"Hey there big fella, not so snappy." He smiled apologetically at the moron. "You have to excuse him. He does get a little bitey."
Surprisingly this did not calm the clinic patient down. Instead he stumbled backward into the door and pointed with horror. "That's … that's …"
"Yes that is right. That is my best friend in the whole wide world."
He smiled sarcastically. "I know, but we try not to mention it." This did no good and the patient bolted.
He winced as the cry echoed around the clinic. He tugged on the chain and House and his best friend made their way to the clinic waiting room where 'The Evil One' was tapping her expensively clad foot.
"I have told you not to bring Wilson into work," she admonished. "You know how people feel about zombies."
He shushed her with his hand. "Don't use the Z word."
"The what word?"
He came closer. "The Z word," he hissed. "He's sensitive," he said petulantly, then abruptly turned around. "Stop sniffing my neck Wilson," he said calmly. "We have talked about this before haven't we? It is not polite to eat peoples' brains." He frowned. "I don't know why you want them anyway. For a starters you are dead and therefore your digestive tract doesn't even work; and most of the people who come into this clinic are morons, so you'd just get indigestion." Wilson just groaned. He gave him a little pat on the back, but snatched his hand back when Wilson lunged for it.
Cuddy was not impressed with his display of 'Zombie Love'. "House, I am not going to discuss Zombie rights with you. I don't care what you do with him, just get him out of this clinic." She threw up her hands. "Give him to Chase to look after."
House actually looked a bit embarrassed. "He ate Chase."
He just ran a hand across his throat. "Not so street smart as he thought he was."
"Is there anyone who could take him while you do clinic."
He pointed to where she was currently terrorizing an intern. "She could handle him."
"Why Nurse Brenda?"
"Because she is evil."
"Nurse Brenda is not evil."
"Oh Nurse Brenda is so obviously evil. Did you know her head can revolve 360 degrees?"
Cuddy paused. "Really."
He nodded enthusiastically. "She is so the antichrist and her current squeeze is a blonde fang boy called Spike. He keeps eyeing me off – and not for my perky buns."
"But she does keep up to date on the paperwork."
He had to admit that was a plus, especially now that Cameron had been eaten. He wondered if he could train Wilson to do paperwork? Nah - He'd probably just drool on it.
They looked over to Nurse Brenda's station.
"You know I always did wonder about the goat slaughtering thing," said Cuddy thoughtfully. "I just put it down to the fact that nurses were quirky."