Atonement

By Seniya

Realization

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you

Savage Garden: I Knew I Loved You

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Had he expected an epiphany…a moment of blessed intermission within the play of time itself? When the four winds would still, the heavens would sing and even the earth would halt on its axis…Had he really?

Maybe.

Yes actually, Caleb admitted to himself, he had. He had at the very least decided that at this moment of…romantic realization there would have been something…anything more poignant occurring in his universe than the dull sound of traffic in his ears and the piecing sensation of the broiling afternoon sun against his neck.

But there wasn't…for somehow the Gods had decided that remarkable as his epiphany was, it alone wasn't worthy of the apocalypse, and thus he was left standing foolishly in the middle of the sidewalk with a stupid, albeit happy grin plastered on his face.

Love does that to you after all.

Ah love, it was so simple that now it seemed to him that he had been incredibly foolish over the past few weeks. Foolish in his denial (because he hadn't believed that he could feel this way, not about her), foolish with his pride (because this was unrequited…and he couldn't bear to hear the no that would inevitably fall from her lips) and foolish because he'd lived too long in fear of these feelings…when truly, they were astonishing. Just a taste of euphoria, merely a sensation of tenderness deep inside of his chest, one that he knew should feel painful, but left him longing…begging for more.

Just like her in some ways…

And then there was the ignorance; the uncertainty that was slowly creeping up from behind him, lurking in the shadows, readying itself to pounce.

For he wasn't sure about anything anymore: he didn't, for example know exactly when the line between comrade and…infatuation had been crossed. He was sure what he would do next…stare at her for the rest of his days? Pretend that it didn't disturb him tremendously when she stood too close to him…when the aroma of her shampoo infiltrated his defenses…

Took over his mind and forced him to imagine the most un-companionable things.

…and he was also completely unaware of how to react to this: how she would…should he ever become idiotic enough to inform her of his not so complicated emotions. Because the lightheadedness that he was feeling now was bad enough, and he had only admitted this to himself a few minutes ago… it frightened him to think about how it might intensify.

Strange, thought he, how he had faced so many enemies in his short lifetime…men who would think little of wounding him…and far less about decapitating him…yet the greatest chink in his armor had come from her. From the way that she could look up at his face with nothing but naked concern in her cinnamon eyes…the way that she would bite her lips when she was upset…being far too nice to ever let on what she was actually thinking…the way that she would smile at him sometimes, her subtle method of reassurance.

It had all worked to intoxicate him…although he was fairly certain that it hadn't been her original intention. Now he was drunk on this frivolous feeling, standing stock still in the middle of the crowded sidewalk watching her as she walked away, her scarlet hair tumbling past her shoulders to dance along her back.

The smile grew wider and he wondered…momentarily if he should try to hide it, to behave, in the minds of those around him, in a more suitable…rather…sane manner—but the thought faded almost as quickly as it had come. No, he was in love (he deserved at least a few moments of madness)…head over heels, ass backwards, bolts from the blue…in love with her.

It had taken him far too long to realize it, much too long to decide that he would admit it… and now he found that he didn't care if the woman who was peering at him awkwardly from the house next door knew it. His world had stopped turning, his heaven was screaming and his breath had been stolen by the winds themselves.

Because he loved her.

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Author: I'm writing drabbles. Yes, it has come to this. They don't take me long; this one took about two hours. Well anyways the deal with these is that okay, there is an overall plot, which is pitifully simple just about the issues of any relationship: we'll have a beginning, middle and an end. You know a get together, a few arguments, a first kiss, maybe a first other things (depends on how people tell me that this season ends hiss). I'm working with some prompts and these chapters may not all be connected in the right way or in an actual order but whatever, its fluff so you guys won't complain. They're also to prove the point: we are not dead! Just…stunned…shocked…paralyzed…traumatized. Ek.

I'd just like to clear my name; I haven't stopped watching the show because of Cornelia or Cornelia and Caleb's love fest. The dialogue in the show feels forced and un-natural, the storyline is unconvincing, the characterization is ridiculous and as a result Seniya no longer gives a damn about what happens; hence she doesn't feel the need to add to the energy crisis by wasting precious electricity watching 30 minutes of bilge water. There you go, I'm not petty, I just have a lot of things to do, and 30 minutes is a really long time. Sorry. So unless Phobos and Cedric turn up naked (baby oil in tow), Prince Zuko makes a cameo or Ernest Hemingway rises from the grave to write a season three, consider Seniya completely (and gladly) oblivious.

And yes, that is Savage Garden up there, I disgusted even myself with that one…but it fit. So I'll forgive myself.

Disclaimer: I disclaim.