didn't I said to go to your 'little bitch'?"
His face contorted a bit. It looked like he was trying not to laugh. "If you don't mean you, then no. I'm perfectly content for what you have to offer me."
"You're a fucking liar," I retorted back. "'Content' shouldn't be in your vocabulary. You're too cold for my taste and I'm too annoying for yours. You're mean and I'm naive. You're everything to this world and I'm..."
Seto raised his eyebrow for me to continue. I answer quietly, "...Nothing."
"Nothing? Well, well, aren't we having low self-esteem these days." Seto smirks his trademark grin that makes me weak in the knees. "I think I know how to fix that..." He trails off with his seductive tenor whisper as he pushes me down on the bed. I'm trapped with no where to go except to comply to the dominating fiend on top of me.
I shiver as he began to whisper sinful words in my ear, losing my train of thought. "Maybe the reason why I won't let you go to my parties is because that same man who unjustified a kiss from you so long ago is catering in all of them. Or, because I'm too jealous of the fact that if I showed you off to the most powerful men alive, they would steal you away from me. You belong to me, Katsuya Jounouchi. I'm so possessive, I want you to stay here in my mansion, in this room, in my bed..."
The last part he whispered sent chills into my body so powerfully that I knew I was trapped. Trapped into his sapphire eyes and into his ice cold soul.
I am the jealous type. So jealous, I could become the next homicidal maniac if provoked. And he was the possessive type. So possessive, he'd chain me to this bed if the thought should come across.
This relationship...is dangerous. In an alternative universe, I could've forgotten all about Seto and went on with my life maybe hooked up with Mai Valentine and maybe even had married her. Seto could've went on as a cold-hearted billionaire with no one to love but his little brother and his past love, Kisara, who he doesn't give a damn about now a days. I could've, should've walked away from this. Every shrink would terminate it because it was unhealthy, but I've seen worst off.
And frankly, I don't care. And I guess neither does he.
I was trapped. Trapped underneath his tainted body, a demon in an angel's vessel. But I want him. I want him to kiss me, make love to me, touch me...love me.
Seto Kaiba, I can't stop having you because you are a drug I'm addicted to. Every movement, every sound you make drives me up the wall.
Your tradition and my tradition is warped into something terrible yet beautiful at the same time. I'll kill for you and you'd kill for me. You'll never let me go, you want me trapped into your darkness and I let it. Your own little bright ball of treasure locked into your soul possibly even more complicated than Yami's. A beautiful warped love affair that may never fade out of existence.
And as you proceed to show your love for me with rustled sheets and soft moans, the only coherent thought in my head is that I wouldn't change a goddamn thing about it.
A/N: Like it, love it? Too dark? Too emo? Let me know!