Hi everyone, this here is my second attempt at writing an Attack of the Killer Tomatoes fanfic. This is my vision of a new Killer Tomatoes saga and it takes place after the second season when the Killer Tomatoes took over the world. And the animated Killer Tomatoes series are property of Marvel and Fox.
Planet of the Tomatoes
By Cullen Pittman
That's Your Cucumber!
In the vast plain of outer space, we see something green and long speeding through the galaxy. It looked almost like a giant cucumber, but it also looked like some kind of strange rocket ship. In truth, it was both. The cucumber shaped rocket was approaching a planet called Earth. In the old days, the third planet from the sun known as Earth would be colored blue and green, but now it looked like it had been stained completely red, almost like it was a meatball that got covered in marinara.
The rocket curiously approached the red planet to get a closer look and then started studying the surfaces of each section of Earth. The planet seemed to be populated with vicious round red monsters known as killer tomatoes. The rocket soared past each country and studied the chaos and suffering that was going on. In Italy, the tomatoes were stomping on pizza and spaghetti parlors. In France, the tomatoes were decorating the Eiffel Tower to look like a huge ketchup bottle. In England, some Tomato guards were surrounding Buckingham Palace bowing down to a huge tomato dressed like a queen. In Australia, some huge tomatoes were hopping around with smaller tomatoes in what looked like pouches in their fronts. And in Siberia, we see a bunch of tomatoes freezing in the snow trying to do Russian dances to keep warm. If there were any people on this planet, they were either in hiding, taken prisoner, or being chased by the vicious tomatoes.
The unseen pilot of the rocket studied everything and replied in a disgusted voice, "Otamot!" Then the rocket went back up into space to study the red colored Earth at a distance once again. Every inch of the Earth was red, except one tiny spot that seemed to be free from redness. The pilot reached out a gloved hand and took out something that looked like a photograph of a 5 year old Earth boy in a baseball cap. The pilot made a command in a strange language and the rocket started to head for the red cleared spot on Earth known as San Zucchini, California.
San Zucchini seemed to be the only town on Earth to be free from tomato tyranny. The citizens were living peaceful happy lives. Next, we come to a place called Finletter's Tomatoless Pizza Palace at night where customers were eating some weird looking pizzas. Some were topped with peanut butter, some with chocolate sauce, and some with caramel and whipped cream. These types of toppings might seem disgusting to people who didn't live in a tomato controlled world, but these people didn't care, just as long as there were no tomatoes on their pizza. The owner, Wilbur Finletter and his waitress, Tara, were at the booth watching the news on the above TV.
"This is Whitley White bringing you the latest reports", said the newscaster standing at the edge of the town. "So far, San Zucchini is experiencing its sixteenth day of no killer tomato attacks. And it's all thanks to these wonderful worms guarding our beloved town, those mysterious creatures from Africa known as the Tomato Worms!" Whitley pointed to a tribe of worms about the size of a kid. They were smiling and waving to the camera with their tails. One of them was holding up a sign that said, "WOW IH."
"You got your sign upside-down, dimbo!" whispered one of the worms.
"Oops!" said the other worm blushing and then turned the sign around until it said, "HI MOM!"
"Here with me is the Chief of the Tomato Worms", said Whitley, approaching the largest worm with a crown on his head. "May I call you Chiefie!"
"Only if you want me to burrow inside your head and eat the part of your brain that came up with that demeaning name!" said the Chief worm.
"Okay, how about I just call you Your Majesty instead?" said Whitley sweating.
"That'll make me happy", said the Chief.
"Your Majesty", said Whitley. "You and your tribe used to protect the Heart of Africa from the killer tomato hordes that tried to conquer it. So why leave your precious jungle to live here in the obscure, small town of San Zucchini?"
"Simple Whitley", said the Chief. "Two kids from America traveled to our secret hidden village and told us about the juiciest killer tomatoes hanging out in their town. So we inched our way here and had a ball chomping away at those luscious tomato bigheads! Ever since then, the townspeople have been so good to us. Giving us stuff like TVs, stereos, videos of old sci-fi shows, and all sorts of neat stuff. And all we have to do is guard this town from any killer tomatoes that try to sneak in."
"And there you have it", said Whitley. "And we should thank the two young heroes for bringing us these heroic worms. They're 10 year old Chad Finletter and the pretty and hot teenage Tara Boumdeay."
"I must say Tara, I'm really glad you and my nephew traveled all the way to Africa to bring back those worms", said Wilbur. "We really could've used those warriors during the Great Tomato Wars back in the old days."
"Thank you, Mr. Finletter", said Tara. "I just wish there were enough Tomato Worms to free the entire world."
"At least San Zucchini is a start", said Wilbur. "If only the Killer Tomato Task Force was big again, then maybe we'd have a chance to splat every killer tomato on this planet! We lost a lot of good men and women during the first Tomato War." Wilbur then turned to a bulletin board that had a bunch of photographs of heroic looking soldiers and above it said, "IN LOVING MEMORY!"
"I've never noticed that in the restaurant before", said Tara.
"Oh, it's just something I decided to hang back up ever since we rebuilt the pizza palace from the last attack", said Wilbur. "I thought I should acknowledge the brave soldiers who gave up their lives to protect us from those cold sauced tomato monsters!"
"I can't believe all these people lost their lives because of to-to-tomatoes!" gasped Tara, for she started out as a tomato thanks to an experiment from the evil Dr. Gangreen. She felt ashamed that her tomato race caused all those deaths.
"Wait a minute", said Tara, looking at a blank photo. "I think you put this picture on backwards." She was about to unpin it and turn it the other way until Wilbur grabbed her hand.
"If you don't mind, Tara", said Wilbur. "I prefer to keep this certain photo facing the board. Subject closed! Now I have to go in the back and cook some more pizzas", and he went into the kitchen, leaving a puzzled Tara.
Just then, the fuzzy tomato known as F.T. jumped onto the table and used his vine to grab onto the backwards photo. "No, F.T!", said Tara, sternly. "Mr. Finletter will squash you for removing that!" She took the photo from F.T. and suddenly got a look at it. It was a photo of a couple in soldier uniforms, a man with a brown mullet and a big chin and a pretty woman with short blonde hair. They were holding a 5 year old blonde haired boy with a baseball cap.
"Why that looks like Chad!" gasped Tara.
"Did somebody call me?" asked a kid's voice. Tara looked up and saw Wilbur's nephew, Chad, coming in holding his skateboard.
"Oh, hi Chad", said Tara. "How did those pizza deliveries go?"
"Just the usual", said Chad. "That snooty rich guy tipped me with jacks again. I would've preferred if he tipped me with Nintendo Games."
"Say Chad", said Tara showing him the photo. "Do you know anything about this picture and this couple? That little kid there looks a lot like you."
Chad suddenly gasped in shock as he saw the photo. He stood there silently for a minute and then tears started to form in his eyes. "Chad, are you all right?" asked Tara concerned.
"Oh, yeah", said Chad snapping out of it and then drying his eyes with his sleeve. He took the photo from Tara and pinned it back to the bulletin board backwards. "I don't know if Uncle Wilbur told you this, but he says that this particular photo must be pinned on here backwards at all times", said Chad with a somber look.
"Okay", said Tara. "But do you know who that couple was? Were they your….?"
"Listen, Tara", said Chad in a sad voice. "I really don't have time to talk right now. I just remembered something about tonight." And he took two breadsticks from a nearby table and picked up his skateboard again. "Please tell Uncle Wilbur I have some business to do in the park."
"What kind of business?" asked Tara.
"Don't worry", said Chad. "Uncle Wilbur will know. See ya'!" And he skated out the door like a lightning bolt. F.T. made a questionable squeak.
"Something seemed really wrong with Chad", said Tara, picking up F.T. "Why is he going to the park with two breadsticks?"
"Breadsticks?" asked Wilbur who came back in. "Oh dear!" he went over to the nearby calendar and looked at the day. "Oh yes. It's the anniversary."
"Anniversary?" asked Tara.
"Tara", said Wilbur. "Since you're like a big part of our family, I might as well go ahead and show you this picture." He took the photo off the bulletin board once again and showed it to Tara and F.T. "This was Chad when he was 5 years old and these two with him are his parents."
"His parents?" gasped Tara.
"Yep", said Wilbur. "This here is my brother Rob and his wife Elisa. They were the finest soldiers I ever got to work with during the Great Tomato War. And they were great parents to Chad as well."
"Wow", said Tara, studying the couple. "I've always wondered what Chad's parents were like. Wait a minute, if they were on the loving memory board…."
"They disappeared 5 years ago", said Wilbur with a sad look.
"Did they get eaten by, you know whats?" asked Tara.
"That's my guess", said Wilbur. "No bodies or traces of them were found. So we predicted that huge and rotten killer tomatoes must've devoured every inch of them! Ooooh! It boils my mozzarella just thinking about that day!"
"How did Chad take it?" asked Tara.
"Pretty badly", said Wilbur. "Chad said he was the only one who saw everything. But he said it wasn't tomatoes that made his parents go away. He claimed that a huge flying cucumber appeared in the sky and took them away."
"A flying cucumber?" asked Tara. F.T. made a question mark shaped cucumber appear over his head.
"Chad was only 5 years old back then", said Wilbur. "Maybe he only said that so he wouldn't have to eat my famous cucumber pizza again. Or maybe he imagined the giant cucumber just so he could push the gory truth out of his mind. Ever since that day, I took the boy in and looked after him like my own."
"I can imagine how poor Chad feels", said Tara as she and F.T. looked at the door the boy left through. "But why did he take two breadsticks with him?"
"His parents really loved breadsticks", said Wilbur looking out the night window. "In fact, they loved eating them so much that they hardly ever have room to eat one of my latest pizza recipes. It's like they were trying to avoid my cooking."
In the San Zucchini Central Park, we see Chad skating on the pathway. He watched all the kids playing, having late night picnics, and having fun with their parents. One of the kids held up a giant banner that said, "HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY and another kid held up a banner that read, HAPPY FATHERS' DAY. "Excuse me", Chad asked the kids. "But today is not Mothers' Day or Fathers' Day."
"We know", said the first boy.
"We're just thankful we have loving Moms and Dads who will never ever leave us", said the second boy as they ran off to hug their parents.
"Oh brother!" groaned Chad as he skated off leaving the happy families.
Chad kept skating and soon saw a mother and father squirrel playing with their babies and a mother and father bird feeding their new baby bird. Chad flinched as he looked up in the sky and saw two airplanes along with a tiny airplane flying in between them. And it looked like they were all joining wings. "Aw, come on!" groaned Chad. "Was all this because I snatched the last doughnut from the writers' lounge?" And he continued skating and then came to a spot on a small hill. There he approached two small rocks planted in the ground and on them had the words, MOM and DAD, written on them in marker.
"Hi, Mom and Dad", said Chad as he bent down and placed the two breadsticks on the ground right in front of the rocks and then looked up in the sky. "I've placed your favorite yearly snacks down here once again. Maybe you can come by and get them and maybe even stay a while or maybe forever. Please?" And he covered his face in his arms to hide a sad look. Then he felt some hands on his shoulders. "Mom and Dad!" gasped Chad as he looked up but then saw somebody else.
"Hi, Chad", said Tara smiling while F.T. was there too.
"Tara", gasped Chad trying to suck in his sadness. "What are you doing out here?"
"Uncle Wilbur told me everything", said Tara as she saw the two rocks. "Are these your parents' tombstones?"
"No, these are just rocks to remind me of the spot I last saw them", said Chad.
"I'm sorry that your parents were killed by,..you know!" said Tara. "Now I am truly ashamed to be one of them."
"Listen, Tara", said Chad. "Whatever Uncle Wilbur told you, it wasn't tomatoes that killed my parents. My parents weren't even killed in the first place. They were kidnapped!"
"By a flying cucumber?" asked Tara.
"Uncle Wilbur thinks I just imagined it", said Chad. "But I'll tell you what really happened 5 years ago. On second thought, could I just have a flashback please? It's kind of painful to talk about it."
The screen nodded and started to ripple. We see a 5 year old Chad with his parents enjoying a nice picnic in the park. Just then, a horde of killer tomatoes started to charge at them. Chad's mom picked up her boy and hid him inside a hole in a hollow tree and then went to join her husband. Chad watched amazed as his mom used her karate to splat the tomato villains into paste while his dad took out an egg beater gun and turned the rest of the tomatoes into soup.
Once the battle was over, Chad smiled and saw his parents standing proudly in the sauce covered park. He was about to climb out of the tree to join them until a huge shadow covered the sky. Chad hid back in the tree as he saw a gigantic rocket cucumber appear in the sky. His parents looked up in shock and suddenly a hatch opened and a pair of huge vines dropped down, grabbed the couple and lifted them into the rocket. Then the cucumber blasted off into the sky. "MAMMA! PAPPA!" cried Chad as he ran out of the tree and tried to chase after the rocket, but then disappeared out of sight. Chad got down on his knees in the sauce covered grass and started crying. Just as his Uncle Wilbur approached the scene. Then the flashback ended.
"That was the saddest flashback I've ever seen", said Tara with teary eyes. F.T. sobbed as well. "But I'm just thankful that it wasn't my tomato race that did away with your parents", said Tara as she hugged Chad.
"Thanks for listening, Tara", said Chad getting himself back together again. "I kind of needed a friend right now."
"But why place breadsticks on this spot?" asked Tara. "Don't people usually honor missing loved ones with flowers?"
"Mom and Dad always loved breadsticks", said Chad. "And every time I end up placing two breadsticks on this spot, they suddenly disappear. That must be a sign that they're still alive and they're trying to make their way back to me." Then Chad looked down and found the breadsticks gone. "See, what did I tell you?" said Chad with hope.
Tara looked in the distance and saw the breadsticks getting dragged away by a group of ants. She decided not to let Chad know about this.
"A giant flying cucumber does sound out of the ordinary", said Tara, "I wonder what it was doing here and why it took away your parents?"
"I don't know", said Chad with rage. "But if that creepy cucumber ever comes back again, I'll…."
"Save that thought", said Tara as she and F.T. suddenly looked up in the sky. "Because I think that's happening now!"
"What?" gasped Chad as he looked up and saw a cucumber shaped rocket traveling through the night sky. "It's finally happening!" he gasped. He quickly grabbed his skateboard and followed after the rocket.
"Wait, Chad!" cried Tara as she took F.T. and jumped on the skateboard with him.
Back at the pizza palace, Wilbur was stuffing a garbage bag in the dumpster that was sprouting a moving tentacle. "Giant kraken pizza wasn't my best idea this year", sighed Wilbur as he tried to swat back the tentacle with a cooking fork and closed the dumpster. Just then, he looked up in the sky and saw the cucumber rocket. "A flying cucumber!" gasped Wilbur. "Then Chad was telling the truth!" He rushed back into the parlor and grabbed his war uniform. "Maybe my brother and sister in-law haven't died a horrible ketchup death!" said Wilbur as he slipped it on.
At the KRUD TV station, Whitley White was going home for the evening. "Interviewing worms!" he grumbled. "I hate these slow news nights!" Just then, he saw the cucumber rocket. "Visitors from space!" gasped Whitley. "A story like this'll get me out of this small town station and maybe on 60 minutes! Come on, crew. Let's get…." Whitley looked around and saw the empty lot. "Oh yeah, that's right", sighed Whitley. "My crew's gone home to their families! Those family things have become more addictive than video games! Oh well, I guess I'm taking this one solo!" And he took out a mini-camcorder, got into a news van, and followed the rocket.
In a small house, we see the evil Dr. Gangreen and his surfer dude like assistant, Igor Smith, working in a garden. "Soon, Igor!" cackled Gangreen while holding a hoe. "We'll have a new army to take over the world!"
"Cool, your greened thumbship!" said Igor. "What kind of vicious tomato monsters are you growing this time?"
"No more tomatoes!" shouted Gangreen. "I'm through with those turncoat little redheads! When I created my finest tomato army and took over the world, they double crossed me, kicked us out of my evil scientist's home and we ended up living in this low rent home! Which is why I'm going to start over with a new type of vegetable army!"
"What kind?" asked Igor, "Oooh! Let me guess! Potatoes!"
"Of course not!" growled Gangreen. "Potatoes sound too much like tomatoes! If I grow killer potatoes, their brains might get confused and think those tomatoes are their brothers and then turn against me as well!"
"Okay, how about jellybeans?" said Igor.
"Jellybeans aren't real vegetables you dope!" shouted Gangreen. "The only damage they can do to people is cause tooth decay!"
"Cucumber!" gasped Igor, looking at the sky.
"Yes, that is a good guess", said Gangreen. "But I'm giving you one dufus point for saying cucumber when you should've used the plural form which is cucumbers!"
"I mean one cucumber, your most grammar-obsessedness!" said Igor, pointing to the sky, "One mondo big cucumber!"
"What the..?" gasped Gangreen as he looked up into the sky and saw the cucumber rocket. "So, it's come back!"
"Do you know that cucumber?" asked Igor.
"Let's say I had a close encounter of a blurred kind with it 5 years ago!" said Gangreen, now making a huge evil smile. "Follow me, Igor!"
"Where are we going?" asked Igor.
"You'll see!" said Gangreen, running off somewhere with Igor following him.
"But I still don't know what types of vegetables you're growing" said Igor.
"Republicans!" shouted Gangreen as he and Igor left the garden. Out of the garden sprouted little heads of familiar republican faces like Richard Nixon, George Bush Sr., as well as a George Bush Jr. "Have we got plans for this country, huh son?" George Sr. asked George Jr.
Chad, Tara, and F.T. were still chasing after the rocket on skateboard. "Slow down, Chad", said Tara, holding onto F.T. with one arm and onto Chad with the other. "We might bump into something or someone!"
"I can't worry about that now!" shouted Chad. "We have to catch that rocket before I lose my parents again!"
"But how do you know if they're onboard that rocket?" asked Tara. "It could be coming back trying to find more humans to take away. Maybe even you!"
"If that happens, maybe they'll take me to my Mom and Dad", said Chad. "That cucumber isn't leaving this planet until I get some answers!"
F.T. made a nervous squeak for he had never seen Chad so determined and out of control before.
"I know what you mean, F.T.", whispered Tara. Soon, the kids had followed the rocket out of the town and to the camp where the Tomato Worms resided.
"Hold it right there, kids", said the Chief Worm. "You can't go past the town's limits! That's where those killer tomatoes are searching for human flesh to eat!"
"But we need to follow that cucumber shaped rocket up there!" demanded Chad.
"We think it might lead to the mystery of what happened to Chad's parents", said Tara.
"Well, okay", said the Chief Worm. "But at least let one worm go with you for protection. Let's see, who should be the one? I know! Michael, you want the job as bodyguard?"
"Yeah, yeah!" said a worm who happened to be the same one who held up that upside-down sign on TV. He got onboard the skateboard with our heroes.
"Thanks a lot, Chief Worm", said the kids as they skated off into the field continuing their chase.
"Why'd you choose Michael to go along with them?" asked another worm. "You know he was only born with two brains while the rest of us have four!"
"I know", said the Chief Worm. "But the poor schmuck really needs a confidence booster!"
In a camp that consisted of giant tomato soup cans, we see the villainous tomato leaders known as the Gang of 6, gathered around a table, playing cards. "You got any twos?" asked the muscular tomato known as Tomacho.
"Blowfish", said the giant drooling tomato known as Ketchuck.
"That's Go-Fish, not blowfish, you fool!" hissed the cobra like tomato known as Fang.
"How much do you all want to wager in this next round?" asked the tomato with bullhorns known as Beefsteak.
"All I got left are some toothpicks, chewed gum, and a penny holder, minus the pennies", said the bandaged tomato known as Mumato.
"I can't take this anymore!" shouted their leader, Zoltan, who started to smash the card table with a sledgehammer.
"Chill out, Oh doesn't set a good example for a calm leader, Zoltan", said Tomacho.
"Yeah, it's not our fault you're having a bad luck streak", said Fang.
"It's not just that", groaned Zoltan. "It's just we got this entire planet conquered, except for that one little dirt bag town known as San Zucchini!"
"Yes", said Mumato. "It does cause us quite the frustrations. It's like that one missing piece of a picture puzzle."
"Or like missing one episode in a bootlegged video series you buy off the internet", said Ketchuck.
"Who cares about one little town?" hissed Fang. "I'd much prefer if we took over the entire universe!"
"Yeah", said Zoltan. "Now that you mention it, this Earth is only a tiny little seed in this garden we call a universe!"
"And I bet there's no Tomato Worms in space to stop us from conquering those planets", said Beefsteak.
"Who are we kidding?" grumbled Zoltan. "We need some kind of rocket thingy to get us into outer space. It's not like one's going to drop down around here right now."
"You mean like that thing?" asked Ketchuck, pointing his stem somewhere. The Gang of 6 turned around and saw that rocket cucumber about to come in for a landing a mile from their camp.
"Looks like Santa's left us an early Christmas present!" snickered Zoltan as he and the other tomatoes started to charge to the scene.
Chad, Tara, and F.T. were hiding behind a huge bush as they watched the huge rocket cucumber finally landing. "I've been waiting and hoping for this day in 5 years!" whispered Chad.
"It's landing in the Gang of 6's mulching grounds", gasped Tara. "I'm sure they're not going to be pleased about this!"
"It's a cucumber", said Chad. "It probably wants to land on something fertile."
F.T. made a squeak for a small door suddenly opened on the side of the rocket. A stairway that looked like a celery stick slid out of the door.
"Please let two familiar people step out of that thing!" whispered Chad as he had his fingers crossed. Sure enough, something did come out of the door and went down the celery stairs. But unfortunately, it was only one being. It was short and wearing a green spacesuit. Its head was covered with a round helmet that looked like a green melon with a blue visor. And it was holding a bouquet of what looked like strange purple tulips.
"Could it be one of your parents?" asked Tara.
"No, it can't be", said a disappointed Chad. "That traveler is too short to be one of my parents. It looks like my size!"
"Maybe the aliens on that rocket shrunk your parents", said Tara. "And they're sharing a spacesuit."
"SHRUNK MY PARENTS?" gasped Chad.
"Sorry", said Tara. "It's sometimes hard coming up with bright sides!"
"I'm going to approach that alien", said Chad with a determined face. Until F.T. got in his way making squeaking demands.
"F.T. is right, Chad", said Tara. "What if that alien is hostile?"
"He is carrying flowers", said Chad. "Maybe it's a sign of peace."
"Or they could be poisonous man-eating flowers", said Tara. "Or even boy-eating flowers!"
Just then, the rocket and alien suddenly got surrounded by the Gang of 6. "Well, well. What have we got here?" laughed Zoltan. Chad quickly jumped back in the bush with his friends.
"How do you do strange visitor to our world?" said Tomacho. "We, the killer tomatoes of Earth, have come to welcome you. And to thrash you and take your rocket for ourselves."
"OTAMOT! OTAMOT!" said the alien in a muffled voice from the helmet.
"What did it just call us?" asked Beefsteak.
"It sounded very insulting to me", said Fang.
"Or maybe it was a compliment", said Mumato.
"But I don't like the way that space punk said it!" said Zoltan. "Let's teach it a valuable Earth lesson! Ketchuck, do the honors."
Ketchuck stuck out a vine, grabbed the alien by the ankles, and started swinging it around like yo-yo.
"Nice form!" said Tomacho. "You should compete in our first annual Tomato-lympics!"
"My doctor said I should avoid all sports", said Ketchuck as he continued to spin the alien around.
"How horrible!" gasped Tara.
"Tara, can your tomato powers save that alien?" asked Chad.
"I'll try", said Tara. "But Ketchuck looks pretty strong though!" Tara concentrated and her eyes glowed red. Suddenly a red aura formed around the alien and got pulled out of Ketchuck's grip and ended up smashing head first into a nearby tree.
"Aw, you got buttervines!" said Mumato.
"It ain't me!" protested Ketchuck. "It's that traitor tomato babe's doing!" The Gang of 6 looked over and saw Chad, Tara, and F.T. tending to the knocked out alien.
"It's those meddling kids again", said Zoltan. "And their meddling dog!"
"Wrong cartoon!" said Fang.
"Oh yeah", said Zoltan. "I meant to say meddling fuzzy tomato!"
"Let's get 'em!" shouted Beefsteak as the Gang of 6 started to roll right at our heroes.
"Uh oh", said Tara holding the unconscious alien in her lap. "It looks like we've been spotted!"
"Don't worry", said Chad. "We got our Tomato Worm bodyguard with us. Right, Michael? Uh, Michael? Where'd you go?" Our heroes looked around and found Michael the Worm gone.
In another part of the forest, we see Michael following after the same ants carrying the breadstick. "I've never seen a cute little worm like you around these parts before", said Michael with hearts in his eyes. "And I love your perfume. Smells like seasoned dough!"
The 6 tomatoes were getting closer and closer to the trembling heroes. "We'll teach you to take our space munchies!" shouted Zoltan. Just then, Wilbur charged out of another bush holding his sword.
"Hold it right there, stems for brains!" shouted Wilbur. "You're not making meals of them!"
"You're going to stop us alone, Finletter?" laughed Zoltan. "Where's the rest of your Task Force?"
"They're in other parts of the world trying to undo the damage you did to our fine world", said Wilbur. "But luckily, I got an army that's just as deadly to tomatoes!" Wilbur flung his parachute in front of the Gang of 6 revealing the things killer tomatoes fear the most.
"TOMATO WORMS!" shouted the Gang of 6.
"I told you Michael wasn't really the best worm for the job", said the second worm pointing to a clearing where Michael was romancing the breadstick.
"I'll give that boy a good talking to later", said the Chief Worm. "Right now, it's censored tomato torturing time!"
The worms started to jump on the tomatoes while the town's censor lady appeared and put a CENSORED card in front of the screen. For what Tomato Worms do to tomatoes was too gross and horrible to even mention on TV or even in a fanfic.
"RETREAT!" shouted Zoltan as the Gang of 6 rolled off into the horizon while the Tomato Worms chased after them.
"It's not the same as my Tomato Task Force", said Wilbur. "But those worms seem to know how to do the job." Then Wilbur turned to the huge cucumber shaped rocket and then turned to the kids and fuzzy tomato who was with the unconscious space suited alien.
"I guess you were right, Chad", said Wilbur. "There really is such thing as a cucumber rocket."
"And that's not all", said Chad, pointing to the unconscious alien. Wilbur looked with rage and picked up the alien by the shoulders.
"So it was you who took away my brother and sister in-law and caused Chad years of grief!" growled Wilbur, "What did you do with them? And if they're still alive, you'd better bring them back before I kick alien butt!"
"Easy, Mr. Finletter", said Tara as she and Chad tried to pull the alien out of Wilbur's grip.
"We think he's knocked out", said Chad, pointing to the crack on the melon helmet. "That Gang of 6 seemed to really hurt him bad."
"I see", said Wilbur. "I suppose we can show this alien visitor or maybe alien invader some mercy and prove to him that Earth citizens aren't so evil. Let's get him back to the Pizza Palace."
"But what about that rocket?" asked Tara, "Are we just going to leave it there where anyone can take it?"
"I wouldn't worry about it", said Wilbur. "The San Zucchini citizens never seem to notice weird stuff like huge vegetables. And besides, that worm over there hugging the breadstick can guard it."
"Sure, whatever", said Michael who was still hugging the breadstick, lovingly.
"Now let's head back to the Pizza Palace", said Wilbur as he and the kids picked up the alien and rushed back to the town. F.T. saw the purple tulips lying on the ground and gathered them up and followed after them.
Michael still had the breadstick wrapped around in his coils. "Oh, my popping fresh fragrance of worm!" said Michael. "Nothing will ever come between us!" Just then, the other breadstick that was carried by the second group of ants passed them by.
"Hello, even hotter worm babe!" said Michael, tossing the first breadstick into a ditch and started following the second one. "Sorry, first babe", said Michael. "But we'll always have whatever that was!" and he crawled off leaving the rocket unguarded.
Just then, Whitley White snuck out from behind a tree and got in front of the rocket. He then combed his hair, used a powder puff on his face, and finally took out a camcorder and aimed it at himself.
"This is Whitley White, broadcasting with an extremely low budget, bringing you the biggest news report in San Zucchini, no make that the world", said Whitley. "I'm standing right behind what looks like a huge cucumber from space. That's right sci-fi fans, an actual alien cucumber has landed near our humble nothing ever happens town. And I'm about to bravely enter this strange vegetable vessel and bring you footage of the bizarre and unknown."
Whitley climbed up the celery stairs and entered the ship. "This is very interesting", said Whitley. "So far, we know that alien cucumber rockets are very dark!" Just then, he heard something growling from above. It almost looked like some kind of carnivorous plant. "Mommy?" gasped Whitley as the toothy plant shot down from the darkness.
Meanwhile, in the Pizza Palace's storeroom, our heroes had the unconscious alien lying on a couch. "An actual alien life form", said Chad, amazed. "And he's just moments away of telling me what happened to my parents."
"But what if he doesn't know?" said Tara. "Maybe he wasn't involved with your parents' abduction. He could only be visiting Earth."
"Well, we soon find out", said Wilbur. "Let's get this helmet off of him and see if we can wake him up."
"Wait, Uncle Wilbur", said Chad. "That helmet might be his life support. Taking it off might expose him to something that's dangerous to him in our atmosphere."
"Like Mr. Filnetter's cooking", Tara whispered to F.T as they secretly giggled.
"There's a crack in his helmet", said Wilbur. "If there's any life support in this helmet, it's probably all leaked out by now." And he started to remove the helmet.
"What if there's a hideous looking alien face underneath that helmet?" asked Tara, covering her eyes. Just then, the helmet was removed and the alien's face was finally exposed.
"It's a girl!" gasped Wilbur.
"A girl?" asked Tara, uncovering her eyes. Sure enough, it was a girl who looked like she was around 10 or 11. She looked human, only she had green skin with pointy ears. And she had bushy hair that really looked like a bush. Her hair was made of dark green leaves.
"It's a g.. a girl!" gasped Chad, not expecting the space creature from the flying cucumber he hated all these years to be a young girl."
"Don't be fooled by appearances, Chad-boy", said Wilbur. "This could be a clever disguise to throw us off guard. Or maybe she's related to Dr. Gangreen. They've both got the same green skin!"
"I don't think so, Mr. Finletter", said Tara, studying the girl's face. "Dr. Gangreen's greenness came from a chemical explosion. This girl's greenness is actually chlorophyll, a substance plants develop to feed themselves."
"Are you sure, Tara?" asked Wilbur.
"Yes", said Tara. "And Dr. Gangreen never had hair made of leaves. Except for that time Igor accidentally knocked a houseplant off the shelf and landed on Gangreen's head. He he he he!"
Chad was standing there gawking in silence as he gazed at the mysterious green girl. "Isn't it amazing, Chad?" said Tara, holding onto his shoulders. "A girl who's part plant, just like me! Maybe I've found a kindred spirit!"
"I'm sorry, did you say something?" asked Chad as he continued to stare at the green girl. Just then, the girl opened her eyes which were yellow. And her pupils looked like tiny little pink posies.
"Ah, she's awake", said Wilbur, "Now maybe we can get some long awaited answers from her."
The girl suddenly looked at the group surrounding her, she nervously sat up.
"Um, hi there", said Tara. "Welcome to Earth. I'm sorry your first encounter here wasn't a pleasant one. And I apologize for what those awful killer tomatoes did to you."
"Moova zomba grzkluv mazzi krmdc crimz", said the girl in a strange, but pretty voice.
"Sorry, but I don't seem to understand you", said Tara, puzzled.
"Grizba mufu nspa vkvig", said the girl.
"She's speaking some kind of alien language", said Chad.
The girl took a look at Chad, then reached into the neck of her spacesuit and pulled out a photo. She saw the 5 year old boy in the picture and studied the 10 year old boy in front of her. "Voozta, mzbx, Chad Finletter?" asked the girl.
"Um, yes. That's my name", said Chad, surprised.
"Vannizva!" said the girl happily as she hugged Chad, causing him to blush. Then she grabbed Chad's hands and tried to drag him out the door.
"Wait, where are you taking me?" asked Chad.
"Pefrl mifmif gruzz Saladovia!" said the girl.
"Hold it right there, missy!" said Wilbur, jumping in front of the door. "If you think you're planning on taking away my nephew and doing unspeakable experiment tortures or even fanboy alien fantasies to him, you're wrong!"
"Kazza vnko moof!" said the girl, trying to explain to Wilbur in a calm voice.
"Hold on a minute everyone", said Tara getting in between them. "We all need to sit down and discuss this situation calmly."
"How can we discuss anything when one of us doesn't speak English?" demanded Wilbur.
F.T. made an annoyed squeak.
"Okay, make that two of us who doesn't speak English", sighed Wilbur.
The girl looked down at F.T. and saw him carrying those purple tulips in his stems. "Zu boink!" smiled the girl as she took the tulips from F.T. and patted his fuzzy head. Then the girl put the stems of the tulips in her mouth and started to aim the flower parts at our heroes.
"Oh no, she's planning to fire on us!" shouted Wilbur as he tried to push, Chad, Tara, and F.T. back. But the girl ended up blowing some kind of yellow pollen at our heroes causing everyone to cough and sneeze
"What kind of alien evil is this?" demanded Wilbur. "ACHOO!"
"Please forgive me for doing that to all of you", said the girl.
"No problem, ACHOO!" said Tara, blowing her nose. "I usually get exposed to pepper a lot so I'm used to it, ACHOO!"
"Wait a minute, ACHOO!" said Chad. "You're suddenly speaking English?"
"No, I'm actually still speaking Saladovian", said the girl. "I just sprayed you with the pollen of the Translation Tulips grown in the Southern plains of Saladovia. It let's you understand my language."
"Saladovia?" asked Wilbur. "Didn't that used to be part of the Soviet Union?"
"No", said the girl. "Saladovia is my home planet. Oh, I should probably introduce myself. My name is Xylena."
"Xylena", said Chad. "What an amazing name. I'm…"
"Chad, I know", said Xylena. "Your parents have told me such wonderful things about you."
"My parents?" gasped Chad. "You know them?"
"Yes", said Xylena. "They are my dearest friends and wish to see you again. So I've come to bring you to them."
"Where are they?" asked Chad nervously.
"Why on my home planet of Saladovia of course", smiled Xylena.
"Wait a minute, hold the phone!" demanded Wilbur. "You mean you didn't bring Chad's parents back home?"
"I couldn't bring them back here", said Xylena sadly.
"And why not?" demanded Wilbur with rage. "And why did you take them away in your ship 5 years ago? You'd better start explaining before I make a side salad out of you!" and he pointed his sword at Xylena.
"You must be Wilbur Finletter", said Xylena. "Rob and Elisa warned me you were a little, if I may borrow an Earth slogan, insane in the brain."
"It comes from defending this country from killer tomatoes", said Wilbur. "If you saw the horrors me and my brave comrades went through battling those ketchup creeps, you'll see why I act like this. Now are you gonna explain why you did what you did five years ago!" Chad and Tara tried to push Uncle Wilbur back.
"It wasn't me who took away Chad's parents", said Xylena. "I was only a little sprout back then. It was my elders who took them away."
"But why did they take my Mom and Dad?" asked Chad.
"They didn't want to do it, but our planet was in a desperate situation", said Xylena. "If you'll come back to my rocket, I'll explain everything."
"What do you say, Uncle Wilbur?" asked Chad.
"I don't know", said Wilbur. "It sounds like a trap to me."
"But she might be telling the truth", said Chad. "I could actually see Mom and Dad again."
"Well, I know how you feel, Chad-boy", said Wilbur. "I miss them a whole bunch too. But I'm coming along with you!"
"Thank you", said Xylena, bowing to him.
"But I warn you", said Wilbur, pointing his sword, "If you try anything funny the minute we're on that huge cucumber. I'll slice my way through it, and you if I have to!"
"Gulp", went Xylena.
"Forgive him, please", whispered Tara. "He's had quite a few bad experiences with certain vegetables."
Later, Xylena had led our heroes back to the rocket. "Good, the coast is clear", said Wilbur. "Okay, let's go." Xylena, Chad, Tara, Wilbur, and F.T. climbed the celery stairs and entered the ship.
"It sure is dark in here", said Chad.
"Can you turn on the lights?" asked Tara.
"Of course", said Xylena. "Citrie, could you please?" Suddenly the lights went on. Our heroes found themselves in a hallway that looked like the inside of a cucumber with green walls decorated in seeds. "Thank you Citrie", said Xylena, talking to what looked like a small glowing lemon attached to a wall.
"My pleasure, Xylena", said the lemon. "Always love to brighten your day."
"A lemon lightbulb?" gasped Chad. "And it's talking too?"
"Why are you surprised?" asked Tara. "Some certain plant life can talk and even glow." Tara's red eyes glowed at Chad.
Xylena had led our heroes into a big room. There was a huge window in the front, the seats looked like huge pea pods, and it looked like there was also a huge salad bar with lots of vegetation.
"Is this your ship's galley?" asked Chad.
"No, this is the cockpit", said Xylena.
"Why do you have a salad bar in your cockpit?" asked Tara.
"This here is the control panel", smiled Xylena as she sat down in the front pea pod and started twisting certain radishes and cherries and pulling down on a carrot like a lever. The vegetables started flashing and making strange blinking noises.
"You mean you operate this rocket with plant life?" asked Chad.
"Of course", said Xylena proudly. "All of our Saladovian technology is plant life. It's the most advanced and environmentally friendly source of technology in the universe. Right, Q-51?"
"You'd better believe it, babe!" said a voice. Our heroes looked around in surprise and suddenly, a hatch opened in the center of the cockpit, and out rose a glass jar. And in the jar was a huge glowing seed.
"Hey, there Earth forms", said the seed, "The name's Q-51. The finest, fastest, most handsomest, rocket cucumber from Saladovia."
"Not to mention egotistic", sighed Xylena.
"Amazing", said Tara, coming closer to the seed in a jar. "A little seed that already has the ability to talk at a young age."
"You called me young!" said the seed as it looked like it was pouring out tears of joy. "Despite that I reached the middle aged years last month!"
"What you're looking at is the brain of this rocket", sighed Xylena, "Which is in need of many more years of maturing!"
"This is all really fascinating", said Chad. "But I really want to know what happened to my parents."
"Oh yes. Your parents", said Xylena, blushing. "You see…." But before she could answer, the rocket started to rumble and shake.
"What's going on?" cried Tara as F.T. jumped into her arms.
"Q-51, you didn't skip breakfast again, did you?" demanded Xylena.
"Hey, you already watered and fertilized me this morning so how could I skip it?" said Q-51 in a sarcastic voice. "And I think you all should look out the windows." Our heroes peeked out the cockpit's portholes and saw some things trying to bang and knock the rocket over.
"TOMATOES!" shouted Tara.
"OTAMOTS!" shouted Xylena.
"Otamots?" asked Chad. "It's the Gang of 6! They must've ditched the Tomato Worms somehow!"
Sure enough, the Gang of 6 was back and they brought with them a horde of tomato soldiers banging the bottom of the rocket.
"That's it!" shouted Ketchuck. "Take that rocket and rock it! HA HA HA! I love puns!"
"I prefer punch lines!" shouted Zoltan as he punched Ketchuck in the face causing drool to spout on Zoltan. "Gross!" groaned a messy Zoltan.
"Let's go in and really put them in orbit!" shouted Beefsteak as he tried to climb the stairs and enter the door. But he was so big that he couldn't get through. "Blast these horns!" grumbled the bull tomato.
"Let me go in!" hissed Fang. "I can slither my way through anything!" The snake tomato tried to squeeze in but couldn't get through either.
"None of us seem to be petit enough to get through that very small door", said Mumato.
"Maybe we should consider Atkins?" asked Tomacho.
"Nyaaah, let's just make a bigger door", said Zoltan. "Men, charge up your appetites!" The tomato soldiers started to chomp their fangs like a bunch of hungry piranhas and was about to do some serious nibbling.
"Xy baby!" said Q-51, "Be a cool kid and GET ME OUT OF HERE BEFORE I'M LUNCH!"
"Right", said Xylena as she sat in the main pea pod chair as vines wrapped around her waist. "You'll all need to be seated as well." Suddenly vines shot out of the other pea pod chairs and seized Chad and Tara by the waists and pulled them into the seats.
"This is certainly a good way to never forget to buckle up", said Tara as she was holding F.T.
"Uncle Wilbur?" asked Chad as he turned his head and saw Wilbur trying to charge out of the cockpit while his parachute was being seized by the vine of his chair.
"We're not going to let those tomato jerks make us run like a bunch of yellow bellies!" shouted Wilbur. "I'm going down there and taking care of them myself!" Xylena just made a sigh and pushed a strawberry button on the control panel. More vines started to shoot out of the chair, seizing Wilbur, causing him to sit down. "MGMGML!" mumbled an angry Wilbur for his mouth was wrapped up to protest.
"Prepare for blast off!" said Xylena as she took out what looked like a chili pepper and threw it into a slot on the control panel. Suddenly, the rocket started to explode at the bottom knocking the killer tomatoes back. And the rocket blasted off into space. The Gang of 6 started jumping around making censored cursing phrases as they watched the rocket disappear into the night sky.
"This is a fine kettle of tomato soup!" groaned Tomacho. "Oops, pardon my language, please."
"Now how are we supposed to get hold of our only transport to outer space?" asked Zoltan.
"Perhaps I can be of assistance", said a voice. The Gang of 6 turned around and found Dr. Gangreen and Igor dressed in space suits.
The rocket known as Q-51 was now seen flying in space. "Okay, we've seemed to have escaped", said Xylena. "Are you all right, Q-51?"
"Yeah, I'll survive", said Q-51.
"MGFML!" mumbled Wilbur, who was still completely wrapped up in his chair.
"Oops, my apologies", said Xylena. "I guess I can turn off the fasten seat vines sign." She pushed the strawberry button again and everyone was released from their seats and suddenly floated around.
"I'm floating!" shouted Tara. "Have we become ghosts?"
"Don't worry, Tara", said Chad. "There's little gravity in space. Astronauts go through this all the time."
F.T. made a squeak while pointing to the front window. Our heroes floated over and saw something amazing.
"Is that the Earth?" asked Tara. "It looks so amazing from way up here."
"It sure is", said Chad. "I've always wanted to see the Earth all the way from space. I just wish it wasn't that evil red color."
"It's all the fault of those blasted tomatoes!" grumbled Wilbur. "Nobody turns my humble home planet into a ball of ketchup. One day I'll make those monsters pay!"
Suddenly, our heroes fell down to the floor in a huge pile.
"Many pardons again", said Xylena as she went over to offer them a hand. "I just turned on the gravity so we wouldn't be floating around like a bunch of leaves in a gale."
"No problem", said Chad as he reached for Xylena's hand. As Chad got up, he looked into Xylena's flower like pupils. "Man, she's pretty", Chad thought to himself. "What am I thinking? I should really be thinking about my lost parents! But this amazing alien girl could actually lead me to them."
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot, Xy", said Q-51, "One of our guards had captured an intruder when you stepped out of me."
"An intruder?" asked Xylena.
"Shall I bring him here in your presence?" asked Q-51. "Don't worry, he seems harmless. But he sure does talk in an annoying voice though."
"As long as he doesn't cause me and my new friends harm", said Xylena.
"Okay, Munchie. Bring in the intruder", called out Q-51. Suddenly, a huge Venus flytrap had slithered into the cockpit. Our heroes backed away as they saw something moving in the flytrap's jaws. The plant spit out a man covered in green saliva.
"Whitley White!" gasped our heroes.
"YECHH!" grumbled Whitley as he tried to wipe off saliva. "I sure hope 60 Minutes will be worth all of this!"
"Is he a friend of yours?" Xylena asked Chad.
"You know, I'm not really sure", said Chad. "He always somehow appears in the dangerous situations we're in and usually ends up talking to himself."
"What do you think you're doing here, Whitley?" demanded Wilbur. "Don't you know that stepping into giant unknown vegetable life is dangerous?"
"I'm a news reporter", said Whitley, "It's my job to take risks. If we news reporters did no such things, we'd all be weathermen!" Whitley suddenly looked around the cockpit and the green plant-like girl. "Amazing!" said Whitley. "I have to get all of this on film. Where's my camcorder? It must still be in that carnivorous plant!"
"Munchie, give the nice Earthman his device back please", said Xylena.
"Okay", said the flytrap as he spit out the saliva covered camera back in Whitley's hand. Only to find that it was short circuiting and it fell apart.
"This is a fine how-do-you-do!" grumbled Whitley. "The biggest news story of my career, and I can't get any footage of it! I wish I brought a spare camcorder!"
"I just wish I get to see my Mom and Dad right now", sighed Chad.
"Don't worry, we will", said Xylena, getting back in her pilot's seat. "Q-51, take us back home!"
"Next stop, Saladovia!" said Q-51 as the rocket started to leave Earth behind and head off into the unknown reaches of the universe.
TO BE CONTINUED