Late post! This is an edited version of one of my Ten for Ten submissions (NejiTen Fest); this is also the entry I found most delightful to write. My LJ has the nine other stuff I made (arts, drabbles, graphics, etc.)
I'm also finding a little trouble with the Nanny finale, so please bear with me. Thank you!
If we obey physics, the range of my stick should be somewhere around eight to nine feet only, but I've devised a way to make my fighting range reach twelve feet. See that? Three extra feet, which can mean more room to work around with for someone who's battling eight people at once inside a cramped bowling alley!" The excitement in Tenten's tone was patent.
Hyuuga Neji, who was seated beside her, had been listening to her for the past half hour, with an unreadable expression on his face written with such legibility that it was virtually impossible for anyone to miss it.
Well, admittedly, Tenten could be kind of impossible at times.
"What would these eight people be doing in a bowling alley that is cramped anyway?" he muttered.
"Anyway, the stick does tend to break off easily, but I'll be surveying the forest for sturdier wood sources."
"I am tempted to use a three-part staff, but the idea of split-second loss of control doesn't appeal to me. It's a shame though, since it's a versatile weapon, and it's linked by chains. Tough stuff."
She nodded. "I'm glad you agree. In fact, Neji, we really should set up a sparring session that will compare those two weapons."
Finally, Neji reached the breaking limit of his not-so-very-long rope of patience. He faced her, irked. "Should we really do this tonight?" he asked, voice rising.
Her eyes widened, startled. "No, of course not, Neji. We can do the sparring session next week—"
"Not that," he hissed. "This."
"This." He combed his hair back, fighting for his temper. "Tenten, all of these things you are sharing to me… they're amazing. But do we really have to talk about these on our first night as man and wife?" asked Neji in exasperation.
She paused, and then grinned. "Why not? I think it's a good opportunity as any other given night."
"Fine!" Neji turned his back on his newly-wed bride, sulking. After all those physical and mental preparations he made—all those man-to-man tips about rendering the "best sensual performance of his life" in his recently-staged stag party, those scrubbing and mouth-washing and brushing, the ryos he spent on colognes extracted from all fragrant objects possible… hell, Tenten was intending to spend their honeymoon night conversing about weapons!
"… of course, the best weapon remains to be the human being itself…" Tenten was saying, not caring anymore if he was burying his head on the pillow like an ostrich, childishly using the fluffy pillows as sheath to protect his ears from her droning. Not that it was doing much good. Her words were still penetrating the physical blockade he erected.
Why ever did I marry a weapons expert? He couldn't help but think, sighing in misery. He had his pick of women, in various lovely and exotic feathers and carriages. He was a Hyuuga after all, with the wealth, looks, and power that amplified the privileges he carried like a price tag around his neck.
And yet he picked Tenten, possibly the most tomboyish, most sarcastic, most un-romantic, and most weapon-crazed woman in all of Konoha.
The reason? Nothing earth-shattering.
It was just that he knew he would never forgive himself if he would never see her walking down the aisle in a wedding dress, heading for him.
And the logic? One may ask.
Sadly, there was simply no use scrutinizing the sense of the circumstances at hand when it comes to that woman. It all came down to the natural need for her, the way he instinctively needed oxygen and sunlight.
And Tenten being impossible? Oh, he could live with that—her little faults and nuances perfected the one woman he would ever love as long as he lived.
"… and one of the deadliest arts known to man in combat is grappling. And I'm proud to inform my husband that his wife is particularly gifted in that field of martial arts," said Tenten, still blissfully unaware of how far his train of thought had traveled.
He turned to her with a sigh. "Really?" It was the most intelligent comment he could come up with—disappointment still hung around his shoulders like boulders with ACME engraved on them.
She smiled brightly. "Why, of course!" She drew closer to him. "In fact, I've studied one discipline of it just for you."
To his surprise, she suddenly pounced on him, her hands pushing his chest down to the bed. A silly grin formed on her face. "Bed grappling."
"H-Huh?" What a peculiar name for a fighting tech—Neji's thoughts halted when her hands began to loosen the knot of his robe. It took only a couple of seconds for her hands to reveal the nakedness of his chest.
"Without using hands or legs, a grappling master—or mistress, in my case—can bring her opponent down to his knees on surrender." Her fingers teased and caressed him from underneath the gray cloth wrapped around him.
"Really?" White-hot desire flooded his senses. His hands automatically came up on her, reciprocating her every touch, every thrill she gave him. She bent down on his face, mere inches separating their faces.
She was looking down at him, her gaze smoldering. In a tight whisper, she continued to tease. "Yeah. And know what? Applying just the right pressure… just the right touch on her opponent's most sensitive part can finish the battle decisively."
"Hmm?" he murmured lazily, bathing her face with light, feathery kisses. He knew she understood what he said; translated it to 'Let's see you do it then'.
And she did what every good weapon should: meld into the man completely and become as one.