Title: Statistical Probabilities
Fandom: Bones (crossover)
Words: 317
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not mine, I'm just playing with them.

"Doctor Brennan, Doctor Saroyan," Goodman ground out, resisting the urge to rub his temples. "Could you please explain how, exactly, you lose a research assistant?"

Brennan and Saroyan looked at each other. Brennan had just opened her mouth to reply when Goodman's phone rang. "One moment," he said, picking up the handset. "Goodman speaking."

"Professor Goodman?" Came a familiar voice amidst a squeal of static and the sounds of shouting voices. "I know you normally only speak to people with doctorates, but this is important."

"Mister Addy," he said. "What a coincidence, we were just talking about you."

"I'm not sure exactly." He tilted his head to the side as he tried to pick out the accent of the men yelling obscenities in the background. "Are you in Kansas, Mister Addy?"

"No, I'm in Nebraska," Zack replied. "You know ancient Hittite, right?"

Goodman frowned. "Apart from the fact that all Hittite is by default ancient, I do indeed, Mister Addy, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Because the translation I have in this journal is wrong, and unless Sam and I perform this binding ritual correctly, Agent Booth and Dean are ten bullets away from getting disembowelled by a snake god," Zack stated matter-of-factly. The unmistakeable sound of a gun firing rang out over the phone. "Nine, now."

Goodman raised an eyebrow. "You have to perform an ancient Hittite binding ritual to prevent a snake god disembowelling Agent Booth?"

"Yes. After the ritual, we can blow it up."

Ignoring the befuddled expressions on Brennan and Saroyan's faces, Goodman sighed, turning to his computer. "I don't suppose you have a copy of the original you can email me?"

After all, when weighing the statistical probability of mythical creatures wanting to maim federal agents versus that of one Zack Addy coming up with that kind of story, snake gods were just that much more plausible.